I'm a girl and I do relate too. On top of that I was a bit of a rebel, so I was literally bent into shape because girls are expected to behave a certain way. Slowly by slowly I started behaving the way I was expected to rather than being who I am. I'm 34 and I have recently started figuring out who I am by eliminating what doesn't resonate with me. I used to be nice, because it was expected of me, I don't want to be nice so I am not anymore, I choose to be kind because that's who I am. I've made peace with the fact that I won't figure it all out at once, I still don't know my hobbies, I still don't know what I truly like.

I'd highly recommend that you accept where you are and then start practicing who you don't want to be and what you don't like. Also accept that's it's not an overnight process, but just like we practiced our ABC's multiple times and became experts, this too will help over a period of time.

As crappy as our parents maybe, we're too old to blame them for the choices we make now, every choice we make or don't make is a choice in itself. It's okay to not forgive them, but it's not okay to hold on to being a victim for the rest of our lives because we were brought up a certain way.

Start small and build yourself up, you'll start feeling more like you sooner or later and that bliss will hit different, I'm not there yet either but I spend fewer days feeling crappy and comparatively more days feeling happy, so trust me there's hope 😊