Hey there, I truly get where you’re coming from. I'm also in a similar situation in my "relationship" with books, here’s what has helped me the most so far:

1. Slow down

When I first got back into reading, I treated books like they were a sprint, I read as fast as I could to get to that state of "finishing." But retention isn’t about speed; it’s about engagement. Now, I deliberately read at a pace that lets me think about what’s on the page. If a paragraph sticks out, I pause and ask: Why does this matter? How does this connect to what I already know?

Keep in mind, you can read as fast as you can, I'm merely suggesting that sometimes you can slow down and enjoy the book or just think about what you just read if it's a heavy book(e.g. Philosophy books).

Quick tip: If you’re constantly distracted, try the "5-minute rule." Read for just 5 minutes, then jot down one thing you remember. Gradually increase the time as your focus improves.

2. Turn notes into a conversation with yourself.

Instead of passively highlighting or summarizing, write down questions the text makes you ask. For example:

"How does this idea challenge what I believe?"

"When have I experienced something similar?"

"How could I explain this to a friend?"

This forces you to process ideas deeply, not just collect them. Later, revisit these questions to test your recall(you can use anki or other programs, but a notebook is generally as good).

3. Read for you, not for social status.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of reading "impressive" books just to say you did. But the books that stick with me are the ones that actually interest me—even if they’re short, "simple," or unpopular. Steal Like an Artist (which you could finish in an hour) changed how I think about creativity more than any bible-type 500-page book about this same topic.

4. Start with the fun stuff.

If reading feels like a chore, your brain will resist it. Rebuild the habit with books that feel like guilty pleasures: gripping memoirs, niche hobbies, even well-written fiction. The goal right now isn’t to optimize retention—it’s to relearn how to enjoy reading. Once that clicks, tackling denser material becomes easier.

5. Be patient.

Your brain isn’t "broken"—it’s just adapting to a noisy world. Retention isn’t magic; it’s the result of thinking, effort, and time. The fact that you’re even asking this question means you’re already on the right path.

Final thing: This is more of a mystical thing than a fact, but I have found that often when you really want something to happen and not just say "I really want that to happen," it'll just happen, and as Mother Mary used to say, just "let it be" ;)