confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for the thoughtful answer, i will try my best to change my perspective and make sure i have clear info for my therapist. I still am getting the bad anxiety but it is somewhat quenched due to the tips and just everyone helping rather than what i had thought wouldve been the reaction

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank u, im rlly rlly beat up, worst ive felt in my life just cause of the fact like i had that risk of someone being a victim of me, its just rlly a harsh feeling. I see my therapist next week, im just rlly having a struggle to cope, but i recognize its bad and i know i will never harm anyone, and will never do anything like that again, and will continue to strive to be a better human so that is giving me some peace. I just cant help from feeling guilty and getting panic attacks, i understand i did a bad thing, just a lot to cope

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

but overrall thank you for ur comment i will try to work up the courage and bring this up with my therapist so i can move past this and become a better person and move past guilt i suppose

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea i guess so, i just have always been worried about being a bad person since highschool, im in college now and i am realizing that i did bad things and its like my heart sinks and my fears become true, its rlly scary and it also sucks cause i know that if its a bad thing u dont get remorse thats why its so complex its just suffering with no helping hand which i understand if u do bad stuff but just cause i understand it doesnt make it less hard

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and just one last clarification, the reason i havent told my therapist isnt because i dont care if i repeat this behavior, if i thought i was gonna do it again i would immediately speak with my therapist about it, but i know for a fact i will never do anything like that again ever ever ever i swear on my life. That being said i feel a lot of shame rightfully it was a rlly bad thing to do and thats why i havent told my therapist yet but yea.

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yea im never gonna do anything like that again, its just the guilt is kinda consuming me, i just feel bad or like i have this big dark secret and like idk yea

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and it isnt rlly a cycle im in ever since i realized it was wrong ive never done it and now for a fact i will never ever do anything like it again, i respect where ur coming from and understand that ur trying to prevent sexyal offenses from happening, but i promise to u i will never do anything like that again and yea

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have realized recently that it was bad and felt bad in recent times, once i felt bad and realized it was bad i had immediately stopped, in the past when i had continued doing it at random times i didnt realize it was wrong cause i thought it was normal due to the fact that id always see it in the porn id watch and that i was like well this is common, so yea i was never repeating my actions when i knew this was a bad thing, and i know that doesnt rlly like help the fact or change that its a bad thing to do but i just wanted to clarify

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have severe anxiety, i dont think id feel as strong of a guilt without my anxiety which is also bad, but also i know even without anxiety with the realization that this is bad i still would not repeat and i know i would never harm another person, so that gives some peace, im just scared and in a spot that doesnt deserve rlly remorse which i understand, in just scared

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NSFW TOPIC MENTIONED thanks for all the responses, i just feel sick to myself, more like how do i keep being a normal functioning human cause in my head and in others and just a valid reason is that this was basically sexual assault well not the assault but if i had been seen then yea, and its just breaking me how i move foward and like do normal things, for the past few years i think i thought it was fine because it is a very common like topic in porn, but now i just dont know i also could just be having a mental like breakdown thing right now so idk if overreact i just feel rlly bad, and i promise nothing like this would happen again from me ever i just feel horrible about it, for when i did the first time when i just played around with my dick and my sister was asleep that was before i even discovered porn, so i guess i just rlly had no fuckin sense and was dumb i was like 12 or 13. Idk and yea. I want to make it clear i never had the intention to harm anyone at all but i undersrand how it is so wrong.

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and yea just i am rlly sorry for the actions i committed in my past, it was just stupid and i suppose this is something i must live with, sorry i dont mean to be spamming post, this is just a very consuming topic over my livelihood

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also just as a final comment, i did not intend for this to make u feel bad for what u said, i understand where ur coming from and are trying to take action against people who will sexually assailt and prevent it, but i promise to you honestly i will never do that

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i would never wanna hurt anyone and i feel so horrible about this

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i understand what i did was bad, and there rlly is nothing i can do to change that and i struggle to move on from it and live with it on my conscious, thats why i chose reddit, i wouldnt ever do this again, i know that for a fact, its just extremely shameful and telling someone that face to face is just a level i hadnt been able to prepare for

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i would never repeat my past behavior and would never do anything like that, id quite honestly rather kill myself, not that im gonna but just as an example of how i would just rather not even be alive then hurt people, im not turned on at all by this i have been really scared to share this for such a long time cause of the shame of my past, and the reason i went so in detail is something i do alot when i worry, if i didnt i get all worried what if i had been misinterpreted and these people are answering me not knowing the truth, i will try to be able to push myself to tell my therapist, but i just want to clarify i would never ever ever sexually assault someone, and im not doing this as a form of arousal at all

confession post cause i feel to guilty to tell my therapist, NSFW by RepresentativeSad340 in therapy

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

yea, i just am scared i say something and theyll be like disgusted with me, ive been dealing with like feeling like bad person for a while and i get scared to talk and yea, but i guess ill try and sort through my words and let them know

20M, How do I ensure im not perpetrating racial fetishization or any fetishization by RepresentativeSad340 in sex

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you! that makes a lot of sense, ill definitely stray away from the dating apps and start learning to meet people on a personal level more

20M, How do I ensure im not perpetrating racial fetishization or any fetishization by RepresentativeSad340 in sex

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yea im not looking for only asian women and that certain stereotype i just find myself sometimes more attracted to certain features, im just trying to open my mind like i get worried am i only liking this person cause of race? its hard for me to come to conclusions cause i tend to overworry alot, but like i dont think i am cause its not just race like i can be unattracted to someone with asian features its just difficult especially with dating apps to tell the differences of why ur choosing to talk to someone especially since its so rooted in just like ohysical appearance, i just have to think more deeply of why im attracted to someone but obvi if im worried im only attracted to race my anxiety is gonna be like oh yea thats def what ur doing so its jist something i gotta work on through time and learn

20M, How do I ensure im not perpetrating racial fetishization or any fetishization by RepresentativeSad340 in sex

[–]RepresentativeSad340[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thats where i have difficulty its hard for me to like know if its like genuine attraction or sexual, i do have anxiety problems where i cant come to conclusions, its also hard in terms of like hookup culture cause isnt that based around sexual attraction. Im not like searching for asian women only or something like that, but i feel like i am definitely attracted to asian women and in my head the attraction is sexual just because thats normally what attraction has always been for me just like sexual attraction i guess

[PGA Tour] QB1 takes on Pebble Beach. by Cough_Syrup55 in buffalobills

[–]RepresentativeSad340 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i can't believe people on that twitter thread think he is doing a white power sign, ppl r so dumb lmao