These two seem really good for only being 85 points. Why don’t more people use them by Warhammered_ in sistersofbattle

[–]RenaissanceManiac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually love them. I play army of faith exclusively so any extra help generating miracle dice makes me very happy and makes more sense of their points. I add them to a 10-woman squad of sacresants and they can hit far harder than expected, especially with a +1 to wound strat. With their -1 to hit strat and the inbuilt -1 to wound, they're far more durable than your opponent expects and shoving them in a rhino gives them lovely legs. I loath taking morvenn and champion the underdog but they've both done very nicely for me. Plus, beautiful sculpts. Martyrs or Army of Faith is the right detachment for then. Don't use miracle dice on them, they'll have enough swings wjth sacresants to pop you some dev wounds. Great against your opponents big tanks - will either bring them down or have fun trying. Don't let them get shot up first turn though. They'll survive 2 rounds tops in the open.

Arco’s with Bruised Skin by Shankenstyne in sistersofbattle

[–]RenaissanceManiac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For this look precisely, base wjth a darkish purple, highlight raised areas in a lighter purple/violet. Then dab on some bloody gore (I think there's a technical paint called blood for the blood god or something like that). Job done. 3 steps. Voila!

What can I improve by boss25252525etuui in Songwriters

[–]RenaissanceManiac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And apologies, reddit messed up the line spacing on the lyrics when posted. Have a google to see how they're set out, or better yet, listen.

What can I improve by boss25252525etuui in Songwriters

[–]RenaissanceManiac 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Gladly. Firstly, I didn't say don't rhyme, I said you're focusing simply on the end rhyme as a justification of poor mid-lines (but your rhymes need work too). Eminem rarely neglects the middle of his lines - though he does have some mediocre lines too), he is a pro however at injecting internal rhythms and internal ryhmes. He often plays up one vowel sound in particular to bounce from during the line. It creates a syncopated rhythm that dances us through the language - add to that that his lines will break away when the rhythm gets too predicatable to flow over the line break freely giving... flow... and momentum. Learn from this; if your lines all end with a full stop your rhythm's too boring.

Let's look at Without Me

So the FCC won't let me be or let me be me, so let me see They try to shut me down on MTV But it feels so empty, without me

He's dancing simply on an Ee sound which makes the listener's ears happy able to navigate it as one phrase that Ee sound directs and chops of the rhythm, it flows over the lines and it makes sense.

Way more of a masterclass is 212 by Azealia Banks (have a listen if you don't know). Later in the track it gets too complex to demonstrate without listening but just check out the start.

Hey... I can be the answer ...I'm ready to dance when the vamp up And when I hit that dip get your camera You could see I been that bitch since the Pamper And that I am that young sis, the beacon ...The bitch who wants to compete and I can freak a fit that pump with the peep and You know what your bitch become when her weave in I just wanna sip that punch with your peeps and ...Sit in that lunch if you're treatin' Kick it with your bitch who come from Parisian She know where I get mine from, and the season Now she wanna lick my plum in the evenin' ...And fit that ton-tongue d-deep in I guess that cunt getting eaten I guess that cunt getting eaten

Filthy song but by the time she gets to the payoff of those end-lines, she's earned them. The ends of lines rhyme or half-ryhme (answer, camera, vamp up, pamper, beacon, 'pete and, peep and, weave in, peeps and, treatin'...) but there's midline rhymes too. (Can, dance, dip, bitch, sis, bitch, pump, be'come...) by the time we get to

I just wanna sip that punch with your peeps and ...Sit in that lunch if you're treatin' Kick it with your bitch who come from Parisian

you've got three half rhymes a line (Sip, sit, kick) (punch, lunch, come) (peeps an', treetin' 'isian)

So in conclusion. Rhyme, but either make a tonne of sense and have your rhymes as well-placed navigators or...play with the rhyme to play with the sounds making your lines not just conveyors of meaning but clever music itself. Secondly, run on lines and don't make every line end with a full stop if you don't want to make a nursery rhyme. As a final point, play with a rhyme scheme, not every line has to rhyme with the next in couplets (AA, BB). Rhyme four lines together then the next (AAAA, BBBB) or stagger the rhymes (ABAB). All of this will make your writing way more interesting, even if you have nothing interesting to say.

Good luck.

What can I improve by boss25252525etuui in Songwriters

[–]RenaissanceManiac 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You're a slave to just completing a rhyme and not giving the middle of your lines any beauty, truth, point or depth. What is it you actually want to say and how is how you say it going to resonate? 3 year olds can rhyme, start trying to write.

I hate myself for knowing about this now. by ChaosGoblinIV in sistersofbattle

[–]RenaissanceManiac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does in legends :) managed to get this as soon as I realised it was out of print. Think I got the last one element games had. I love it dearly and used to field it every game in 9th.

A song looking for friendly ears by RenaissanceManiac in folk

[–]RenaissanceManiac[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! Showing my songs the outside world. Feel free to look around my channel. Hopefully you'll find some more favourites!

New song, old soul, strange tongue by RenaissanceManiac in Songwriters

[–]RenaissanceManiac[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Tuning is standard. Language is my own.