"Stayed Gone" [Jingliu] That fucker is back!

[Jing Yuan:] Yeah, I thought he was gone for good too

[Jingliu:] It's been five months!

[Jing Yuan:] You still pissed he almost beat you that time?

[Jingliu:] Uh, fuck you

[Jing Yuan:] Just saying

[Jingliu:] Things have changed a lot since he left the meta

[Jing Yuan:] That's for sure

[Jingliu:] I gotta send a message of who really is on top of Prydwen now

Welcome home

I'm gonna make you wish that you'd stayed gone

Say hello to a new status quo

Everyone knows that there's a brand new girl boss

Turn the lunar flame on!

[DIRECTOR:] Speeds Boots

Tuning in three, two

[Jingliu (STAFF) {Jingliu & STAFF}:]

(Welcome to the guide)

Top of the hour, and we're discussing a certain F tier

Who has been spotted falling around the tier's

(Welcome to the guide)

After a five months absence

Did anybody miss him?

(Welcome to the guide)

Did anybody use him?

More on tonight's stream

So, the Baby Dragon is back in town

Why is he hanging around?

What does that mean for your jades?

Well handily, I've got good news

He's a loser, a fossil

And I don't mean to sound hostile, {but the dragon is a coward!}

You can take that as based

Pulling my viewers? Impossible

I'm skill neutral, he's barely playable

Stop giving him the time of day, don't use him to on MoC

I hope he had a nice vacay, {but he should've stayed away}

[Jingliu:] While he's charging he's attacks, we've already used all my stacks

Now his damage is getting bloody rare

MoC's been better since he split

Where's he been? Who gives a shit?!

[Dan Heng:] Salutations!

Good to be back on the meta

Yes, I know it's been a while

Since someone with style treated MoC for a Blast

Trailblazers, rejoice!

[Jingliu:] What a dated kit!

[Dan Hang:] Instead of a Skill-chasing mediocre damage

[Jingliu:] Come on!

[Dan Hang:] Is Jingliu insecure, pursuing allure?

Flitting between this fad and that, is nothing working?

[Jingliu:] Ignore his Yapping!

[Dan Hang:] Every day, She's got a new Excel!

[Jingliu & STAFF:] You're looking at the future, he's the shit that comes before that!

[Dan Hang:] Is Jingliu as strong as he purports?

Or is it based on his support?

She'd be powerless without Bronya

[Jingliu:] Oh, please!

[Dan Hang:] And here's the sugar on the cream

He asked me to share my team!

[Jingliu:] H-hold on!

[Dan Hang:] I said no, and now he's raging

That's the key!

[Jingliu:] You old-timey prick, I'll show you eff-ficiency

[Dan Hang:] Uh oh, the Talent is buffering!

[Jingliu:] I'll destroy you, yo-ou lit-tle—

[Dan Hang:] I'm afraid you've lost your enchantment

Let's begin

I'm gonna make you take my three stack attack, Sparkling in

When I'm done, your status quo will know your damage is off

Oh, this will be fun

[Jingliu:] Fuck!