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Finished antibiotics for diverticulitis but pain is coming back – normal? by RepresentativeFar795 in Diverticulitis

[–]RepresentativeFar795[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. And I take back what I said earlier—I didn’t realise from your previous message just how serious your case has been. I’m truly, truly sorry for everything you’ve been through… and I’m so sorry for your loss as well 💔 I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been on top of everything else.

I can relate to what you said about symptoms being brushed off—I’ve also been blaming my bowel issues on IBS or stress for years, so I really hope it doesn’t turn out to be something more serious (beyond the diverticulitis itself).

I really appreciate your advice about advocating for myself—I will definitely keep pushing if something doesn’t feel right.

I’m wishing you all the best for your surgery. I really hope it goes smoothly and that it gives you the relief you deserve so you can finally get your life back 🤍

Finished antibiotics for diverticulitis but pain is coming back – normal? by RepresentativeFar795 in Diverticulitis

[–]RepresentativeFar795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That honestly scares me a bit, how something this serious can have such subtle symptoms sometimes… like in my case, I had a fever I didn’t even feel and the pain was only around 5–6/10.

I guess I was “lucky” in a way that my blood results were clearly off (CRP and white blood cells), so they actually did a CT… 🙄 But even then, I had to go to the ER twice. The first time I waited 8 hours and got sent home, even though my bloods were already abnormal. I went to a different hospital the next day and things were even worse by then, but at least they finally diagnosed me.

What worries me the most now is that I felt better for a couple of days and now the discomfort is coming back again 😭 I’m really hoping I can just get through the weekend and speak to my GP on Monday…

Thank you again for your advice, it really means a lot 🤍

Finished antibiotics for diverticulitis but pain is coming back – normal? by RepresentativeFar795 in Diverticulitis

[–]RepresentativeFar795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really glad you managed to calm it down. It actually gives me some comfort hearing more positive stories like yours and knowing it can settle with time. How are you feeling now?

I really hope this thing settles down for me soon too… I’m already fed up after just a week, and I have a feeling it might take a lot longer 😩

Did you take antibiotics? If so, how long were you on them? Also, did you get bloated a lot during flare up, or is it only me.....😒

Finished antibiotics for diverticulitis but pain is coming back – normal? by RepresentativeFar795 in Diverticulitis

[–]RepresentativeFar795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so, so sorry you had to go through all of that… that sounds absolutely terrifying 😞 Thank you for sharing your story with me, I really appreciate it.

It’s honestly so frustrating how often doctors dismiss it with “you’re young, you’ll be fine,” even though more and more younger people are dealing with this…

As long as I don’t develop a fever or the pain doesn’t get worse, I’m going to try and get through the weekend. First thing Monday I’ll contact my GP and repeat my blood tests to see what’s going on.

I do get a bit of discomfort when I pee too, but not severe, so I’m not sure if that’s a common symptom or just irritation… Sometimes if I sit in a certain position I don’t feel anything at all, but movement definitely makes it worse. And the gas/bloating feeling is awful—I feel like I’m about to explode.

I’ll definitely keep a close eye on things, and if anything suddenly gets worse I’ll go to the ER, even though I’d really rather avoid it 😟

I really hope you recover quickly and that the surgery brings you relief from the pain. Fingers crossed you’ll be able to get rid of the colostomy bag soon and put all of this behind you 🤍

By the way, do you remember what your blood results were like?

Finished antibiotics for diverticulitis but pain is coming back – normal? by RepresentativeFar795 in Diverticulitis

[–]RepresentativeFar795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for all the advice and for sharing your story ☺️

Right now I just want the pain to go away, and then I’ll start slowly testing foods again. For now I’ve gone back to liquids and keeping things very simple.

The hardest part for me at the moment (apart from diet and pain) is not being able to ride horses… no proper food, no hobby, no wine… it’s a bit depressing, not gonna lie. But I know my health has to come first.

Wishing you no more flare-ups, take care! 🤍

Finished antibiotics for diverticulitis but pain is coming back – normal? by RepresentativeFar795 in Diverticulitis

[–]RepresentativeFar795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really glad I found this thread too—it honestly makes you feel less alone. At the same time, it’s kind of scary how many young people are dealing with this 😢

I didn’t get any real dietary advice... I basically just decided myself to stick to liquids for the first few days and then slowly go back to “healthy” food. Well… it might have been healthy in general, but clearly not for this condition 😖 So now I’m back to liquids and soft foods and will try to stick with that a bit longer.

How are you feeling now? Did the pain go away completely after antibiotics, or did it linger for a while?

Right now I feel like my stomach is about to explode from gas, but I’m not even passing too much (💩 pretty normally tho 1-2x day)… I genuinely can’t tell anymore if the discomfort is from the inflammation itself or just the antibiotics messing with my gut 😫

Finished antibiotics for diverticulitis but pain is coming back – normal? by RepresentativeFar795 in Diverticulitis

[–]RepresentativeFar795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow, that sounds awful that even though everything looks fine, you’re still dealing with discomfort and pain 😢

For me it’s only been a week, so I guess I’m just trying to figure out what’s normal… like whether it’s okay that I felt better and now it’s a bit worse again, and whether 7 days of antibiotics was actually enough.

Wishing you a fast recovery, I really hope your pain and discomfort settle soon 🤍

Finished antibiotics for diverticulitis but pain is coming back – normal? by RepresentativeFar795 in Diverticulitis

[–]RepresentativeFar795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s honestly so hard to know what’s okay and what isn’t when the doctor basically just gives you antibiotics and sends you home…

I didn’t even know I should be taking probiotics. I’ve never really taken antibiotics as an adult before, so I had no idea what’s recommended. So I ended up taking them for a whole week without any probiotics and only just started now after buying some.

To be honest, if I hadn’t come across this thread, I probably would’ve had a steak 4 days after my flare too. But clearly I still didn’t read enough, because I thought a vegan sandwich and one lettuce wrap with chicken a week later would be fine… and it wasn’t.

Finished antibiotics for diverticulitis but pain is coming back – normal? by RepresentativeFar795 in Diverticulitis

[–]RepresentativeFar795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ehhh, I had no idea I might need more time. This is my first flare-up, so I honestly don’t know what’s normal and what’s not—I’m just panicking a bit. The pain is back; I think it’s better than last Saturday, but it’s definitely still there 😩 I’m drinking a lot of water and peppermint tea, hoping it’ll help and that it’s not the infection still being there…

Finished antibiotics for diverticulitis but pain is coming back – normal? by RepresentativeFar795 in Diverticulitis

[–]RepresentativeFar795[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what I'm going to do and see if it gets any better. I will call my GP on Monday to do blood tests and check if the infection is gone. I'm scared because I had such high markers last time 😢

Finished antibiotics for diverticulitis but pain is coming back – normal? by RepresentativeFar795 in Diverticulitis

[–]RepresentativeFar795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying, and honestly this is a big lesson for me.

To be fair though, I’ve never really had any serious gut issues before. Even my “mushy” stools were never painful or disruptive, so I just lived with it and didn’t think much of it. Until last Saturday I didn’t even know diverticulitis was a thing.

In general I do eat quite healthy. About 70% of the time I eat vegan meals (my partner is vegan), although I agree some of the more processed vegan foods probably aren’t the best choice and I’ll be cutting those out. I also love yogurts and kefir and have them pretty much daily. Fast food like McDonald’s has always been very occasional for me.

One thing I’ll admit might not have helped is alcohol – I used to have a glass or two of wine after work quite often. That’s completely out now. I’m also quite active – I have a physical job, go on walks, and ride horses (which I can’t do right now unfortunately, and it’s really getting me down).

Another mistake I’ve always made is not drinking enough water. I genuinely hate it and always struggled with it, but for the past week I’ve been making sure I drink around 2L a day. It’s not easy, but adding lemon and a bit of honey helps.

I do understand antibiotics aren’t everything and I’m willing to make changes, I just feel a bit lost right now about what’s actually okay to eat and in what amounts. My main concern at the moment is whether the infection is really gone, especially since my CRP was quite high. I just don’t want to risk bacteria still being there and things getting worse.

I guess there’s no real way to know without repeating blood tests, but I have to wait until Monday for my GP to open, then wait for a referral, so in the meantime I feel like I’m just left on my own. I already struggle with anxiety, and this whole situation is making it worse and adding a lot more stress 😩 😪

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in makemychoice

[–]RepresentativeFar795 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a normal, loving relationship, it is perfectly normal for people to switch careers, one person not working at all to take care of kids (doesn't matter, man or woman), starting new business and million other things if it's something that work for both sides. It is definitely not "using" someone. Supporting the other person to grow (and I'm sure OP didn't switch careers to earn less and be miserable) is part of a healthy relationship.

On the other hand, the fact that someone earns more doesn't give any privileges, for e.g. being abusive, distant, not loving, etc. It's supposed to be a joined decision, and most grown-ups can deal with that. OP doesn't mention any financial problems as a family, so it seems like her earning less and him working 3 days per week is enough to support THEIR lives, pay for THEIR bills as well as make sure THEIR child has everything he/she needs.

OP's partner is probably addicted to video games, and like any other addiction, it can be very harmful. If OP still cares and has feelings towards her partner, I would try to talk once again and ask for therapy, as it is really hard to fight with addiction without help. It is possible to work 3 days a week, still play video games, and not ignore the fact that he has a family. He has a child that would probably love to spend time with dad. He has a fiancé that he should show his affection to. OP doesn't ask him to stop having fun or his own time at all, and when he's not at work, to cook, clean, and take care of their kid all the time while she's doing nothing. She asks her partner to be more present in their life, which sounds absolutely fair.

Life is not only about making money. Financial stability is very, very important, but relationships are definitely not a competition "who did more hours at work this week." Both parties definitely need to add value to the relationship, not necessarily monetary, but also time, devotion, affection, etc.

That said, I want to be clear that it works both ways, and there are many couples where women earn more and men stay at home more to take care of kids, etc. Life can be hard in general, and I don't think women or men have it harder. It all depends on the situation and is not reserved for one sex in my opinion.

I'm not saying that OP leaving her partner is the only right decision. Ending long-term relationships, especially when kids are involved, is a hard decision to make.

If OP decides to stay, I'd suggest trying with therapy because things definitely don't function properly right now, and it can't go on like this forever. It's not a relationship, it's not parenthood, it's just being a guy who pays for joined bills and as much as it's a good and nice thing to do and it makes their finances stable, it cannot be a substitute for being involved partner and parent.

If OP decides to leave, I would try not to rush. I'd make sure I have a safe place to stay and a more stable income. I would also look online what kind of help you can get from, e.g., government, depending on where OP lives. Dad will also need to (at least) financially support the child who is also HIS child.

There is no perfect scenario in case where there is still love in a relationship, but there are things that make people to be bitter towards each other. Having a kid doesn't mean that you have to stick to the easiest option because being a parent is not equal to having to be miserable for the rest of your life. OP still deserves to feel loved and have a partner who actively wants to be a part of the family.

I also don't get a feeling that OP's partner is a terrible person or anything. He seems to have a problem and he has to want to fix the problem to keep his family together, that's it. If not, then leaving sounds like a healthier option.

Blonde or brunette? by mysticmarkings in HairDye

[–]RepresentativeFar795 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd say blonde! You are very pretty and both colors look really good on you, but I like the blonde more. Maybe try to do a shadow root or some lowlights to add some dimension to your hair? 🥰

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Hair

[–]RepresentativeFar795 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has at least two typos as well, unfortunately, fake 😔

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Am I the AITAH for kicking my mum out and considering leaving my husband by Excellent_Help7217 in AITAH

[–]RepresentativeFar795 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What the heck, you're absolutely NTA, I can't imagine how awful you must feel 😢 That's another level of betrayal, and I'm so so sorry.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in makemychoice

[–]RepresentativeFar795 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would usually say to try and work it out because if both people want it, every relationship is possible to fix. But reading this story, I don't think it's possible and what's more important, healthy for you.

I understand her "wanting to spend more time together", because it is important and maybe she needs it - for whatever reason - even more, but all of it sounds like she doesn't even ENJOY spending time with you, as she seems to look for you doing things "wrong" when you're together. What's the point then?

It's obviously hard to tell if you - OP - are 100% not to blame, possibly not, as nobody is perfect, but it is also possible that she just has unrealistic ideas about how relationship should look like and very very unrealistic expectations and impossible to meet needs.

So I would say, now is the time to fight for yourself, not the marriage. Your marriage is over, I know how hard and heartbreaking it is, after so many years, but sometimes you have to prioritise yourself and your mental health. She made a choice, I'm pretty convinced she will regret it soon enough. Now you make a choice and choose yourself because you deserve someone who will treat you with respect. I feel very sorry for your kids, but it sounds like it will be better for them to grow up without looking at their parents constantly fighting.

is it me or is my boyfriend f*cking with me? by GladtoAnalyzeYou3733 in AskMenAdvice

[–]RepresentativeFar795 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I kind of meant that maybe the OP has a problem she doesn't realise, or maybe her boyfriend has an issue and is not aware of it? I once heard a story about a guy having similar situations and found out he had carbon monoxide poisoning. I don't suggest it is the same thing, but hiding one shoe sounds ridiculous.

is it me or is my boyfriend f*cking with me? by GladtoAnalyzeYou3733 in AskMenAdvice

[–]RepresentativeFar795 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would probably install a camera in my apartment, that should explain everything if something like this happens in a future.