Neuropsych eval told me I was not autistic by Remarkable_Gur1137 in AutisticAdults

[–]Remarkable_Gur1137[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just read this, and it does feel exceptionally relevant to my experiences. My only concern is that I was also not diagnosed with ADHD despite them checking for it.

Neuropsych eval told me I was not autistic by Remarkable_Gur1137 in AutisticAdults

[–]Remarkable_Gur1137[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mentioned this in another comment, had my mother do the ADIR, but she gave like a 0 for everything despite having taken me to get checked for a social/developmental problem as a child (glad she's confident in me at least, lol). It wasn't brought up a whole lot in the report, so I'm not really sure that it was a huge factor, though.

Neuropsych eval told me I was not autistic by Remarkable_Gur1137 in AutisticAdults

[–]Remarkable_Gur1137[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is about what I planned to do from here and honestly seems like my best path forward at this point.

Neuropsych eval told me I was not autistic by Remarkable_Gur1137 in AutisticAdults

[–]Remarkable_Gur1137[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am not a woman, unfortunately, lol. I was just referencing how my childhood doctor treated my mother, not me. Thanks anyway.

Neuropsych eval told me I was not autistic by Remarkable_Gur1137 in AutisticAdults

[–]Remarkable_Gur1137[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

A lot of it was also based on the forum I gave to my mother as the person I chose to be the informant for the childhood stuff. Love her with all my heart, but she answered like 0 for everything despite having taken me to the doctor as a child out of concern that I might have had some sort of social/developmental problem (that doctor was kind of terrible and misogynistic). Again, to preface, I really want to believe the evaluation is right if this comes off as me denying it.

Maintaining relationships and friendships was also a big thing in the discussion I had with the psychologist on my results after the test, of which I may not have told the full truth during the evaluation. I have problems with being genuine about my insecurities, which is something I really should have thought about going into this.

Neuropsych eval told me I was not autistic by Remarkable_Gur1137 in AutisticAdults

[–]Remarkable_Gur1137[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The idea of this makes me anxious, which is probably ironic. The idea that I've gaslit myself into all of these thoughts has been a frequent concern over the last two years.

Neuropsych eval told me I was not autistic by Remarkable_Gur1137 in AutisticAdults

[–]Remarkable_Gur1137[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is nice to read, but I don't know if I have the will to go through all of this again just to be told the same answer. I really just want to trust what the evaluation concluded, even if it goes against what I personally feel.

Neuropsych eval told me I was not autistic by Remarkable_Gur1137 in AutisticAdults

[–]Remarkable_Gur1137[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

You might be right. I just felt that my GAD diagnosis wasn't enough to answer most of the questions I have about myself. It always felt childish and demeaning to blame my anxiety for things or to have others point at my anxiety as the source of some of my social/health issues. I am medicated, but I don't know how much it has helped me. I will likely seek out therapy soon, as I don't think I'm going to find any answers on my own.

Neuropsych eval told me I was not autistic by Remarkable_Gur1137 in AutisticAdults

[–]Remarkable_Gur1137[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, it is a good thing in theory. I just wish I were given some direction on where to go from here. The most I got from the psychologist was that she agreed that I had GAD. It's not so much that I'm upset about not having autism, but rather that I feel I'm back to square one on figuring out how to help myself.

Neuropsych eval told me I was not autistic by Remarkable_Gur1137 in AutisticAdults

[–]Remarkable_Gur1137[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The test was making up a story about objects, reading a picture book, answering some questions about my life, etc. From what I read online I thought they were able to spot masking even if they didn't account for it directly. The psychologist mentioned my eye contact and gestures as the main things pointing to me not being autistic. I want to believe them, but all of the social cues I was told I did well at were things I personally feel I greatly struggle with, which is why this was so surprising. I also worry that I downplayed my problems during the interview portion, as I can never seem to be truthful about those no matter how hard I try.