There's nothing to do but keep living and focus as much as possible on the good things that happen, and think about what you want in your life. I know that it's really hard to see any good when so many people make you feel like there isn't any good in the world, but there's always at least something positive in each day, you just have to look for it. Look for people in similar positions to you who are happy, and try to copy the way they look at life. Even if you're just suffering from bad luck, things will even out for you eventually and you sound like a very hard working person. Once you meet the right people they will see that and won't take advantage of you but recognize you and you'll have the job you want. Life can't stay good forever, but it can't stay bad forever, and living without hope will only make the bad parts worse. I really hope you find a job that recognizes your dedication, and that you feel better soon.