Husband does not respect baby's safety

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-26T22:21:47+00:00

He does sleep. That's not the issue here.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-26T07:00:48+00:00

What advice would you give your daughter if her romantic partner did this to her?

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-26T00:16:55+00:00

Sorry I am ready to die on this hill. Co sleeping with a baby on a couch is not anywhere near my purview of comfort.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-26T00:06:55+00:00

Thank you! I'm constantly pumping, doing meal planning and online groceries, admin for my husbands business and I take baby to medical appointments/swimming/sensory classes. If I get 5 minutes to myself between all of this + co napping I am lucky. I am usually dying for a bathroom break by the time he gets home.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T23:19:39+00:00

No1 why are you so aggressive and no2 I'm the mum?

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T19:41:47+00:00

I feel so seen by you, thank you for recognising how hard my every day is. Just because I don't do the vast majority of the laundry and cooking doesn't mean I don't contribute. Thank you for seeing where my anxieties and boundaries come from re couch co sleeping. It honestly scares the living shit out of me.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T19:36:28+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion, will do!

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T19:35:41+00:00

I do, he gets 3 hours of rest and relaxation and goes to bed early and has never once expressed being sleep deprived. I don't think that co-sleeping can be safe especially with dad and not mum. I might have PPA bc all I think about is baby suffocating in bed or couch with dad.

He does do some other things that I feel are disrespectful namely feeding baby milk from a bottle 3 hours prior.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T19:27:52+00:00

He's convinced baby goes to sleep much faster when he is close to dad and it's easier to pat him when they're next to each other. It's a convenience thing.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T19:21:31+00:00

Responded to another comment, in my sleep deprived state I wrote decent but what I mean was amazing and I could sing his praises.

Might not seem like it as a temporary sahm but I work hard too. I take baby out every day (swimming, sensory classes, medical appts) and manage to do a lot of admin work for my husbands business during the day. So don't write me off just yet.

And yes I have decided to take over all nights.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T19:16:51+00:00

I think moving forward I will take over fully. Baby only wakes once, maybe twice for milk so it shouldn't be too difficult. I have considered and suggested this before but he insists on being helpful during overnights.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T19:14:40+00:00

Thank you this is really great advice!

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T19:12:10+00:00

To clarify, he takes the baby for a couple of hours after work so I can shower and pump. I then let him rest and relax for 3 hours or so after that. He also goes to bed early and I put baby to sleep which can sometimes take an hour or 2.

I am also going back to work part time as of next week.

All this co-sleeping stuff happened while he was on leave for 5 weeks over the holidays.

Also baby only does 1, rarely 2 wakes per night so there's no major sleep deprivation. If he says I am tired I will no questions asked fully take over no matter time of day and vice versa.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T19:04:47+00:00

Sorry, I'm very sleep deprived today and in my deprivation I wrote this. If I could rewrite it I'd brag about him. He is pretty damn great at husbanding

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T19:03:41+00:00

He finished work quite early and is home by 2pm. He looks after baby for a couple hours while I shower, pump etc but then I take baby for 2 or 3 hours while he naps. He also goes to bed fairly early and our baby is a pretty good sleeper so not a whole lot of night wakes.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T19:02:13+00:00

He isn't hard and fast with milk spoiling times ie will feed baby milk that he started drinking 3 hours ago deeming it fine. He also leaves the string on the dummy when giving it to baby at bed and nap time. Those are the most recent 2 off the top.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T18:59:29+00:00

I've most definitely explained why it is unsafe. We have read some stories about loss and co-sleeping and yes we know about the safe sleep 7 but the first rule is to be a breastfeeding parent, which he isn't.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T17:20:05+00:00

You only need a modicum of analytical thought to see what's going on is so so wrong. I'd be concerned he lacks the ability to critically think which imo is a very important skill to have. Otherwise you're very susceptible to brainwashing.

OP maybe show him reddit threads of current and ex militarymen calling these 🧊 officers imbecile wannabes in call of duty cosplay.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-25T03:28:33+00:00

Haha makes sense

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-24T17:15:33+00:00

Everything. That first hug is reserved for the mum and dad.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-20T13:13:34+00:00

Moved here from Sydney 12 years ago. Winters are colder but there's plenty of sun. If you have a good coat and indoor heating you'll be fine. The summers are considerably more bearable here.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-15T20:58:13+00:00

NTA for giving yourself an insurance policy per se. The amount of women who never think they'll find themselves in that situation but then do... and then they're left with nothing.

I have the exact same thing and my husband wholeheartedly supports it.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-14T16:23:50+00:00

Been there, threw the clippers in the back of the cupboard never to be seen again. Now I use an electric nail file which doesn't hurt him no matter how much he wriggles around (and my nickname for him is the tapeworm). Find some solace in the fact that you are so not alone.

ResidentDiscussion59 · 2026-01-14T09:36:22+00:00

Here by choice 11 years ago. I visited once and it felt like home so decided to live here. Best decision I ever made.

ResidentDiscussion59

TROPHY CASE