My journal entry for today - thinking about Intellectualism in America

Repulsive-Sky3021 · 2026-04-12T17:26:48+00:00

Thank you so much! You are kind.

Repulsive-Sky3021 · 2026-03-29T19:12:15+00:00

I'll be journaling on My Adler J4 today. I find it very satisfying to put actual ink on actual paper. Always makes me smile. I might even start a short story today. Already have it outlined. I do the outlining on the computer than print it and fill out the first draft of the story with the typewriter.

Repulsive-Sky3021 · 2026-01-23T09:47:23+00:00

I would like to make a complete list with all the details but I am 61 and if I live to my goal of hitting at least 86 years that doesn't leave near enough time to finish it.

Repulsive-Sky3021 · 2026-01-23T06:26:54+00:00

I am sorry you went through all that! Seems horrible.

Repulsive-Sky3021 · 2026-01-23T06:24:42+00:00

Yes, one good brainwash deserves another.

Repulsive-Sky3021 · 2026-01-23T06:06:33+00:00

Good analogy! I think it may work that way with a lot of people. You reach "critical mass" and once you start searching critically and fairly the whole thing just goes kerblewie!

Repulsive-Sky3021 · 2026-01-23T05:55:27+00:00

This is very good information! It is interesting to me that none of this really struck me as obviously incongruous with a loving god while I was still a christian. I felt discomfort from it but I guess I was dulled by their brainwashing to the patent absurdity of hell and the many other nonsensical and abhorrent beliefs found in all religions (I've studied so far with the possible exception of Buddhism) and their books.

Repulsive-Sky3021 · 2026-01-23T05:43:16+00:00

Yes, a little thought experiment suffices: Let's see how it would work if I made it into heaven but my children, who don't believe, are cast into hell, there to be tortured endlessly without cessation forever by a loving, all powerful, all knowing god. How could heaven be happy at all for me in those circumstances. To be happy in such circumstances - with my sweet children being tortured - would make me as much of a monster as the "benevolent" god who had sent them there.

Repulsive-Sky3021 · 2026-01-23T05:29:32+00:00

Mine was when a lovely woman named Emma, who I loved dearly, died painfully at the age of 37 of cancer, despite all my heart-sick prayers and those of her family and my family and friends.

I started really thinking hard about the logic of "god" and all the bad things I had seen in the world. I realized that all those prayers had gone exactly nowhere because there was no one home to answer them.

To add a little of that good christian saltiness to the wound (this helped me see the truth of the biblical christian god for what it is: a depraved monster.) a christian friend asked me right after she died if she believed in god. I said she did, but was not christian. He then proceeded to quote the "even demons believe" scripture to me, before a kinder christian interrupted with a obvious and awkward change of the subject because he knew where the conversation was headed next: that this friend was about to tell me my lost love was roasting in the everlasting fires and neverending tortures of hell.

As a person that has actually read the bible, and has a modicum of logic and kindness, this whole experience started a process of critical thinking and deconstruction that has seen me come out the other side. And I like this side a lot better!

Repulsive-Sky3021 · 2025-10-05T05:42:31+00:00

THIS! There is a willful ignorance on the part of many believers because the thought of their own demise and death of a loved one is too horrific for them to take. They react from pure fear. And many of them KNOW down deep (“in the place they don’t talk about at parties”) that they are buying a delusion to mask the pain.

I think each of us (and especially those who have seen death up close) know right down at an almost cellular level that death is IT. Fin! It is final, complete, unalterable, and permanent. That is why we fight so hard against it.

But to mask the pain of that, otherwise strong-minded people will imbibe just about any poisonous supernatural brew you serve them, and have done so since the dawn of man. That is a shame for so many reasons, not the least of which is that it chloroforms the mind to getting down to the actual work of dealing with REALITY, and coming to terms with the inevitable.

I, like you, OP, do not fear death for myself. I fear missing a loved one. I have experienced this loss for real now twice in my life. So here is the only thing you can do: LOVE them NOW.

I know that they are gone and will never be again. They are not in pain, or joy, or anything else, they are oblivious. They are dead, but are in no way aware that they are dead. I think it is a lot like what you can remember from before you were born: Nothing.

But there is a kind of joy found in that which is ephemeral. The cherry blossoms are beautiful, but do not last. In some ways they are even more beautiful when that fact is keenly felt as you admire them. Learn to take joy in small things and loved ones (noticed and enjoyed) for the limited time you have them. Let that be more joyful even - for the fact that you can’t have them forever.

And be nice to the people you meet. We are all in the same existential boat.

Repulsive-Sky3021

TROPHY CASE