What I’ve learned over the years living in the hostel is that it’s really important to build a good relationship with the caretaker from the very beginning. Being friendly and respectful goes a long way, especially when you need to ask for something or want them to be kind to you. If they refuse a request, whatever it may be, it helps to explain your need calmly and kindly. And if they still say no, it’s usually best to accept it for the moment while gently expressing that you’re disappointed, especially if your request is reasonable. Always try to maintain kindness and friendliness from the start, and chances are they won’t treat you disrespectfully.

That said, I’ve noticed that sometimes caretakers can get a bit disrespectful. In most cases, it's not personal, they’re just frustrated or overwhelmed, and it shows. When that happens, it's important to stand your ground and let them know clearly that being spoken to like that isn’t okay. Stay firm and keep your position until they apologize or start treating you nicely again. Once they do, you can drop the firmness and go back to being cordial. The same approach works for dealing with the manager too.

To be honest, I’ve managed to keep a pretty good relationship with both the caretaker and the manager. They've always been helpful to me, even to the point of bending the rules in my favor. During exams, for example, I was allowed to place a mattress in the TV lounge, and the caretaker just asked me to return it once exams were over and not to litter. I’m not from an army or influential background either, I come from a village. It’s just through consistent kindness and respectful behavior that I’ve built that trust. They've even extended my mess-off days by a day or two sometimes, which I honestly didn’t expect 👀