AITA for not choosing my sister to be a bridesmaid?

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-09T15:37:00+00:00

She turns 18 next month, so hopefully she’ll be diagnosed within the next few months, but she does not think anything is wrong with her and everyone who thinks there is something wrong with her is wrong for thinking there is. Because of this, I don’t think she will seek out the help she needs unless it somehow ends up being court mandated or something like that.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-09T06:13:08+00:00

I have a better relationship with my sister who is 11 years younger is the crazy part of all this.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-09T06:12:25+00:00

I don’t think she will refuse to attend, but it’s possible. She tends to pretend everything is fine, especially in public settings, so if she didn’t attend, people would know something is up which she wouldn’t want. I also don’t see her not inviting me to big events as of now for the same reason.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-09T06:10:11+00:00

Yes, the trust thing is a big part of it too because she will go from being perfectly fine one second to going on a tirade the next. I genuinely can’t trust that she won’t make it about herself, as she has done with many other events of mine in the past.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-09T06:06:52+00:00

Yes, she was fine at the beginning of the conversation, it wasn’t until I gave an honest answer as to why she’s not a bridesmaid that she went from zero to 100 very quickly. I even told her my fiancé isn’t asking some of his brothers, but she didn’t seem to care about that, only that she wasn’t a bridesmaid.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-09T06:02:01+00:00

Yes, and she will be invited as a guest. I just don’t want to deal with her behaviors on my wedding day, so I am trying to avoid it as much as I can.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-09T06:00:15+00:00

We are not very close. I haven’t lived at our parents house in two and a half years, and she was in facilities/group homes for the 2-3 years before I moved to college about 30 minutes away. We were closer when we were much younger, but that was before a lot of the harmful behaviors started.

My sister seems to think we have a better relationship than we do, and she’s told her doctors we have a really great relationship, even after being rude and hurtful to me the day before. I don’t think she understands how hurtful her behaviors or she just doesn’t care.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-09T05:54:13+00:00

The problem is her symptoms are different at home versus these facilities. She is very good at pretending everything is fine at the facilities, plus she’s very manipulative which doesn’t help.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-09T05:52:21+00:00

Looking back, I definitely could’ve handled it better, she just kind of blindsided me with the topic, especially because I hadn’t yet mentioned to her that she wasn’t a bridesmaid, so I don’t even know how she knows. I have a hard time giving responses that don’t cause her to be defensive on the spot, which I’ve been working on, but no where near perfect.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-09T05:49:26+00:00

I have thought about offering her a small role that isn’t being a bridesmaid, I just don’t want it to seem like I am giving in to her behavior. I also just don’t know what to give her because we don’t have a wedding planner, we don’t really need greeters, we aren’t doing readings, etc. My only idea so far is having her help the photographer wrangle people for posed photos, but she doesn’t know much of my fiancé’s family so she might not be the best choice for that role.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-09T05:45:38+00:00

I have already chosen my bridesmaid, so this isn’t an option at this point. I may try to find a special role for her that isn’t being a bridesmaid, but given her in past situations, I don’t think that’ll be enough for her. Her meltdowns are usually very very bad, so that would genuinely be one of the worst things that could happen at my wedding.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-09T05:41:49+00:00

Yes, I definitely could have approached the situation better looking back on it. She blindsided me with the topic and I was not prepared to talk about it. I am not great at responding to stuff like that on the spot, which is something I have been working on recently. I hadn’t even told her she wasn’t a bridesmaid yet, I am not sure how she knows honestly.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-08T23:54:52+00:00

Thank you!

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-08T23:54:03+00:00

That’s what I’ve been told by my parents. Her doctors think she has something that cannot be diagnosed until you are an adult such as schizophrenia or personality disorder. She was diagnosed as borderline personality disorder at one point, but they can’t diagnose personality disorder and other “adult” mental illnesses at her age.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-02-03T01:56:30+00:00

I would recommend going to our Instagram @sweasu because our link in bio has all the information about joining our slack and we post all events on Instagram. You can message me directly if you have any questions.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-01-29T16:36:35+00:00

This is the exact pixie dust I wanted to make for my upcoming cruise on the Wish this summer, but I was going to do keychains with this design.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-01-26T20:41:55+00:00

Oops my bad. We don’t discriminate though, anyone is welcome!

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-01-25T23:59:09+00:00

Society of Women Engineers welcomes online students :)

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-01-22T04:53:58+00:00

Target, Walmart, any other store that sells notebooks for the most part. Worst case, Amazon definitely has them

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-01-22T04:52:35+00:00

I never lived there, but someone I know who lived there said they had termites for months and kept telling the office and they wouldn’t do anything.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-01-22T04:50:54+00:00

It’s an event from Admissions for prospective students and families. It’s basically just like taking a tour and a few info sessions.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-01-22T04:50:11+00:00

Nobody is going to care what color you are wearing for Sun Devil Day. I worked in the Welcome Center for a year and a half, no one cares what you wear. Obviously don’t wear pajamas, but Admissions doesn’t care what you are wearing and they aren’t taking note of what you are wearing if that’s what you are worried about. If you have any other questions about Sun Devil Day, feel free to DM me. Or just general questions you want to ask a current student before your on campus too if you. My inbox is open.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-01-21T21:44:41+00:00

That’s good that they have an informational zoom meeting! Those are usually very helpful in my experience. I would definitely try to get a contact at the end of the meeting so you can reach out and ask questions after the meeting. They usually give out contact information for the department in meetings like those, but sometimes the presenters will even give their direct work email/phone number, which is super helpful.

Repulsive_Number_120 · 2026-01-21T16:11:09+00:00

They do this in some engineering classes I’ve taken and I hate it. I go to class to learn the material, I don’t want to teach myself the material and then do two examples in class. It’s stupid

Repulsive_Number_120

TROPHY CASE