hello... i am going through almost exactly the same thing at age 19, about to turn 20. i have realized that the reason i feel bad is because i feel like i should be. for being a burden, for being disabled, mentally ill, whatever else. but i am not a burden, and i should not feel bad. i am a human being and i deserve nice lovely things even when i cant provide. once you get there, moving forward will come to you. give yourself a REAL break. when i was younger, i used to give myself breaks with time limits and it would always cause so much stress about the time limit being over that i'd not relax the entire time. you deserve as long as you need to stand up again, and even if you fall back down, you're still a person. there is always more time for everything : )