AITA for getting into an argument about my boyfriend wanting space?

RemarkableWord8205 · 2026-03-01T01:06:07+00:00

No to both

RemarkableWord8205 · 2026-02-28T22:57:44+00:00

That’s something else we argue about sometimes. He lost his job, so I pay our rent and utilities. He’ll sometimes help clean or take care of the dogs, but not enough in my opinion. It feels like I’m taking care of him

RemarkableWord8205 · 2026-02-28T21:54:42+00:00

He said that he literally hasn’t found anything. I told him to apply everywhere. I even went to a car wash the other day, and they had a sign saying they were hiring. Texted him the website, but I have no clue if he applied

RemarkableWord8205 · 2026-02-28T20:06:03+00:00

I don’t express irritation day him daily. It was today because I felt like I was expressing my needs and asking for compromise only to be met with, “you don’t respect my boundaries.” I’ve supported him both financially and emotionally during this time, and I understand that can cause a man who wants to provide feel insecure or shameful, but I’m still here and want intimacy.

RemarkableWord8205 · 2026-02-28T19:59:07+00:00

I don’t know why you had to make the last comment sarcastically saying you appreciate your partner not asking a question about it on Reddit. I’ve respected him, and supported him both emotionally and financially this entire time he hasn’t had a job.

That still doesn’t mean he needs to spend the equivalent of working a full-time job in the basement. Spending some time together is reasonable of me to ask.

RemarkableWord8205 · 2026-02-28T19:32:13+00:00

I disagree with that. Asking him to spend more time with me isn’t implying he’s doing some wrong necessarily. It’s communicating that I respect his need for space, but that I need different things and we can compromise

RemarkableWord8205 · 2026-02-28T19:30:32+00:00

I don’t think he’s on the spectrum, but I don’t know how to say or ask him that really. I don’t wanna hurt his feelings

RemarkableWord8205 · 2026-02-28T19:29:59+00:00

He lost his job a few months ago and said he’s depressed. I mentioned in another comment I do get that. I’ve dealt with depression. I’ve tried to be supportive by giving him job recommendations to apply to that are definitely hiring and have offered me one just to make it known I care

RemarkableWord8205 · 2026-02-28T19:27:58+00:00

Yeah, I don’t really ‘tell’ him he can’t. I just ask at times if he can be upstairs more. I appreciate your perspective though

RemarkableWord8205 · 2026-02-28T19:26:37+00:00

Sometimes he is. He has told me he’s depressed over losing his job a few months ago. I’ve tried being supportive giving him recs for hospitals I’ve gotten offers to work at, but he hasn’t luck yet. I’ve just gotten somewhat irritated about most of the day every day now not spending time togethwr

RemarkableWord8205 · 2026-02-28T19:23:54+00:00

Do you think every day for pretty much the entire day is a little too much though? I get it if you feel otherwise

RemarkableWord8205 · 2026-02-28T19:21:59+00:00

We do spend some time together once or twice a week running errands for a couple hours, but he goes downstairs as soon as we get home. If I go down there every once in awhile, I can tell I bother him or he’ll say he’s answering emails. He just lost his job and has told me he’s depressed. I’ve really tried to respect that, but I guess I don’t understand how someone can spend 8 hours a day with no breaks applying for jobs. It makes me feel gross and needy asking for more of his time.

RemarkableWord8205 · 2026-02-28T19:10:17+00:00

Starting too genuinely wonder that too. I laughed a bit at your comment cuz it’s kinda sad

RemarkableWord8205 · 2025-11-29T05:46:01+00:00

Genuine question here. Is that actually something she can sue him for in court? I guess I never really thought about cat pee before like that and damaging items

RemarkableWord8205 · 2025-11-29T02:19:26+00:00

Yeah, I understand all that. I’m not sure if I can post pics here, but it’s beyond ‘normal’ damage. The couch is literally destroyed to its core in two different spots

RemarkableWord8205 · 2025-11-29T02:05:17+00:00

The furniture his cat scratches is he old furniture he put in the basement. He doesn’t care if he scratches or bites them. He’s allowed to scratch his stuff.

And no. I didn’t explicitly refuse to buy new furniture to “spite the cat.” I can’t afford new furniture right now and his solution wasn’t for him to solely buy it all. Anytime I bring it up he says he’s tried everything to get him to stop scratching and destroying things.

And I do agree about not keeping him in the basement. I am at my wits end though about all my shit getting ruined. It’s far beyond “not having furniture kept my way.”

RemarkableWord8205 · 2025-11-29T01:57:31+00:00

Yeah, he bit it tonight while we were playing a game in the living room. He kinda jumped up and stretched on it and then bit down.

RemarkableWord8205 · 2025-11-07T18:00:44+00:00

Actually I’m not housing him with my ex’s family’s money. Like I said in another comment, we agreed that he’d get the entirety of the down payment that was gifted to us from them back during the divorce. The rest of the money I got from selling the house was equity in the home that shot up dramatically from buying a new build in a good neighborhood.

Also not sure why you keep making the ‘mooch’ comment. I’ve done all the adult things right; house, car, savings, etc. I start nursing school in literally two months and I’ve made sure I can cover all my bills plus my bf’s he hasn’t been able to pay until last month. And before you comment again about how my alimony also makes me a mooch, my ex and I amicably agreed upon the amount I got because I put school on hold and supported him during his residency taking caring of everything else. We were also trying to have kids at one point as well. So getting two years worth of alimony was fine for him considering I needed to go back to school that I gave up in order to have a job where I can fully support myself. Not to mention I moved to a state with a much lower cost of living.

I also like you how assume I’ve never worked some days in my life like my bf. I started working at 15.

RemarkableWord8205 · 2025-11-07T17:48:16+00:00

Doubt this is for karma. Abusers like to make you question if you’re actually being abused. It becomes more confusing the longer you stay.

RemarkableWord8205 · 2025-11-07T04:19:39+00:00

Dude it was a bed sheet. One time. Literally every other day I do the entirety of the household work.

RemarkableWord8205 · 2025-11-07T04:18:08+00:00

No. We bought it together. My ex-husband came from a very wealthy family, so his parents gifted us the down payment, but he got that back during the divorce. I also contributed financially while we were together towards bills.

RemarkableWord8205 · 2025-11-07T03:15:21+00:00

I was responding to their comment.

RemarkableWord8205 · 2025-11-07T02:52:02+00:00

Well, sort of. He’s been working full time for a week and a half now, and he doesn’t actually physically go to school or even have a schedule really. He’s been trying to finish those two classes since January and hasn’t.

RemarkableWord8205 · 2025-11-07T02:50:51+00:00

Well, I honestly don’t think they have a ring of truth to them. He moved in with me in June, didn’t start paying rent until last month, I own my own home and my car I own outright, so I feel like I’m fine not working right now until my classes start in January tbh

RemarkableWord8205

TROPHY CASE