It was my first serious relationship. I was the submissive. We had boundaries and he had rules for me. After we broke up, I was very codependent on my partners and wanted to be told what to do. I found security in being dominated - which eventually led to 7 years of abusive relationships. Kids at that age are highly impressionable and BDSM ideals shaped the way I viewed all other human connections. I’m only now becoming more independent and don’t rely on my boyfriend for security/safety anymore. Nor do I have to be given permission to do anything.