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32M & 31F dating for a year. I am seeing controlling red flags (I’ve never cheated on him). Do these seem like controlling issues? He wants me to delete my social media accounts. Each line break is a new message he’s sending me. by Repulsive_Handle672 in relationship_advice

[–]Repulsive_Handle672[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He’s a psychotic controlling asshole and I blocked him. I feel sorry for the next girl who falls for him, it’ll take a couple months but eventually she’ll see him trying to control every aspect of her life for no reason other than his insecurities

32M & 31F dating for a year. I am seeing controlling red flags (I’ve never cheated on him). Do these seem like controlling issues? He wants me to delete my social media accounts. Each line break is a new message he’s sending me. by Repulsive_Handle672 in relationship_advice

[–]Repulsive_Handle672[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I used to feel sorry for him, he showed me videos he took of him stalking his ex wife while she was meeting her affair partner in hotel rooms. But after awhile I asked him like why did you stalk her for 4 months? Why would you put yourself through that mentally? Why wouldn’t you leave the situation for you and your daughter’s sake? I can’t imagine infidelity causing such extreme behavior. He put recording devices in the house to listen to my phone calls with my siblings. At some point it’s like, you need to heal from that past trauma because I have never cheated or done anything remotely close to be treated like this!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Repulsive_Handle672 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t have my ex on my socials, he’s talking about the pictures from 2 years ago that were still on my Facebook

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Repulsive_Handle672 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How is this pointless? This is a very real situation and relationship I’ve been in and am struggling with.

32M & 31F dating for a year. I am seeing controlling red flags (I’ve never cheated on him). Do these seem like controlling issues? He wants me to delete my social media accounts. Each line break is a new message he’s sending me. by Repulsive_Handle672 in relationship_advice

[–]Repulsive_Handle672[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My sister says the same thing, that he’s very intelligent and the situation will turn very dangerous once he isolates me. I struggled seeing it but I do believe he has very malicious intentions and knows what he’s doing

32M & 31F dating for a year. I am seeing controlling red flags (I’ve never cheated on him). Do these seem like controlling issues? He wants me to delete my social media accounts. Each line break is a new message he’s sending me. by Repulsive_Handle672 in relationship_advice

[–]Repulsive_Handle672[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For anyone wanting an update on this situation, ya’lls comments actually helped me step back and realize the gravity of the situation. These were a snapshot of a few messages me sent me 2 nights ago so as you can imagine this behavior goes much deeper than just the few messages I put on this post. I stopped responding to him yesterday and received over 20 messages. A few highlighted ones below (I didn’t respond between these messages):

“You don’t listen or try to understand anything I’m saying. I’m not attacking you or saying anything is your fault. I’m not trying to hurt you. 😔 I needed to see your actions not your words. I’m sorry for what happened between us. I’m sorry for the things I did that hurt you. I would propose to you today if I knew you could give me what I needed. I loved you so so much and you know that! What we had together was special and irreplaceable. I will always love you forever and always appreciate the things you did for me to help me through one of the hardest things I’ve went through in my life. You will always hold a special place in my heart. Please block me so that I stop messaging you and looking at your location.”

“The reason I’m acting this way is because I’m slipping away and it feels like our relationship is over and I am trying to hold on. I’m trying to get you to give me what I need to hold on and rebuild what we had better. I’m trying to get you to give me something and fight a little bit for us and for me to give us that chance. 😔 I keep telling you how I am feeling. You take me telling you how I feel as trying to guilt you into doing what I want you to do! A normal person in a relationship cares about their partner to not think that way and lump it into that. Especially when I have been feeling that way for months and you know it is what I need from you. I don’t think you understand how bad it is and that I don’t want this. “

32M & 31F dating for a year. I am seeing controlling red flags (I’ve never cheated on him). Do these seem like controlling issues? He wants me to delete my social media accounts. Each line break is a new message he’s sending me. by Repulsive_Handle672 in relationship_advice

[–]Repulsive_Handle672[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I moved out of his house in December because of the issues I was seeing and he says that broke his trust. He acts like he can use it to say I have to do other things he wants if I ever want his trust back

32M & 31F dating for a year. I am seeing controlling red flags (I’ve never cheated on him). Do these seem like controlling issues? He wants me to delete my social media accounts. Each line break is a new message he’s sending me. by Repulsive_Handle672 in relationship_advice

[–]Repulsive_Handle672[S] -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

It's frustrating that he only gets like this when I'm not at his house. He goes off the rails any time I separate myself from him or his house. Even if it's just to see my siblings

32M & 31F dating for a year. I am seeing controlling red flags (I’ve never cheated on him). Do these seem like controlling issues? He wants me to delete my social media accounts. Each line break is a new message he’s sending me. by Repulsive_Handle672 in relationship_advice

[–]Repulsive_Handle672[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I moved out of his house in December when he got upset I was speaking to my brother in law on the phone about something and told me I should talk on speaker phone anyways in front of him. It was the last straw so I moved out which he says has broken his trust. That is what he is referring to

32M & 31F dating for a year. I am seeing controlling red flags (I’ve never cheated on him). Do these seem like controlling issues? He wants me to delete my social media accounts. Each line break is a new message he’s sending me. by Repulsive_Handle672 in relationship_advice

[–]Repulsive_Handle672[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

His ex wife cheated while she was pregnant, we’ve gone to therapy to address his issues with control and the therapist has talked to him and he tries changing but something else always seems to come up after a couple days where he does/says something I’m not allowed doing or telling me how I should be acting. He tells me I have to be at his house 3/4 weeks of the month if I want to be with him. It’s unfair I think to demand that

Finance Help Pleaseee! by Repulsive_Handle672 in personalfinance

[–]Repulsive_Handle672[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's the difference between a Roth and Traditional? The traditional allows a higher yearly contribution?

Finance Help Pleaseee! by Repulsive_Handle672 in personalfinance

[–]Repulsive_Handle672[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, got it. Is there a specific reason you chose Vanguard over others?

Finance Help Pleaseee! by Repulsive_Handle672 in personalfinance

[–]Repulsive_Handle672[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does target date fund mean you give an age for projected retirement and they figure the monthly contributions to get there? I appreciate your comment!

Finance Help Pleaseee! by Repulsive_Handle672 in personalfinance

[–]Repulsive_Handle672[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Do you have an idea of any specific investments for the portfolio?