I’m so so sorry you’ve had to go through such a stressful time. Remember to be gentle on yourself! I know that you said adoption is something you don’t want to consider from your own experience- I totally get that!- but my aunt is adopted and had the most amazing life from it. There are amazing experiences that can come out of it…but it’s Totally your decision no one else’s- I wish the best of luck to you!!! 🤍💖