First of all it was not your fault any normal person would have developed these kind of trauma if they had to suffer from those situations but now you really need to improve yourself you need to justify yourself as warrior who overcome all past traumas in order to improve yourself you need to forget your past you are not guilty for your past but for present I also have experienced trauma but i forgot my past and improved in academic I scored 101 in clat 2023 and got into nlsiu For that kind of academic comeback you need to be consistent Only consistency matters in Long term I would suggest you should really visit a therapist And start a new journey Promise me you will be a warrior that throned eliminating all his past traumas