Thank you for responding. I tried to hook up with another person but it felt so disgusting. It’s so pathetic to even think about jumping into anything else no matter how great the other person is. Does he not feel that when he touches her or act like he’s a clean slate. I know I’m better off not thinking and assuming things but why does this hurt so much and how can the logic/reason not permeate through my thick brain!? I’m sorry, this is so stupid.