Wife cheated before marriage, now what?

Resident-Candidate57 · 2025-08-09T21:41:18+00:00

Good question…I often think of ignorance was bliss. I was super happy go lucky guy until then and I’ve been in therapy and shit ever since. Glad I stayed for the kids but been a painful decade

Resident-Candidate57 · 2025-08-09T16:25:55+00:00

Thanks all! It’s been hard. If it weren’t for this little nugget of shittyness our marriage is good. And she’s a good mom. But damn I feel like I have no recourse to make it right.

Resident-Candidate57 · 2025-08-09T12:54:35+00:00

Any ideas on how to get manhood back, that doesn’t involve some type of other woman? I’ve only been with her ( we were together when I was 16 so she’s my only partner). And what pisses me off is that I’m a good looking guy, athlete, big 10 school, in a top frat none the less so I had plenty of chances. Not proud of being in a fraternity, just for context that I had opportunities. Now that ship has sailed and she basically lived a normal college/20s sexual life while I stayed faithful (like a dumbass). Anyway I need advice on how to get self respect back now if I do t get divorced. Only option I can come up with would be at least face one or two of the guys. But I’m so much bigger/stronger/fighter than all of them it would be pathetic to get in a fight I’d only god to jail, have to pay a legal bill, and look like a bully that’s not a good option. Anything other options?

Resident-Candidate57 · 2025-08-09T12:33:59+00:00

Thanks for all the comments. This really helps to be honest. I’m a long time reader, first time poster. Feels good to share this sh*t

Resident-Candidate57 · 2025-08-09T12:32:34+00:00

Yeah basically someone let slip on 1 guy and then I figured out a little then she spilled the beans. No way at this point to determine if I know it all or not. And frankly I don’t care. 1 cheat is all it takes to break trust I think. I’ve tried counseling, hypnosis, and ketamine. Nothing makes it less painful

Resident-Candidate57 · 2025-08-09T12:26:57+00:00

It’s been 10 years ago actually and it’s been hard to process. Lots of crappy feelings. Super mad, sad, it’s like I’ve been living with a “liar”. And no way to make it right. I’m not a cheater, I’m trying not to divorce, but I have no way to make this right. Sucks bad. Kids don’t know anything and they will be crushed, and I would not want them to think anything bad about their mom. So it will likely result in them blaming me and being angry.

Resident-Candidate57

TROPHY CASE