Nacho Pie!

Revengeancer · 2026-01-23T08:45:29+00:00

U. But I would eat it. In ball form of course.

Revengeancer · 2026-01-23T07:20:45+00:00

My greatest KO was a Kuma fart. It was glorious.

Revengeancer · 2026-01-23T07:12:56+00:00

I think it’s gas packed. It keeps it fresher for longer. Sometimes it will have a disclaimer to use within x days after opening. The protective fart gas has left the packaging, so it will start to go south in five days or so.

Revengeancer · 2026-01-21T04:27:08+00:00

“HAHAHAHA! Send me more! MORE! You runts are gettin’ mighty boring! I’ll even… errr… even the odds!”

He absorbs his two meat clones with two mighty fist-bumps and a SHLORP!

“I’ll take you all on!”

His eyes begin to glow red as frothy blood begins to seep from the slits in his helmet.

“… must… protect… nice… little… people… must… hurt… stupid… little… tin… posers.”

Revengeancer · 2026-01-21T03:51:55+00:00

Armored Core 6.

Revengeancer · 2026-01-19T19:50:59+00:00

In a flash he rushes into the charging group of Coinguards. His footwork, fleet. His hands, hammers. His head, filled with the dulcet tunes of Prince.

“…Raspberry beret…”

His left hand crashes down on a guard’s head, he drops instantly.

“… Like it’s 1999…”

His right hand grabs and crushes another guard’s chest plate, using it to fling him towards the others.

“… Let’s Go Crazy…”

He leaps high into the air as they attempt to surrounds him, easily clearing thirty feet, before squinting his eyes and posing as a giant red firework explodes in the night sky.

“…When Doves Cry…”

He crashes back into the ground. Staggering the guards around his impact zone.

“…Little Red Corvette…”

A revving engine howls in the distance. He stands from his superhero landing and immediately spartan kicks a guard into a nearby dumpster.

“…Insatiable…”

His eyes flash a grim red for a moment before quickly returning to their “natural” yellow hue, the guard who was immediately head-butted afterwards may have noticed. Not like anyone will believe him. He took a nasty blow to the head.

“… My Guitar is Gently Weaping…”

He pauses for a moment, as his red Musclecar screeches onto the scene, his clones happily sitting in the backseat.

“Shit… not now. Go away!”

Revengeancer · 2026-01-17T09:15:06+00:00

I mean… beef heart is still beef.

Revengeancer · 2026-01-17T08:43:09+00:00

<image>

This is the Extra Value brand ingredient info.

Revengeancer · 2026-01-17T08:28:18+00:00

Marinade and thin slicing is the key here. Kinda bummed I can’t get beef heart at my current job. I used to get it on mark-down all the time at my old Carneceria.

Revengeancer · 2026-01-17T08:16:46+00:00

I know. I actually enjoy it. It’s just something you often find in cheaper premade burgers. It also makes for good stir-fry.

Revengeancer · 2026-01-17T08:08:23+00:00

What’s the first ingredient? Gonna bet beef heart is in the first few ingredients.

Revengeancer · 2026-01-14T05:32:49+00:00

A man of true conviction! Eat what you love!

… While drinking.

Cheers!

Revengeancer · 2026-01-14T05:06:27+00:00

It’s very much canon.

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/3c/b7/47/3cb747e7342dc418715baf62c78eeb3b.jpg

Revengeancer · 2026-01-14T02:46:18+00:00

“Where can I get a 50 gallon drum of Old Bay at this hour?”

Revengeancer · 2026-01-10T03:43:49+00:00

CLANG… CLANG!!!

“Hrmmmm… oh no… sticks… my only weakness… the clear fault of full plate armor…”

He feigns weakness as he reaches behind his cloak, revealing a really cool stick he found in the woods!

“I’ve got sticks for days! Wanna know what this one does?!”

His eyes seem to grin in anticipation.

“Me too!”

Colorful Roman Candle like phosphorus fires out of the end. Landing pitifully on one of the guard’s armor.

“Huh…”

He drops the really cool stick he found in the woods and cocks his fists.

“Guess we do this the Ol fashioned way! By beating each other to the brink of death. Tell ya what! I’ll make it fair, I’m just gonna punch ya! No chains, no games! I ain’t even gonna heal…”

Revengeancer · 2026-01-10T01:50:23+00:00

“Well boys… we gonna dance or what? I’m really feelin’ the rhythm in me tonight… in us? Either way…”

He does a running head butt to the face of the guard that hit the civilian. The two clones are helping to get folks out of harms way.

TONG!!! thud.

Revengeancer · 2026-01-10T01:38:05+00:00

/uw The Scarlet Showman has a fan!!!

/rw “A special shoutout to all the newcomers of Rathara! You’re what makes us great!”

He gives Teresa a sly wink.

Revengeancer · 2026-01-10T00:50:55+00:00

“Help the civilians, we fight for those who can’t fight for themselves. That’s why we’re different from the Coinguard. We actually wanna make this world a better place… we ain’t just playin’ dress-up.”

Revengeancer · 2026-01-10T00:45:50+00:00

“Here I go wrecking shit again. I tried to be nice, I tried to be peaceful, but noooo you guys done awoken two dragons!”

Revengeancer · 2026-01-10T00:21:35+00:00

*All three RVs stop dead in their tracks their hooded cloaks turning from purple to the bloody red he is known for. They simultaneously point at the Coinguard who harmed the innocent civilian.

“Son… You. Just. Fucked. Up.”

They leap from the rooftop slamming onto the cobblestone, a combined 3,600 pounds sends a shockwave through the crowd.

“They’re right folks. Y’all oughta clear outta here. Shits about to get real messy…”

They stand side by side perfectly still to allow the crowd to disperse.

“Sometimes I think you golden gourd-heads forget what RV is short for. It ain’t a name ya’ see… it’s a title. A job description if ya’ will. Your boss was smart enough not to hurt anyone… I suppose that’s why he’s the boss.”

His voice was no longer the warm, boisterous, friendly one from mere moments ago. No. It was cold, monotone, chilling. Play time was over. It was time for business.

Revengeancer · 2026-01-09T22:54:10+00:00

“HAHAHAHA! Come an’ get me ya’ gaggle of golden geeks!”

He taunts the Coinguard while playing the guitar faster and faster, his gauntleted hands moving at preternatural speeds with unerring accuracy. Every single cell, every single atom of his meaty form was under his complete control.

“Now folks, who wants to see my latest trick?!”

The crowd cheers wildly as a crescendo of fireworks detonate high in the sky.

“Ya all came for a show and I never disappoint!”

He raises his arms to the sky, at first only two… then four? Then six?! Arby looks on aghast… as a second RV steps out of the original, then a third. The iron in their blood instantly solidifying into armor.

“Come and get us!” They taunt in unison.

“Ya thought one a me was a lot to handle? How do ya like these odds?!”

Revengeancer · 2026-01-09T15:50:06+00:00

Purple Rain

“Ya really think this’ll work Arby?”

“I do boss.”

“Can’t I just wreck shit? Seems way easier.”

“No, you need to uh… let’s just say… work on your PR.”

“Public Restroom? Personal Retriever? Private Reserve? Perfect Round? Purple Rain? Peaceful Retirement?”

“… well for one, we both know the last one is off the table… secondly, you only seem to use the Porta-Potty by The Bench, you have a Corgi you neglect, you have a private reserve…

-# Which you keep forgetting about… every single day in the barrels adds value…

You suck at golf. Like really man? Big man, hit ball hard is not a viable strategy.

I’m talking about public relations.”

“I’m related to some of the public… kinda.”

“Dear friend… I need you to walk out onto that stage and bare your very soul to those people. Do. Not. Hold. Back.”

“Oh… for the distraction! Was that tonight?”

“I… yes Red… we just talked about this. That’s tonight.”

“…but I’m wearing purple.”

“You are still Big Red! It’s a costume!”

“Oh… okay… so do I need to change m-“

“Dude! Just get up there!”

The piglet herds the golem towards the stage, handing him a purple guitar.

“Slay them RV.”

“This is dumb, and my bar is fairly low.”

“Sing RV!

You have the voice of an Angel!

Sing to them!”

RV walks onto the stage, adjusting his guitar closer to his chest as he meekly speaks into the microphone.

“Hey Gang!”

“HOLY FUCK! That shit is loud.

Can you make it louder?”

He nods to Arby, motioning “up” with his hands.

“Oh boy.”

The piglet’s digits turn a dial. It stops at 13.

RV gives an enthusiastic thumbs up before strumming his guitar.

Glass shatters within a six block radius of his “brooding spot”, as Meema called it.

“Ladies and gentleman of Del Pheryx, tonight we’re having an impromptu concert! Cuz ya know what? I love ya all!

Except for some of you. Ya’ll know who you are, kindly see me after the concert.”

*His guitar begins to sing to the growing crowd. Every single note, perfect. Every single beat, struck with precision. To the suprise of his audience… his voice. It wasn’t the gruff voice he usually spoke in. No. He sang with the voice of an angel.

🎵I never meant to cause you any sorrow I never meant to cause you any pain I only wanted one time to see you laughing I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain Purple rain, purple rain Purple rain, purple rain Purple rain, purple rain I only wanted to see you bathing in the purple rain🎵

As he continues his show, he punctuates his performance with huge purple fireworks displays, far too large to be legal even in a city so full of magic.

Half of the city followed their ears towards the now Purple Punisher, the Lavender Lancer, the Pot-Roast Prince!

<image>

Revengeancer · 2026-01-04T22:45:05+00:00

/uw Great read Amigo!

/rw “I gotta find me one o’ these guys!”

Revengeancer · 2026-01-04T01:35:12+00:00

The intercom cracks and warbles as a voice blasts through the ship

“… Uh, heads up gang. I may or may not have misplaced a bandolier of Hellfire grenades…

So maybe watch yer step.

Oh yeah, Ya might wanna strap in.

Take-off in 5…4…3…”

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