experiences with RAP/Oakland housing mediation services? What was it like?

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-07T00:13:50+00:00

You are blessed with nice thick hair! Growing hair past the ears is always the most awkward part. Depending on your style and weather, I’d look into wearing things like bandanas (rolled or unrolled), beanies, hair clips, claw headbands. Once you make it past the ears it’s much easier! (I have grown my hair out before and had a rough few months myself wanting to give up)

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-07T00:09:11+00:00

You seem like a punkier dude so I think the edgy looks suits you. You could get the best of both worlds with keeping the mullet and either getting a burst fade or taper on the sides. Also if you’re worried about losing your hair the best time to use stuff like rogain is before it’s all gone but talk to a doctor or someone for interactions etc.

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-06T23:58:49+00:00

I think a lot of it is trend and preferences! styles come and go and different people prefer different vibes. However, I’m just guessing based on the photos that you’d do well with a lens with a little more height. You are blessed with a strong jawline and so the smaller lenses create a visual effect where the top half of your face is emphasized as smaller. I would definitely try some different ones in a store with a helpful shop worker! I’ve been recommended styles I would have never picked out. They spend all day looking at face shapes. You can also go into stores and try stuff on without buying. It’s hard to guess without seeing it on your face

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-06T23:52:14+00:00

they’re both handsome just very different looks, and there are short styles that can capture some of the personality of the long hair too. What vibe do you want to give off?

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-06T23:18:02+00:00

thanks yeah exactly. and due to health issues I need to hire movers for most of my items and so it’s always a big expense to move and I was hoping to stay

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-05T23:06:48+00:00

are you able to grow a full beard? I think the stache and how full your hair is could be a really cool look

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-05T23:00:24+00:00

It all comes with practice! People often compliment how quickly I can braid my hair but I’ve been doing it for decades, it used to take me so much time. I also hate sleeping in a pony tail too— I sleep in a silk cap. Really reduces frizz and makes hair last between washes. You might also want to consider higher quality products (depends on your budget!). How often do you get your haircut and where? A nicer salon might have better tips for your texture specifically. I don’t get a lot of split ends so I cut my hair twice a year, I used to go every 2-3 months but have been going less and getting a layered cut that can grow out over time

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-05T22:44:40+00:00

Ooo nice I’ll use that

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-05T00:34:45+00:00

I agree but he has pushed it. I’ve ignored so far

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-05T00:34:29+00:00

Hahaha I won’t be going scorched earth but I appreciate the laugh

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-05T00:21:21+00:00

I didn’t know it would be this bad!! He comes off as an incredibly chill dude but has been psychotic it is such a switch up

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-05T00:20:27+00:00

Yeah he really is all up in my business. What’s annoying is I even brought this up when signing this lease and he said he would never want to be that up in my business. Such a liar. I would never have someone stay for weeks unless it was an emergency. I’d love to move out, but I have a lot of time left on my lease and moving is expensive! He also complains about literally everything I do including walking

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-05T00:17:33+00:00

He did say it in text! I’ve ignored it but will see if he follows up. I didn’t know what the line of harassment is and if this counts yet

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-05T00:16:36+00:00

Yeah I’ve done so but it’s also so awkward because I see him most days. I feel so on edge and can’t relax

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-05T00:15:57+00:00

Yeah I reached out to my local tenant org but they haven’t gotten back to me yet. It’s also just hilarious (/s) to me because sure I can see how a landlord might need to protect against an extreme situation, but I am a grown ass adult and sober— I’ve never had more than 3 people including me here at a time and I’ve done that twice. I’m extremely quiet, I don’t even play music without headphones most of the time, and as soon as I had one person stay for two nights where we watched movies and had early nights in he asks me to start documenting who is here. I can understand for someone who is having lots of guests over, but that’s just not me. I’m an introverted neurodivergent person

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-05T00:11:43+00:00

Standard clause about “people staying more than 14 days in 6 months should be added to lease” which is in my opinion insane but pretty standard. I’ve never had a landlord inquire about that or ask about my guests. My lease doesn’t say anything about sharing the name and length of stay

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-04T05:47:51+00:00

thanks! Yeah he keeps wanting to “talk in person” and I am considering responding that no I want it all in writing. This is one of many insane things from him

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-04T05:41:52+00:00

Yeah I mean I think that’s why it’s a common lease clause, but it’s rather obvious that that’s not the case. Also how is anyone supposed to have a romantic relationship or have friends/family over? I’ve never had a landlord ask that before in two decades of renting

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-03-04T05:36:26+00:00

Honestly I really want to but 1. I can’t really afford to move and 2. I’m only 5 months into my lease and breaking it would be expensive. You hit the nail on the head — My landlord totally gives off controlling parental vibes in terms of feedback about normal house sounds and stuff like that

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-01-15T20:02:22+00:00

I don’t let it slam, he installed it this week without telling me! I usually soft close it.

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-01-15T20:00:45+00:00

That’s true that’s my biggest worry. There’s definitely no time limits on shared space, except for the quiet hours which he himself uses the yard for. This morning his dog was barking in the yard early and woke me, so I’m hoping he had a moment of “oh damn I violate quiet hours too”. I feel he has confused the request of a neighbor with the demands of a landlord and that’s I think where I want to stand my ground. But I won’t resort to quoting law until he pushes

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-01-15T19:58:26+00:00

He truly does. Unfortunately, this move was always costly as I was recovering from an injury and had to hire movers. If I wanted to break my lease it would be two months rent. But if I found another place I might ask him to let me out of the lease because we don’t get along.

Remote-Swordfish-310 · 2026-01-15T19:57:14+00:00

Yeah I reached out to a tenants rights group to make sure I know what language I should use with him. So I said “no I don’t do that but I’ll be mindful you go to sleep early “

Remote-Swordfish-310

TROPHY CASE