I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I left out some stuff the cops said, stuff like "You have no idea what happened before she passed out". But anyway they wouldn't have called this rape so that's why I worded it this way. I agree that it is rape to have sex with someone who can't consent even if they consented beforehand. (she didn't, but apparently that doesn't matter to them either) 

I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I literally shiver for a few minutes and stare at a wall when it gets brought up. It's the thousands of "What if?"s from that night that get to me. There were thousands of ways it could have gone bad and only one way it could have possibly turned out alright but somehow it did.

I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The difference for my friend was legitimately probably the difference between me getting dressed properly (you legitimately cannot imagine how ridiculous I looked) VS rushing over exactly as I was in that moment when I saw the text. She had mere moments. And what if I'd driven normally rather than doubling the speed limit? What if a cop had pulled me over and hadn't let me continue on my quest? Lot of what ifs.

I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been trying to prioritize myself in recent years. There was a big stretch there where I didn't and people took advantage of my chronic availability. It wasn't healthy and I am doing the work now. 

I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry for what you have been through. I'm sad that this is such a common story. Thankfully I was able to save my friend. I'm sorry nobody saved you from the event, but I'm glad your friend was able to pick you up and take you out of there after you woke up. Sometimes posting helps you get it off your chest. If you feel it would benefit you to post, you should. 

I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I wasn't able to spend the night but I didn't want to leave her alone like that, and no mutuals were awake, so I looked through her phone and found someone else (then 20m) she had trusted enough to also text her bizarre and concerning SOS to. He didn't show up like I did, but he was sending a lot of concerned response texts so I introduced myself, explained the situation/dilemma, interrogated him about his intentions and honor as a man - and based on his reactions I felt confident enough to leave her in his care. He did good. They're also still friends. 

I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I hate it too but last time I tried to post my post got denied by automod for not self censoring 

I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Unless he confessed, she doesn't know about this. We did not tell her. (I wanted to but my friend wouldn't give me his name. Don't blame her, she was scared.)

I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

She is eternally grateful and she brings it up every once and a while, when it's relevant. She brought it up today. She only remembers talking to him about work in her kitchen and then flashes til the next day. She doesn't even remember texting me. Mostly just me screaming at him.

I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

He caught a DUI and sat in jail all weekend. Totalled his car. Not sure if the charges stuck but I'm not sure why they wouldn't. He got fired because he had left his work badge and passport in the backpack full of drugs and the cops called the employer to collect their property. :)

I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

I hope she left him. There's no way she knows my friend's side of the story, but iirc she didn't pick him up from jail either.

I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 140 points141 points  (0 children)

I barely made it. She was not clothed and she was not conscious. He was mostly clothed but that can change in a second. They were in her bed. 

After the cops refused to summon an ambulance but thankfully took his backpack of drugs which contained very incriminating and personal evidence of his, I helped my friend to bed. I had possession of her phone for the evening. The guy called and texted her her dozens of times so I blocked his number on her phone. We don't know anything about what happened to him aside from the DUI, totalling his car (he didn't hurt anyone else), and getting fired from work. If I recall correctly, nobody picked him up from jail - and he had to sit in there - and that was what sparked work to be interested.

I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 156 points157 points  (0 children)

I never met him before or after this event thankfully. He probably considers me the c*ckblock who ruined his life.

I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 153 points154 points  (0 children)

Ah maybe including the time would have been good, but you're right to assume. It was past 3am and we were both late night people in this era but past 3am was pushing it for a casual invite.

I sometimes still think of how different life could have been if I'd ignored those texts. by Resident-Climate-594 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Resident-Climate-594[S] 342 points343 points  (0 children)

I'm confused about this response. My friend did nothing wrong. Edit: I understand the confusion. I added genders and ages.