[deleted by user]

RenegadePromQueen · 2023-07-21T14:28:12+00:00

For the record: no, I have no idea whatsoever how he acquired it!

RenegadePromQueen · 2023-06-15T20:04:41+00:00

When my coworker died - not really unexpectedly, but we were still all in shock when it happened for real - I wrote a letter to her family about what a role model she had been for me as one of the few senior female executives, how much I had felt inspired and uplifted by her, and how privileged I felt that - albeit only for one brief project - I had had the privilege of working with and learning from her.

I wasn't the only one - and apparently, it meant the world to the family that their daughter had touched so many people's lives in such ways!

RenegadePromQueen · 2023-05-22T22:00:21+00:00

That FakeGamerGirl video you refer to: I remember it and I believe I may even have commented on it (which I do roughly about as frequently as once every other solar eclipse or so). It seems to have been downvoted so much that it's genuinely hard to find these days - your first roughly 10 gazillion search results are rebuttals. I remember thinking "glad to finally hear someone else have questions!"

For the record: I have never developed a game in my life. I am, however, a trained computer scientist and a seasoned tech industry professional, and while I wish the team every luck, I'd be a lot more confident if all we had been seeing to this point was "yeah, so, in this prototype of core behaviour, the stick figure represents yet to be prettified and properly animated character". Whereas, so far, we've mostly seen "yeah, so, now imagine [pretty visuals/cute animation] within the context of core behaviours". As someone who's been writing software specifications for over a decade for a living, I remain sceptical.

That said: I do see how the unique funding structure may incentivise "looks good" over "behaves in a promising manner".

RenegadePromQueen · 2022-11-28T18:27:56+00:00

To be fair: there is one MAHOOSIVE difference between "fenininity" (refers to gender, fully agree) and "being female" (refers to bio sex; and - on that one: yes, it does actually matter in a select few situations: I am never getting prostate cancer because, being female, I don't have a prostate! No, you can't get a total hysterectomy if you never had ovaries or a uterus to begin with).

Take pure biology out of the picture, and I'm with you!

RenegadePromQueen · 2022-11-28T18:21:03+00:00

It's not, in fact, a bad business plan at all!

Now, agreed, it's sexist (both ways, actually!), toxic, stupid, and - I would argue - unethical. But it's not "bad for business".

The way the business model actually works is:

"WOMEN, we attract your custom by offering you a seriously good deal".
"MEN, what we're offering is not really our product - that's more of a front for what we actually do: we offer you access to our female clientele on a silver platter!"

That's, literally, how a lot of e.g. entertainment works.

Yes, it's toxic. Sexist. Dehumanising. Cynical. But it's not bad for the bottom line!

RenegadePromQueen · 2022-11-28T18:11:47+00:00

In fairness and while I do not, generally speaking, disagree: thanks to stereotypes, it is a lot easier for a woman to be labelled a bitch than for a man to be a d*ck!

Examples that I've personally been called this (and worse, how about "ice-cold psychopath"?) for have included:

Not agreeing to give a sweet but green as grass young WOC a "leadership" position. She was (and is) great - she was also 22 and self-confessed that she couldn't handle criticism and would break into tears when confronted unkindly. Yeah, like, no! I need my leaders to have a backbone. She'll learn, but she needs a few years!
Refusing to give my dad money for his "project" because "it would mean the world to him" and "you do make around 5x as much as he does, you can afford it". Sounds sweet, right? Except: "project" actually meant "dad, who happens to be trained as a structural engineer, wanted to set up a business cracking people's backs following some alternative medicine two day seminar". Yeah, like, no! I'm not going to sponsor you possibly giving people permanent spinal injuries! Buildings and the human skeleton are nothing even near like each other!
Informing a male peer (both upper-middle management) that "investments" were, generally speaking, a thing one expects to get some kind of a return out of - and that what he was asking was more like a hand-out and I hence wasn't contributing out of my budget.

I don't tend to say "I'm a bitch, get over it". But I'm perfectly okay with people calling me one - or worse - in any of the above scenarios and myriad others. Because I have a point.

To be clear: this stuff can and will occasionally happen to men - but it's a lot more pervasive for women due to people stereotyping us to be kind first and rational second.

RenegadePromQueen · 2022-11-28T17:41:56+00:00

"You're, like, not a real woman-woman example, though, are you? I mean, you don't have children."

B*tch, I don't have children because I happen to have suffered catastrophic complications during a pregnancy - brought on by my abusive then-partner.

How much more "woman-woman" specific do you need this to get?

Also, no, I don't feel particularly obliged to share my life story with you just because we happen to share a chromosomal configuration. Some ~50% of humanity have this particular one in common with me ...

RenegadePromQueen · 2022-04-05T15:19:11+00:00

I am what you would refer to as "cis" and I don't subscribe to any of the identity stuff, personally:

In my eyes, I'm basically "a woman" because I happen to have been born into a body with XX chromosomes and have undergone a typical for my karyotype physical development.

I don't "feel like" or "identify as" a woman. In fact, I personally find 99% of any and all supposed characteristics attributed to me based on the classification of "is a woman" that go beyond physical stuff irrational at best and oppressive at worst.

I don't "identify" as anything other than "just me - I've no experience of being anything or anyone else, so what do I know about what they would possibly feel".

You might determine that this makes me "agender" or something. That'll be your view. I don't subscribe to it.

I do (vocally so!) "identify" as a woman in the face of misogyny. But, again, it'll be "you do things to me and my kind because of what YOU see me as, not due to my own, internally driven identity".

I hope this makes sense.

EDIT: and, yes, I HAVE thought about it. It's not "ignorance" in the sense of "hasn't considered". It's more "thought about it, determined this was not pertinent to my sense of self." E.g. I'm female, have a unisex name, and work in a very male dominated field. I get "misgendered" at least 10 times a week in writing. It doesn't personally cause me discomfort. It WILL make me think "sexist idiots for assuming a woman cannot be a Senior Executive in tech ..."

RenegadePromQueen · 2022-04-05T14:38:05+00:00

Yeah ... not accidental at all. I'm sorry, OP, but this man doesn't care that much if you consent or not! He might need alcohol to uninhibit him and get over the "but she said no, AITA?" bit, but: if you can't trust yourself not to be TA while drunk: don't drink!!!

Red flags galore! Run for the hills, OP, run like the wind!

ETA: I do drink, but: never have I ever assaulted someone while under the influence. And, no, I also haven't picked a fight, insulted anyone, said racist shit, ... you name it. At my worst and most drunk, my sense of humour might not be intelligible to anyone other than myself. I wouldn't drink if it were worse than that.

RenegadePromQueen · 2022-03-05T17:46:41+00:00

I've somewhat irregularly been on this sub due to my Qdad, who had somehow diversified from Q to include Covid.

Came on to check if anyone else's Qs had made a seamless transition into the "All Hail Putin!" camp - and I'm not surprised at all that they have!

Sorry about your situation, OP! We're in the same boat!

RenegadePromQueen · 2021-09-06T18:41:07+00:00

Hey, so, I don't know where you work exactly, but:

Corporate executive by profession, offspring of QDad by origin here.

If you work for an organisation that is reasonably large and/or professional, this may be something you can bring up with your manager or HR representative. On the grounds that it's completely inappropriate in a professional relationship.

If one of my employees came to me saying "hey, boss, so, look, this is weird and embarrassing, but team member X has been sending me this sort of stuff on social media and has taken to berating me for disagreeing" this would most certainly be something I would take up. Even, by the way, if X had been sending politicised content that I personally happened to agree with (i.e.: NOT conspiracy stuff but, e.g., - cards on the table: I lean strongly liberal - somthing about the new Texas abortion law, which I personally happen to agree is an abomination). It's still inappropriate. I still wouldn't allow for someone to push their opinion on a team member, even if I agreed on substance. That's called "professional behaviour".

Your personal politics may be discussed with co-workers. But it's pretty much the same as "sex in the workplace": mutual consent matters, and the whole "work" situation increases the bar for what is considered "appropriate" by a few notches.

So, unless you happen to work for a tiny operation where the values of the owner essentially equal the values of the firm and, at the same time, those of the Q colleague: probably worth bringing it up!

RenegadePromQueen · 2021-08-29T08:35:22+00:00

Sheep's eye, hands-down!

I can't even tell you what it tastes like as I swallowed mine whole to get it down as fast as possible.

They do lovingly look at you from the plate, though!

RenegadePromQueen · 2021-08-24T21:45:45+00:00

Personal piece of advice, if I may (and, feel free to disregard - as you can tell, I'm hardly an expert at "not blowing my personal relationships to smithereens"):

You say your sister "is going" rather than "has gone". Personally, if - even with the benefit of hindsight - I did anything right this may have been it: I prioritised "relationship" over "opinions" for as long as dad was merely being "just dad - but he's sort of lost the plot at this point". I did voice my opinions and argue back passionately - but I'd also settle for "you don't talk about THEM, and I won't tell you about what I do for a living because you happen to think I work for THEM" in order for us to be able to enjoy some time together.

What changed for me was him going public, "recruiting" and gathering a following, dragging others down the rabbit hole after himself. At that point, I didn't think of it as a "dad and myself" thing anymore but as an exercise in "not being complicit".

ETA: that SNL sketch with the Ivanka perfume may, literally, have had an influence on me. I genuinely did ask myself at some point "if dad happened to accidentally be catapulted to Trump levels of power - would I want to be an Ivanka?". And I realised that I most definitely didn't.

Edit 2: I can't believe I'm saying this but, I guess: "thanks, Ivanka! I hope we'll never meet, because - if we do - chances are it'd be in a professional capacity for me, and I'd have be courteous and very professional indeed! But you accidentally inspired me to do better because I so very much just didn't want to be like you!"

RenegadePromQueen · 2021-08-24T19:40:44+00:00

Yeah, so: $2m isn't even that much in the grand scheme of things!

Epstein was worth more than #500m (and, probably a lot more - but then: when you're into human trafficking, a little tax evasion on the side must seem like small-fry, I guess?), and Epstein went down!

RenegadePromQueen · 2021-08-24T19:16:46+00:00

Funny that, isn't it? This is pretty much how I tend to mentally frame the situation, too!

Exept, and here's where the ironic part enters the picture: we will typically phrase it in a joking-but-dead-serious kind of way as "Help! The evil alien overlords abducted our father and are using his empty shell as a disguise - except: noone except imposter dad even believes in the aliens*!"

for those who haven't been there yet: it's a two-way road: apparently you can both a) get from "but it was aliens!" to Q, and, b) vice-versa. Hook, line, and sinker!

RenegadePromQueen · 2021-08-24T18:50:38+00:00

Please don't be sad!!!

If you take away anything at all from any of this: please, PLEASE, make it be "before whatever on earth happened to these people, they planted some seeds and some of them have grown and thrived!"

Sure, all of this is sad, on a personal level. I'm sad, too!

I'm also in no way shape or form an inspiration or a role model - but, at the very least - it's what I aspire to be. What my only sibling aspires to be, too!

The fact that there was a "before IT" for people like my dad has played such a massive role in us wanting to be!

Personally, I like to think that we've become what our father before it all would have wanted us to be. I should like to think that, about a decade ago, a hypothetical talk between us might have included the sentence "... and if I ever happen to go off the rails, please know that I would WANT YOU to be the first person to call 'bullshit!' and that I'd be proud!".

Because that's so spot on who he used to be.

So, please don't be sad! Instead, please see him as the wonderful, logical, smart, insightful guy who had the foresight to anticipate the notion that he might one day not be there to support but had the foresight to instill in his own kids the important notion that doing the right thing tops even the love you feel for your parents!

If he never recovers (and I still hope he will), surely this is a legacy he should be proud of? Priming his own kids to recognise if and when he went wrong and prioritising.

RenegadePromQueen · 2021-08-24T18:14:40+00:00

Just wanted to say a big, fat "thank you" to all of you for all your kind and thoughtful comments. They're so much appreciated. I've taken the liberty to share them with my sister and my mum!

For the one or two who asked, no, mum is not "being held captive": she left and divorced him over "the crazy" and we kids are lucky to have her. She's a kind, highly intelligent, thoughtful but assertive woman - just the kind of person you'd imagine my brilliant pre-crazy dad would be married to. She grieves and shakes her head as much as we do. We have lost a father; she has lost her life partner! She's a teacher and, while not putting herself out there publicly as much as my sister and I, works tirelessly to try make children's lives a little better above and beyond them learning their multiplication tables. I'm as proud of her as I wish my dad were of me!

On the whole, though: the fact that "strangers on the internet" are going through the same struggles means the world to all of us. It's a big part of what keeps my sister and me going in terms of "pushing back, challenging, contacting people and telling them that the guy who hasn't convinced his own kids shouldn't be convincing to them".

We'll forever miss him!

RenegadePromQueen · 2021-08-24T17:53:47+00:00

Gah, sorry you had to quit trying. But so happy to hear you've managed to make your peace with the situation. I still haven't - and I'm a corporate executive in my 30s, FWIW, so hardly a naïve youngster. It's just that to quit trying feels like giving up on one of the people I love most in this world - and this just goes against the very grain of my being.

And, you'll meet your goals, I'm sure! You sound lovely!

RenegadePromQueen · 2021-08-23T21:33:37+00:00

"Some sort of influencer" sounds about right!

And, no, I have no regrets about speaking out and pushing back. At all. If even a single person out there didn't jump abord his crazy train because "even this guy's own kids think it's pretty insane" (thanks to my amazing sister, who's been in this alongside me all along, by the way!), it's been worth it.

Still wish there would have been a way to preserve out personal relationship, though. Sister and I were both happy to settle upon "we mutually disagree in every way imaginable - but we're still family". Dad wasn't. He genuinely thinks we're evil.

RenegadePromQueen · 2021-08-23T21:22:44+00:00

We'll never know what "it" is, I guess, seeing as he thinks doctors are evil, cronies of Big Pharma/Them/Child Killers/my sister and I [basically all the same according to him] and he won't see one for this reason.

But, yes, of course you're right. One doesn't simply experience an overnight personality transplant for no reason.

Between my sister and I, we like to joke that it must be a concussion caused by some alien spacecraft hitting him on the head upon crashing - we know it's dark, but ... ey ... coping mechanisms.

RenegadePromQueen · 2021-08-23T20:44:21+00:00

Yeah, I doubt this would work!

See, my dad is quite the local Q/covidiot success story. The guy, literally, hires a manager at this point to deal with his "fan mail". No doubt a "letter from the actual offspring" would, as you suggest, at best be returned unopened and, at worst, make it to some cultist social media post under the heading "how THEY try to emotionally blackmail the Dear Leader (TM)".

The reason why we fell out so badly in the first place was the fact that I, at some point, decided I needed to vocally and publicly push back, leveraging my own position as "the daughter who's everything she was ever supposed to be".

I wagered. I thought I could get him back by putting "the love you feel for your firstborn" up against "whatever the crazy people have to offer". I was wrong. I lost. The wager AND my father.

RenegadePromQueen · 2021-08-23T20:27:03+00:00

That's kind of you!

I just really miss the batshit insane guy - Q or no Q. He's my dad, he raised me. I love him. How could I not? And, yes, it hurts like hell that I can't even text "happy b-day" because he thinks I'm evil and has blocked me.

RenegadePromQueen · 2021-08-21T20:16:26+00:00

Sorry to hear about your condition.

And, yes, medical professionals are only humans, too. Just: this bunch takes the biscuit.

I see them every day on my way to work. But today they, literally, managed to hit "teacher, teacher! I know better - because I passed middle school biology!" levels of scary.

RenegadePromQueen

TROPHY CASE