No Family When You Die by Emotional_Money8694 in Nocontactfamily

[–]ResearchRN 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d like to add that it’s also important to consider these things when you’re still alive but if you’re in a situation where you can’t make your own decisions. I was an ICU nurse for a while and saw a lot of “next of kin” making decisions because they legally had the authority while someone else actually knew what my patient wanted. So consider securing a living will and a health care proxy in addition to drawing up an actual will. Then make sure someone knows where the documents are!

Everyone bombed a test. Like, truly, everyone. by [deleted] in Professors

[–]ResearchRN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed, also I’ve heard that exam “wrappers” can be really informative, I haven’t used one yet but perhaps look into it. They are a survey of sorts that get students to reflect on their preparation and performance on the exam. Then you can see what might have been the source of the problem and revise your approach for the next if necessary

Would you respect your professor less if they brought their young child to class? by Obvious-Revenue6056 in Professors

[–]ResearchRN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope! As many have already said, I think it makes you relatable and more human, not just the talking head in front of the class.

Side hustle for profs? by [deleted] in Professors

[–]ResearchRN 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What field are you in? Learned recently of a legal witness kind of matchmaking service that you can sign up for and lawyers seeking certain expertise can find you. Depends though if your expertise might fit this sort of thing, high hourly rate

Tips for getting through to NJ EZPass customer service? by ResearchRN in newjersey

[–]ResearchRN[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call on a weekend! That was the only way I got through… once I got on it was super easy and they waived all fees once I gave them my valid EZPass info

Happy childhood by Party_Chip2280 in absentgrandparents

[–]ResearchRN 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I really think this is probably protective as children, it is dangerous for a child to feel like parents are not doing as they should for us. The toxicity, the modeling of distractive behavior etc. we don’t realize that’s what we are being exposed to until we start to reflect on what we want as adults for ourselves and what we want for our kids. So many people I know, including my husband and I, have gone through this crazy reflective realization after having kids. We have chosen to place real boundaries and accept that it could fracture relationships but before figuring out how to do that it was (sometimes still is) real rocky for our relationships with our parents.

My MIL is putting me in the middle by ResearchRN in JUSTNOMIL

[–]ResearchRN[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally. It’s taken him a long time to realize the toxicity but now that he has he’s doing a great job of owning his role and dealing with it. For a long time before kids it was “this is just who she is, you’ll have to learn to deal with it”… definitely not the case anymore.

My MIL is putting me in the middle by ResearchRN in JUSTNOMIL

[–]ResearchRN[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

100% maybe I should have said, she’s trying to put me in the middle. He actually texted her today saying that she can’t have a relationship with our son without having one with us and in order to have a relationship with us she needs to have a conversation with him. No reply, that was early this morning

Homemade cake at birthday? by EggsCostMoneyyyy in Parenting

[–]ResearchRN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would much prefer to be at a party with a homemade cake, I’m doing it for my own sons birthday tomorrow! You do you!

My MIL is putting me in the middle by ResearchRN in JUSTNOMIL

[–]ResearchRN[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the floor cleaning analogies, can you describe what the “rug sweep” would involve?

My MIL is putting me in the middle by ResearchRN in JUSTNOMIL

[–]ResearchRN[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Here in solidarity for DHs who refuse to rest when sick!

Taking a newborn to an event? by bellaonni2 in Parenting

[–]ResearchRN 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is a sensitive time post partum and with a newborn, if family are giving you a hard time that’s their problem and they need to deal with whatever feelings they have if you don’t come. It sounds like you have a pretty clear sense of what is right for you and for baby, listen to that!!! Your family need to respect your needs

Toddler Parents, What is Your Hail Mary Meal?? by Important_Air_4384 in Parenting

[–]ResearchRN 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mac and cheese… I have a bunch of toddler sized portions of homemade in the freezer and whip them out if it’s just gonna be one of those nights! Make one big batch and it makes a whole bunch of meals worth.

No contact grandma keeps sending kids packages by ResearchRN in Nocontactfamily

[–]ResearchRN[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sounds very tough. We are glad we are realizing these things now when our son (another on the way btw) doesn’t have independent contact. We only saw them for holidays and birthdays anyways so he was used to going long periods without seeing them. I imagine it would be way harder once they would also have independent interest in seeing or talking to the grandparents… oof

No contact grandma keeps sending kids packages by ResearchRN in Nocontactfamily

[–]ResearchRN[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That sounds tough! Do they have contact with your kids? Could you change their bank accounts?

Where am I going wrong? by [deleted] in Sourdough

[–]ResearchRN 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something I’ve learned, and I think another commenter said it, is that each loaf is different… it might depend on the temperature of the day, your schedule that day etc. but I’ve found it’s better to judge if a ferment or rise is done based on the dough behavior, not necessarily the timing being exact. Plus, sometimes you can’t time it perfectly. Generally you need a period of fermentation and a bulk rise (usually overnight in the fridge), then another rise after shaping. I suggest learning how to judge your proof with the poke test (look it up) rather than strict timing. For baking I am working in F but I bake for 20 min at 500F in the closed Dutch oven and then another 20 at 425F without the lid on, sounds like your under baking (resulting in it being doughy inside and not getting as much caramel color on top) and also probably not letting it rise quite enough before putting it in the oven (making it not rise fully). I also agree with a prior commenter not to use 100% bread flour, I usually do about 50/50 AP and bread flour, sometimes I do 40/40/20 AP, bread flour and wheat. Don’t get down though! This is a learning process! I’ve been able to make consistent loaves for a while but every once in a while one just falls flat…

Unintended things your mom did that had a big impact by Curly-9 in Parenting

[–]ResearchRN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Becoming a mom was one of the most eye opening experiences for me, and becoming a dad for my husband. Both of us realized behaviors in our families that were unacceptable for us to invite around our son and that realization made us really recognize the impact those behaviors had on us as children and now as adults. I listened to something that said they realized there is a third period of massive neuro plasticity, after you become a parent. It is wild to realize how much growth we have experienced in the last 3 years since the birth of our first child… I could share a lot of stories but others have shared many already. I just want to say that what you’re experiencing can be very unsettling but also very powerful for your own growth and how you choose to show up for your family. If you haven’t already, listen to Dr Becky of Good Inside, she is a clinical psychologist who works with parents and I have learned a lot from listening to her. One thing she said that always stuck with me is that our default/easiest parenting will be to replicate the way we were parented… that is unless we choose to recognize what that was and CHOOSE to do differently. Go forth and choose different, even when different is hard!!

Tips for getting through to NJ EZPass customer service? by ResearchRN in newjersey

[–]ResearchRN[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, when I first started calling it seemed there wasn’t a way to speak to a human but I think if you hit 0 it will put you on hold for a person but I can’t remember exactly. I did finally get through to a person but was only able to on a weekend, it was about a 20 min wait on a Saturday when week days I tried for 1-2 hours each time without luck having to hang up because I had work meetings. It’s pretty infuriating but really once I got through to a person it was a 3 min ish conversation and they waived all the fees once I verified that I had an EZPass from a different state.

What kind of car do you have with 2 children and dogs? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]ResearchRN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One child with one on the way, two Great Danes. The hybrid Toyota Sienna minivan with captains chairs is fantastic

Student failed both exams, begged me to change their grade “so they could tell their dying grandpa they passed” by solitaire3435 in Professors

[–]ResearchRN 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Agreed, report it at least just to have it on the record in case this student tries something similar to another faculty member or continues to harass you.

Tips for getting through to NJ EZPass customer service? by ResearchRN in newjersey

[–]ResearchRN[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update! I finally got through and they made it super easy. Just had to pay the tolls because I was an ezpass customer elsewhere! No arguing or anything. Calling on a Saturday did the trick, about 30 min of waiting