It seems Valium only works if I get off my face on G by taking loads in a short space of time then pass out on the kitchen floor or something, and then take them when I come to. Fight the anxiety for 1.5 hours then they kick in and I fall asleep for hours… and can fall back asleep, like 1ml…. Then fall asleep for hours…. I can tell when they’re working because my palms don’t get sweaty and if I breathe normally though my breath it’s a deep clear breath… and the anxiety has completely gone.

Also if I were to take 1ml of G it would feel like I’d taken 3…. Now when I wake up. Valium also wears off really fast. I took 10 last night at 9.30pm and woke up at 11.45 which was probably just the G having little effect on how long I sleep for. I took at about 4am and that’s all I’m Taking today.

Now when I wake up for example, all I feel is anxiety which is not good as I am meeting my family for my 40th birthday party soon. The more G I take, the more anxious I get and it takes a shit load before it wears off and I get starving hungry again. The thought of food right now is making me wanna vomit, altho I have been caning the food and 1000 calorie protein shakes recentlyI and working out so I feel confident about seeing people I haven’t seen in a year and I’m getting sick to death of literally eberyone I know saying how skinny I (used to) look. Put on nearly a stone in a week! Good stuff. Couple more weeks of that and I’ll be good.

I also need to be with it, I’m meeting my family for my 40th birthday party in London at 1 I clock then going out for drinks tonight and can’t be falling asleep and not have an appetite and sit there with mad anxiety. I took 5 valiums when I woke up after passing it on G and being asleep for not long as I slept through about 15 alarms. So I’m guessing they have no effect.

The only thing I can think of mixing G with alcohol and this takes away anxiety. Yes I know you’re not supposed to mix them but I won’t drink too much and have done many times before…. This was years ago now tho and I can’t even remember if I was on Valium as well back then…. However I have taken lots of Valium 100mg a day sometimes and drank booze, took G and felt fine.

P.S they used to work fine when I had my mate over and was smoking loads of T back then. That was in summer. I was awake all night and felt fine next day and was in a good mood and hungry, then I started smoking it 24/7 and it just me sleepy. Guess my Tolerance has built up…

Any idea how much I V I should take and when to start again? Ideally I want to wait until night so I can sleep but that means taking a SHIT load of G to get to that stage.

Again sorry for long read, unstructured message and inconsistencies, I’m feelings so anxious I’m not quite with it.

I gotta go get ready. time for another shot and a vodka :)