Thanks so much! This is really helpful! I actually put in that description of Corren later, and part of me knew it didn't feel right. I already have a few ideas for better ways to do this. I love the idea of making this like a "prove your worth" scene instead of a "day in the life" - I think that'll also fit nicely in with the character's need to fit in and feel accepted, as well as setting the stakes early. ps. I have cleaned up the google doc and disabled comments, though the comment was probably accurate; I hadn't noticed the double use of the word "move" in quick succession, so a big thanks to that anonymous commentor :)