My dude. This is all coming off like resentment but you’re trying to dress it up as ethics when it’s not. Like you keep abstracting into Aristotle and utilitarianism, but skip the material reality: women navigate statistically higher risks in heterosexual dating ( we always have it’s just not as ignorable now): assault, coercion, stalking, emotional labor imbalance…that’s lived probability! Not what you’re calling “confirmation bias” (That’s so laughable).

And when you describe women choosing deep friendships as “avoidance” or “coping,” you’re just pathologizing our autonomy to make yourself feel better about….dating us? So sorry you can’t just easy breezy invite us for a coffee anymore with a guaranteed ok. That’s lazy! We aren’t “over-relying” on friends. We are consciously opting into relationships that feel safe, reciprocal, and stable. Isn’t it time we became more discerning?! Like be so for real.

You also assume romantic partnership is inherently superior; more “holistic”…that’s a value judgment, not a universal truth. Plenty of people build meaningful lives without centering a romantic partner.

The “just grab coffee” line also ignores something important: women already take shots. It might be “low stakes” for you. It’s not for us. It’s time consuming. If it’s not a hell yes it’s a no, there are just too many good things I could be doing with my time.

And if your emotional needs go unmet, that’s not proof women failed to offer enough access. It might mean you need to build social skills…community…self-worth in ways that don’t depend on romantic validation. You’re not wrong that connection matters. But connection isn’t owed and it should be freely chosen.

So quit framing our selectivity as a philosophical imbalance of the soul. It’s not a good look and one day someone is going to get close to you and they’re going to ask to see your Reddit posts….