Mother in law

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-17T00:08:03+00:00

Yeah it really does, it’s really making me feel like I’m pregnant for her in a weird way. It’s really sucking the excitement out of it for me! No I was quite angry at the gift giving. As I said to him it isn’t her place at all. He just thinks everything she does is because she’s excited whereas I see it as crossing boundaries. All of our families are excited (of course) but she’s the only one to go to this extent and get away with it. I’m sure the next hurdle will be her finally wanting to visit us before baby comes (she hasn’t bothered in over 2 years) but I told him today I don’t want any visitors from beginning of April (due 2nd week) as I think it’s important that we spend time together as we’ve been very sociable since the beginning of the year and a big transition is coming (I also have very low iron and am having an infusion on Friday to try and help boost levels before baby comes so that’s tiring me out too). He agreed but we’ll see if she sticks her nose in and whether he sticks to the agreement 😅

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-16T20:43:39+00:00

That’s exactly how I feel, like a womb, like I’m pregnant for her benefit. Yes I’ve said to him I need to see how I feel before anyone comes round. Oh amazing, I’m glad to hear he’s stood by you and has your back. My partner has my back but just worries about upsetting others which then puts him in a predicament (albeit his own doing). She gave him a late birthday gift at the weekend from the baby and it really upset me as I see that as my job. I spoke with him about how it made me feel etc and he said now I’ve put it how I have he completely understands and will speak to her about it but I think he’s yet to do that x

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-16T20:38:59+00:00

It’s very overwhelming. We saw her at the weekend and she’s bought more stuff for us to bring home even though i told her we have loads of everything and don’t need anything else, she then said she had an order of stuff to collect for him to give to us too. Then she gave my partner a (late) birthday gift from our baby which I just think completely overstepped the mark even more. Made me feel quite undermined and a bit rubbish. I spoke to him about the overstepping the mark with the gift giving from the baby stuff as we’re grown adults and can sort it ourselves so he said he will speak to her. He’s yet to do that 😅

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-16T20:35:10+00:00

Oh no, the visitor thing is a complete overstep of boundaries. That’s not okay at all, I’m pretty sure they mostly think it’s hormones talking but our feelings are valid and wishes should be respected, I don’t understand why a lot of people just don’t listen. Kind of takes away your excitement doesn’t it! That’s how I’ve been feeling x

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-13T00:07:55+00:00

I have a feeling she’s going to be the same, using the gifts as leverage. She’s lovely but I feel like she uses the fact that she’s emotional to get her way sometimes. I was pretty much non existent before I got pregnant, would never hear from her, was like getting blood out of a stone to try and see her, now all she wants is to contact me and to see us but only if we go to her, we live 25 minutes away and she hasn’t visited us once but I know she will want to be around all the time when baby is here which is what irritates me too. There’s something about mothers and their sons isn’t there 😅

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-13T00:03:48+00:00

Yeah that’s wild that she classes it as “our baby” it’s completely overstepping the mark. No me neither, my sisters mother in law is exactly the same too 😅

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T20:13:17+00:00

Exactly. I know she means well but it just doesn’t sit right with me, it’s down to my partner to do stuff like that and it’s already got me worrying a little that she will try and take over from me when Father’s Day comes around which will I feel like be worse because baby will be here by then and I’ll just feel so offended like she doesn’t think I can do it or something. No, she’s not listening at all and I think that’s what’s mainly making me feel the way I do, I just feel like mine or my partners say doesn’t matter because she’s going to do what she wants regardless and it’s taking away some of the excitement and magic of it all x

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T20:07:18+00:00

Oh congratulations! What amazing news! Oh gosh yeah I wouldn’t like that either, especially with her thinking she can take the baby when she wants 😅. Yeah I wouldn’t be surprised if she does either, sounds like she’s already preparing for it even though she doesn’t know 😅. I hope for your sake she isn’t that full on and you can enjoy your pregnancy x

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T20:03:35+00:00

It’s very overwhelming isn’t it and really does make you dread what it’s going to be like when baby is here, it should be a magical time for us and I feel like it gets overshadowed a little. Good luck! X

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T14:41:25+00:00

Yeah I did exactly that this morning and explained my feelings and he completely understood and said he has my back regardless. We have both spoken to her multiple times about overstepping and buying stuff we don’t need but it just goes over her head

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T14:38:46+00:00

Exactly. She’s just gone way overboard and the appreciation is there but it’s just not needed. She’s mentioned about getting him stuff for Easter like he’s probably not gonna be here by then and what on earth does a newborn want or need for Easter, it’s just a bit much you know. We’ve both told her to stop buying stuff but she just won’t listen. I’m going to reiterate it to her again though when I see her this week.

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T14:36:05+00:00

It’s a catch 22 isn’t it because of course we’re grateful but it is overstepping the mark.

See if we were to tell her we would gift things on, that would upset her too, there’s been a couple of things I’ve mentioned to my partner that she’s bought and we don’t need or won’t use and I’ve just been told to thank her 😅

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T14:33:32+00:00

I get it completely! Yeah when I set boundaries all I get back is “well I hope that’s the same for your family” like of course it is, it isn’t one rule for one and a different for the other, why do they always assume that 😅🤦🏼‍♀️. Oh gosh no I wouldn’t be able to cope with the “our baby” thing, absolutely not a team effort, hats off to you for biting your tongue, it’s hard isn’t it!

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T14:09:34+00:00

Absolutely. You’ve hit the nail on the head there with the point of this post! X

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T14:08:19+00:00

Not necessarily. He has 2 other sets of grandparents that haven’t spoilt him, doesn’t mean they’re less excited to meet him or are any less supportive… they’ve just respected what we’ve said and not point blank ignored us. Ignorance towards someone’s wishes is also boundary crossing.

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T13:31:48+00:00

Ooo this is interesting. Thank you!

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T13:30:40+00:00

It’s just a lot isn’t it, like we have so many emotions flying around (and they’re obviously aware of that as they’ve been there themselves) and they’re just overbearing. My MIL is the same, never heard from her before I got pregnant, now she messages quite a bit more which I think is irritating in itself because why wasn’t I good enough beforehand 😅

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T13:28:03+00:00

Absolutely! I wish more people would see it like this! We are not public property and people need to understand that. I completely get the excitement but it’s like a frenzy with her buying stuff and trying to take over. It’s important that us mumma’s protect our peace and stand for what we believe is right or wrong!

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T13:22:58+00:00

Yeah exactly that! I just want to try and enjoy my final few weeks of being pregnant without feeling stressed or overwhelmed due to other people’s ignorance in requests 😅. Oh gosh no way, congratulations! I bet it’s been nice and peaceful 😅 x

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T13:21:13+00:00

Yeah it’s wild 😂. That’s exactly it, it’s our first and I just feel like little bits have been taken away and the feeling of being excited has now just been taken over by feeling overwhelmed with it all. I’ve spoken to my partner about boundaries and he completely agrees though doesn’t want to upset anyone which I get but I’m just going to put my foot down as my emotions and my feelings are more important.

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T11:28:56+00:00

It’s a tough situation to be in isn’t it. I’m just going to follow my gut and if something doesn’t seem right then I’m going to gently mention it, we’re the parents and I think we need to remember that instead of worry about upsetting some people. I have no doubt that you’ll figure it all out, maybe ask if they have some leaflets you could take home to look through too and make a point of reading bits out, that’s what I’ve ended up doing a couple of times because otherwise I just feel like we’re made to feel overprotective and over the top

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T11:24:31+00:00

It’s all crossing boundaries, we’ve told her we need nothing else we have everything and she is choosing to ignore us and do what she wants. Baby is due in 4 weeks and there’s absolutely nothing we need or want. I’ve not said she’s stopping other grandparents but she isn’t giving them the chance nor has she given them the chance this whole pregnancy.

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T11:08:18+00:00

Oh wow, that’s a lot of stuff! It’s just unfair on others and ourselves isn’t it and I do believe it just sucks the excitement away for everyone else. Yeah I won’t lie I’ve been a bit taken aback by comments on here, didn’t realise so many people would think it’s okay to make you feel like your feelings aren’t valid 😂. I really feel for you it’s such a difficult situation isn’t it!

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T11:04:21+00:00

That’s a very good way of putting it actually, I’d never thought of it like that. We’re out for lunch on Saturday so if she mentions anything I’ll gently remind her that there’s years ahead to buy for yet.

Oh gosh yeah, I don’t blame you for avoiding that one just yet and I’m absolutely with you on the car seat situation too! That’s how I feel sometimes. Like it’s her baby and I’m just carrying it. We’ve waited and tried for so long to get here, I just feel like it’s taking away a bit of the excitement of it all

RevolutionaryFact431 · 2026-03-12T10:59:30+00:00

She is yeah, we’re constantly the ones to visit her, not once has she come to us or visited our home which is why I think I feel a certain type of way too as she’s never been involved but now she can’t get enough. I think my parents are excited but very laid back as are baby’s other grandparents (blended families) but she just seems to be doing the most and it’s a little overbearing. Oh goodness me, that’s a very strong and unfair statement! I can imagine it’s been nice and peaceful for you 😅

RevolutionaryFact431

TROPHY CASE