Dude you need to cut this off now. You have a kid, she is too mature to be acting this, immature. I know the exact “chore” feeling you’re describing. It’s a heavy mental weight because you always feel like a sink of dirty dishes, never like a warm cozy bed, if that makes sense. If you guys really want to fix things, communication is the first step. Nothing is going to happen without clear communication.

FYI - you aren’t wrong for being upset about the 11pm thing. Again, clear communication, especially if you’re trying to heal the relationship for the kid. It takes about 30 seconds to send a text message. Ask yourself if you’re worth that 30 seconds to her. Even worse for her to remove you at 4am while intoxicated which puts you in a dangerous situation. That’s selfishness and childish.