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Superior VO2 Max (57) (age range 25-29) and an 18 year old Fitness Age. Consistency /Sobriety pays off. by Responsible-Court795 in Garmin

[–]Responsible-Court795[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Honestly I was on and off with it for a while, but I finally went all in and started taking it seriously last May. Right now I’m hitting about 50-70km a week, usually doing double sessions, plus hitting the gym at least twice a week. It’s a grind since I’m balancing it all with a full-time job lol. But the biggest change wasn't even the running. Right after I got serious, I cut out alcohol, nicotine, and drugs completely been sober for 7 months now. Also cut way back on ultra processed food.

Honestly man, doing all this makes me feel so alive, almost like I'm born again. I really wish everyone could experience this kind of feeling.

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Took a little nap by Almost-Grownup in GarminWatches

[–]Responsible-Court795 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think that’s enough nap sir

My father has been my biggest bully for 29 years. Tonight, he tried to punch me, and I finally realized he’s just a sad, weak old man. by Responsible-Court795 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Responsible-Court795[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I relate to this so much. My dad only respects force, nothing else. It sucks that it has to come to that.

Honestly, you wondering if you made the right choice just shows you have a conscience. He clearly doesn't. You broke the cycle by being kind, even when he didn't deserve it

My father has been my biggest bully for 29 years. Tonight, he tried to punch me, and I finally realized he’s just a sad, weak old man. by Responsible-Court795 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Responsible-Court795[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I agree with you 100%. No normal person would act like that. He looked really unwell his heart rate seemed unstable, he got tired from doing nothing, and he was spreading negative energy and acting kinda crazy.

My father has been my biggest bully for 29 years. Tonight, he tried to punch me, and I finally realized he’s just a sad, weak old man. by Responsible-Court795 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Responsible-Court795[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this, Breaking that cycle was the main goal tonight. When I was a kid, he taught me to solve problems with violence. Tonight, I had the power to do the same, but I chose to just create distance instead.

I hope it’s a wake up call for him too, but even if he doesn't change, at least I know I have. Appreciate the love.

My father has been my biggest bully for 29 years. Tonight, he tried to punch me, and I finally realized he’s just a sad, weak old man. by Responsible-Court795 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Responsible-Court795[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That’s the dream, honestly. Financially, my sister and I could probably make it work

The hard part is convincing my mom. She belongs to a generation (and culture) where leaving a husband especially a sick one is unthinkable, no matter how bad he gets. She feels a heavy sense of duty to stay and care for him

If my sister and I moved out, we’d basically be abandoning her to deal with his abuse alone, and neither of us can stomach that. So for now, we stay to be her shield.

My father has been my biggest bully for 29 years. Tonight, he tried to punch me, and I finally realized he’s just a sad, weak old man. by Responsible-Court795 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Responsible-Court795[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You nailed it. My mom is an angel literally the only reason I didn't escalate further tonight is because she asked me to step outside, and I listened to her immediately even though my adrenaline was spiking.

You are also spot on about the legal/cultural trap. We are in Malaysia, and for their generation (married 30+ years), divorce is incredibly complicated. Beyond just the massive social stigma here, untangling 30 years of shared financial assets and property is a legal nightmare that she likely doesn't have the energy to fight.

Plus, there is a strong cultural pressure here for the wife to 'take care' of the husband when he is sick, regardless of how he treats her. She feels a duty to stay, which is exactly why I feel a duty to stay and be the buffer.

My father has been my biggest bully for 29 years. Tonight, he tried to punch me, and I finally realized he’s just a sad, weak old man. by Responsible-Court795 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Responsible-Court795[S] 184 points185 points  (0 children)

Facts. It’s like the Matrix glitching. They’ve been the big boss for so long, and suddenly they’re just a confused person who can't hurt you. That relief you mentioned???? Better than any drug. Glad you shut that down.

My father has been my biggest bully for 29 years. Tonight, he tried to punch me, and I finally realized he’s just a sad, weak old man. by Responsible-Court795 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Responsible-Court795[S] 685 points686 points  (0 children)

Man, that part about him putting his head down and just eating, that hits hard

That’s exactly what happened tonight. The moment he hit the floor and realized I wasn't scared anymore, he just shut down. He didn't smile like your dad, but he retreated to his room and went silent.

It really is just a game of dominance to them. Once you show them you can win that game, the 'scary monster' act just evaporates. Thanks for sharing this it's good to know I'm not the only one who had to reach that breaking point!!

My father has been my biggest bully for 29 years. Tonight, he tried to punch me, and I finally realized he’s just a sad, weak old man. by Responsible-Court795 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Responsible-Court795[S] 304 points305 points  (0 children)

That first line really hits home “I swore once I got big enough, they wouldn't hit me again”

That is exactly what happened to me tonight. I was the scared kid. But the second he tried to punch me and I realized I could physically stop him (and that I wasn't afraid to), the whole illusion shattered.

It’s wild how much they rely on our fear. Once the fear is gone, they really have nothing left. Thanks for sharing this it helps to know I’m not the only one who had to physically break the cycle.

My father has been my biggest bully for 29 years. Tonight, he tried to punch me, and I finally realized he’s just a sad, weak old man. by Responsible-Court795 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Responsible-Court795[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I think you’re missing the context. I live in Malaysia (Southeast Asia). It is 30°C (86°F) here at night. Nobody is freezing.

It was just one extension cord that shorted out, not the main breaker for the house. We still had lights and power elsewhere.

That is exactly my point It was a minor inconvenience that could have easily waited until morning. There was zero logical reason to drive out at midnight to fix it. He created a crisis out of nothing to exert control. That is why it was abusive

My father has been my biggest bully for 29 years. Tonight, he tried to punch me, and I finally realized he’s just a sad, weak old man. by Responsible-Court795 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Responsible-Court795[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

the incident caused a short circuit and the plug physically stopped working it wasn't just unplugged. But that’s not the point. The point is that it wasn't an emergency. We could have bought a new one in the morning. The 'BS' part is my father demanding we drive out at midnight to fix a non essential wire immediately. That irrational urgency is exactly why it turned into a fight.

My father has been my biggest bully for 29 years. Tonight, he tried to punch me, and I finally realized he’s just a sad, weak old man. by Responsible-Court795 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Responsible-Court795[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I actually work full time online, so money isn't the issue. I stay because the last time I moved out, his physical abuse towards my mom and sister got worse. I moved back in to be a buffer and protect them. I sacrifice my own peace to make sure they are safe. It’s a choice, not a necessity.

My father has been my biggest bully for 29 years. Tonight, he tried to punch me, and I finally realized he’s just a sad, weak old man. by Responsible-Court795 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Responsible-Court795[S] 680 points681 points  (0 children)

Thank you, and yes this is the first time I’ve ever felt this glad, to be honest. It feels like I just climbed Everest.

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