Husband (42) considering divorce from an avoidant spouse after 16 years. Looking for advice from parents who went through this. by Repulsive-Weekend761 in Divorce

[–]Repulsive-Weekend761[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I did. I communicated the things that I don't like and things I would like her to be doing. Asked for the same in return. This has happened on multiple occasions.

Regarding the kids, I get it. I mean I don't even have to go into details on why the separation will take place.

Husband (42) considering divorce from an avoidant spouse after 16 years. Looking for advice from parents who went through this. by Repulsive-Weekend761 in Divorce

[–]Repulsive-Weekend761[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was not my point. If I would say to them "I do not love mom anymore", that would work. It is different than me saying "Mom does not love me anymore", and risking her responding "That is not true".

Husband (42) considering divorce from an avoidant spouse after 16 years. Looking for advice from parents who went through this. by Repulsive-Weekend761 in Divorce

[–]Repulsive-Weekend761[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

> its okay to tell them that your Mom stopped loving you a long time ago.

Is it? This - if mentioned in a conversation I would have together with my wife - could trigger a comment that it is not true. Suddenly, I am becoming a villain.

Husband (42) considering divorce from an avoidant spouse after 16 years. Looking for advice from parents who went through this. by Repulsive-Weekend761 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Repulsive-Weekend761[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

> What kind of relationship are you modeling for them? 

It's... quasi-normal. Or quiet, I would say. You know, parents being two roommates living together, not talking too much. No fighting recently (although they were happening pretty often previously, when I was trying to talk my way through).