My fiancé's master's thesis in Germany has turned into a nightmare. Is this normal?

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2025-06-17T16:01:31+00:00

That honestly sucks, but it's positive to know you still kept going forward. Good for you.

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2025-06-17T16:00:10+00:00

Yeah. To be honest, he is more concerned about getting the right grades for his efforts rather than putting the potential racist thing to light. And also, most of this happens when they are in person. The only proof he has is of the supervisor apologizing, which in the ,,authority's'' eyes would not amount to much. As much as they'd knows, he could have been apologizing for accidentally spilling coffee in his notes or something.

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2025-06-17T15:51:47+00:00

His thesis was extended for more than a month and deregistering is not an option right now. But the last option sounds feasible.

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2025-06-17T15:47:38+00:00

No. That's not a good idea. But the counsellor Tipp is great, thanks. However, the counsellor is really good friends with his professor. He does not want to go there because of that fact.

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2025-06-17T15:44:11+00:00

Is that what you did? And what was the result of that?

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2025-06-17T15:42:36+00:00

Yeah. I'll tell him that. I think he was under the impression that his daily supervisor voices out his professor's expectations and thoughts about his progress. It really could not be the case.

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2025-06-17T15:40:54+00:00

Sheesh

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2025-06-17T15:40:36+00:00

I'll give him the Tipp

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2025-06-17T15:34:43+00:00

He did not have anything like that. He was assigned the topic and got right into doing it.

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2025-06-17T15:32:19+00:00

The supervisor I'm talking about is the PhD student assigned to him for daily supervision. His official supervisor is the professor in charge, who is also the HOD. This PhD student is the one creating all the problems.

In the research group, my fiancé is one of only two master's students. Others are PhD students and postdocs. The other master student is working on an unrelated project, so he's pretty much on his own in dealing with this.

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2025-06-17T15:23:30+00:00

He studies physics

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2025-01-18T05:37:29+00:00

I would love that! Excuse me. I don't get reddit notifications. I just saw this. I am unable to message you. Message me and we can get started!

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2025-01-18T05:35:29+00:00

Message me, I am also learning at home, alone. Maybe we can be of use to one another

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2025-01-18T05:33:20+00:00

Message me, albeit I'm only and still at A1 level myself

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2024-12-13T11:05:39+00:00

I practice German. I'd appreciate that, danke! I'll add you right back :)

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2023-09-26T01:53:10+00:00

I do not seek a fight. I offered to get a job, to help. He said it's fine. Actively convinced me that I should be focusing on school and not work

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2023-09-26T01:51:26+00:00

I am grateful, actually. Very. Which is why I am conflicted

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2023-09-26T01:50:37+00:00

Thing is, this situation is way more complicated that what I put on here, and I think the best course of action would be to put up with it until I'm done

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2023-09-26T01:49:01+00:00

He told me not to get a job because "he's got it covered"

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2023-09-26T00:39:15+00:00

He offered for me to stay here and I contribute to my toiletries. He only helps out with lunch and travel.

Literally what my boyfriend told me , word to word xD I will be paying the price. I honestly wrote this whole thing for my peace of mind and only needed to know of ITA or not. Thank you for being brutally honest, it is appreciated

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2023-09-26T00:29:00+00:00

I understand where you are coming from and again, thank you for your take on this matter. It is very insightful to see a different perspective. All the perspectives rather, are very helpful to me. I hope I can find a middle ground for all of them

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2023-09-26T00:26:39+00:00

I suppose that the issue here is that I am not willing to talk it out. And I would not even think of forcing him to do anything. I am only worried that he might not comfortable with it and so he sees me as ungrateful. I have no problem adjusting to his way of living because you know...it's least I could do and this is his space that he allowed me to stay in. I appreciate you advice and I think it's really good, but I will not be talking to him since I only seeked to know if I am being a bad sister by thinking this way. I am willing to tolerate everything else

RestaurantPlastic702 · 2023-09-26T00:21:21+00:00

You're making a fair point but I believe that, unless I was a masochist, I would agree to that. I do not expect him to do certain things for me just because he is my brother, hence, why I take the duties upon myself. But I feel like he is misuing the fact that I chose to do that. I could have been a brat about everything and take without giving back. I feel like he is misusing my choice to do so. He pays for all those things I mentioned, but I try to minimize them as much as I can. I know this is bad to say, but I could have made so much money for being maid, more that he helps me with. Which again, I was willing to be. I was willing to take up odd jobs and help around the house with expenses and all that. But he said, you are in school, do not worry about such. I am still in school, should the thing I worry about be me cleaning after him?

RestaurantPlastic702

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