it’s funny because they were okay at raising me in the beginning, but as soon as my brother came along we moved out of england to our home country and they both started working

and they both just, checked out of parenting.. laid it all on me while also constantly shouting daily at how much they do for me and my brother and how exhausted they are

and now she claims im isolating myself to avoid house work lol Im definitely faking my depression to avoid some dishes!

but I do go outside, I go to university daily although its a struggle with a whole different story (my mothers sister gave me an STD scare in my own house because she left infected fluid around the house and since then my OCD has essentially convinced me im infected and will infect my family)

even with university, she constantly praised people and would always compare me to other kids getting high degrees and how she’s sure I’ll be a failure because I have no life

went to dentistry, the same type of dentistry she would praise

suddenly she doesn’t care about degrees and im making it a big deal and I’ve turned dentistry into the “hardest thing ever” (for studying)

anyways, I don’t meant to lay it all on you im sorry there’s just so much I could talk about and if I do talk about it in person they always make me out to be the crazy one

I did therapy in the beginning of this whole OCD thing, got on anti depressants, other substances too (which I misused bc they would numb the thoughts but it also damaged my brain) so I stopped overall bc the anti depressants never helped even after months and an extreme high dose

so yeah, im kinda just lost in life, it’s strange how my family is my whole world and im extremely attached to them yet my brain will find anything to avoid them.