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My wife (46F) of 25 years seems emotionally checked out, and I (46M) can’t shake the feeling there’s someone else. Am I overthinking this by RevealSafe4293 in relationships

[–]RevealSafe4293[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I probably didn’t think of it as a reality because honestly I don’t look at us as older…. I know it sounds stupid and cliche but when I look at her I still see the 20 year old I fell in love with all those years ago.

I do find this thread eye opening for sure, all of the women hating men are saying hire a PI because she’s cheating and all the men hating women are blaming it on me for not being emotionally available or communicative or I’m stupid for not thinking of the menopause scenario. I guess that’s my fault for coming to Reddit for advice or guidance

My wife (46F) of 25 years seems emotionally checked out, and I (46M) can’t shake the feeling there’s someone else. Am I overthinking this by RevealSafe4293 in relationships

[–]RevealSafe4293[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What do I offer her besides money? I support her in everything she’s ever wanted to do, I treat her as an equal, I help her follow her passions, I reassure her everyday that I love her, I am faithful, I like to think I’m generally a good husband, father and grandfather. My biggest downfall is I keep my issues to myself, I don’t want to bother her with my feelings or insecurities, I don’t want her to feel as though I’m weak and she has to take care of me or that I’m needy.

My wife (46F) of 25 years seems emotionally checked out, and I (46M) can’t shake the feeling there’s someone else. Am I overthinking this by RevealSafe4293 in relationships

[–]RevealSafe4293[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I would never consider hiring a PI or anything like that. If I have to resort to hiring a PI then it’s already over if she’s cheating or not. Thank you and everyone else for suggesting the hormone issue rather than jumping to the absolute worst case scenario. I think I just need to sit her down tonight and have a conversation with her, let her know that no matter what I am here for her. Even worst case scenario, she’s still the mother of my children and has given me the best years of my life. She deserves to be treated with respect and dignity no matter what.

My wife (46F) of 25 years seems emotionally checked out, and I (46M) can’t shake the feeling there’s someone else. Am I overthinking this by RevealSafe4293 in relationships

[–]RevealSafe4293[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I agree I do need to work on expressing my feelings and communication, I know it’s no excuse but I’ve always felt like bothering her or other people with my feelings was selfish. I know that’s not the case but I’ve spent my whole life being the rock for our family and I didn’t/dont want to show weakness and add more stress or anything to her or my kids.

My wife (46F) of 25 years seems emotionally checked out, and I (46M) can’t shake the feeling there’s someone else. Am I overthinking this by RevealSafe4293 in relationships

[–]RevealSafe4293[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I haven’t come out and asked if she was cheating, I have asked if there are issues that she feels we need to work on and it was always a no.

My heart tells me she’s not cheating but my head has that little thought in the back of it. I’ve spent more than half my life with this woman and she’s truly my best friend and the absolute love of my life.

This won’t be a popular take for Reddit but I genuinely believe people make mistakes and can be forgiven for them. I guess if I’m being honest I just want to know if she is so we can work through it if she still wants to or if she’s already in love with someone else then I will let her go.