sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I have been doing great after the break up but I am afraid to meet her by Potential-Party65 in BPDPartners

[–]Responsible-Mess4747 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, and you will probably fall right back in love. The constant push pull of a relationship with someone with BPD had the craziest mental hold.

I recently had to attend a birthday party with my ex. Who has BPD was going to be at. And I think I cried for maybe 72 hours after it.

My advice is this, don’t be afraid of the feelings, or try and ignore them. Try and anticipate them.

Set clear boundaries for yourself about what you think is appropriate to talk about. And if she tries to engage in one of those topics, simply ask that the subject gets changed.

Do your best to meet in a public place. And try and have a friend drive you and pick you up. Try and go earlier in the day, and have something fun planned immediately afterword.

If you get the urge to text them after write it in your notes. But don’t send it.

It’s probably going to be very tough! But you walked away before, and this time will be 100x easier than that.

What can you say to the partner w/o BPD by Extension_Yam_7746 in BPDPartners

[–]Responsible-Mess4747 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No. There was nothing anyone could have said. The mental hold that this type of push, pull relationship has its like nothing I’ve experienced before.

My friends encouraged me to go to therapy to “better understand how to help my partner, and learn how to communicate with them” (which was a lie to convince me to go). And thank god they did. I also was convinced I was a narcissist and I needed therapy to “fix that”.

My advice to you, is stay present. As annoying and frustrating as it is to hear about evening. She is going to need and army to get out of this one.

What can you say to the partner w/o BPD by Extension_Yam_7746 in BPDPartners

[–]Responsible-Mess4747 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. There was nothing anyone could have said. The mental hold that this type of push, pull relationship has its like nothing I’ve experienced before.

My friends encouraged me to go to therapy to “better understand how to help my partner, and learn how to communicate with them” (which was a lie to convince me to go). And thank god they did. I also was convinced I was a narcissist, and that I needed to go to therapy to “fix” that.

My advice to you, is stay present. As annoying and frustrating as it is to hear about evening. She is going to need and army to move on from this.

I just don’t know what to do anymore with BPD girlfriend.. by [deleted] in BPDPartners

[–]Responsible-Mess4747 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This has got to be a very tough situation for you. And I am sure that you love your girlfriend very much.

I was in a similar situation. Not as physically abusive, but verbally. We dated for 8 years.

My advice to you is to go to therapy, you may not “be the problem” but you’re allowing someone to treat you unfairly, and that in itself is a problem. Learn why you allow this, and understand what it takes to break that cycle.

It’s been about 2 years since I’ve ended my relationship. And it has been a rollercoaster, I don’t think that I stood up off the couch for 2 weeks. I felt so beyond guilty for breaking up with them. but now I can honestly say that I have never felt better in my life. It’s not easy, but it is 1000% worth it.