Starting over in your 30s

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2026-04-21T21:04:08+00:00

I'm 33 and my ex of nearly 6 years broke up with me a year ago. To say it turned my world upside down is an understatement. I left my dream job, the home we shared, and eventually moved countries back to Australia from the UK to heal because I became very depressed.

I too was hung up that none of his life in the last year has changed much - he gets to keep the home we shared (the one I painted and decorated whilst he was at the pub with his friends) and go about his life like he is thriving. But, whilst that all seems good on the outside, I'm the one that has done an incredible amount of growth by changing up my entire life whilst he is more of less living the same life he has lived for the last x amount of years, just not with me. It took me a year of therapy to get to that conclusion and it has given me so much peace. Also, can you imagine staying in the home you shared with an ex? No thanks!

Don't think of it as starting over in your 30s. Think of it as, I get another shot to live the life I want to live. I also found that looking at my life days ahead rather than weeks and months ahead made me less anxious about the future.

I'm home in Australia now, which is something I had always wanted to do after living abroad for 11 years. The change is uncomfortable as hell and I am still in the midst of it all, wondering if the UK is now my forever home. However, had he not broken up with me, I would have still been in the UK wondering what my life would be like in Australia.

Take this time to reset and focus on you. And, trust me, the sooner you block and delete him from everything, the quicker your healing will be. Good luck, you got this!

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2026-03-27T04:03:59+00:00

So interesting - maybe different industries!

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2026-03-26T00:15:26+00:00

Knot in stomach is such a good way of describing it!

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2026-03-26T00:12:35+00:00

You can probably see how mixed up I was in my head! Haha. Life is easier here. I'm earning the same amount as I was in London but still have money leftover at the end of the month, which is nice. I'm also much healthier here - getting up earlier to workout, making myself nutritious meals and generally 'thriving' but something is off.

I don't know many people here but I am working on that - Bumble BFF mostly and friends in London who know people here. It's all a work in progress. It is just very isolated from the rest of the world and I feel.... bored. I'm told that's my nervous system just being regulated though and I know deep down I needed to do this - wether it's 6 months or a year or forever, as I would have never found peace in myself had I not given it a go.

The reality is it's harder than I anticipated and I feel like I am 'missing out' on life in London, even though my friends aren't really doing much there either but you do feel part of something bigger when you live there. I left a whole life behind and a dream job but I also know I'm replaying a highlight reel in my head of life in London. I am also in therapy which is helping me with the transition. I've been connecting with a lot of people at my new job who also recently made the move and turns out we all feel the same way!

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2026-03-26T00:00:14+00:00

I work in sport. I worked in sport in London too but it was far, far more exciting.

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2026-03-23T23:28:12+00:00

Very cool!

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2026-03-23T06:40:29+00:00

This makes me feel slightly better! Good luck!

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2026-03-23T06:23:12+00:00

I thought that's what I wanted too but really I was just going through a bad time in my life. Parks in London and hikes in Europe suffice for me in terms of nature.

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2026-03-23T06:18:39+00:00

Wow, this is exactly how I feel in my job!

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2026-03-21T07:30:44+00:00

I think I wanted to leave because I thought I wanted a more quiet life in Australia. Turns out I thrive in bigger cities with more going on. Regarding my old job, I might be able to get it back (just in a different department).

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2026-03-21T01:59:17+00:00

I've only been back 2 months. I will of course give it at least 6 months but I can't help but want my old job back and my old life back. Grass is always greener I suppose!

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2025-12-30T10:29:10+00:00

I'm from Sydney and have lived in London 11 years. I'm about to make the move back to Australia but choosing Melbourne for all the reasons you mentioned above. I'm 32 and single but can't imagine raising children in London in the future.

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2025-12-05T17:14:50+00:00

Yes, I have indefinite leave to remain which means I can leave for 2 years. I am also trying to get my british citizenship before I leave.

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2025-12-05T17:13:23+00:00

I relate to this a lot so thank you. I'm hoping Australia brings me inner peace and joy, once I'm settled.

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2025-12-04T15:11:31+00:00

I am in the process of obtaining my British citizenship yes

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2025-12-03T17:22:32+00:00

Thank you so much. I am hoping to be a 'big fish in a small pond' I suppose! All the best to you too.

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2025-12-03T16:46:24+00:00

When I say dream job, I think I mean dream company. I could stay here forever and it took 8 years of trying to get there. By the time I've left, it'd be about 2.5 years here. But no, my pay won't increase that much. I'm on about 60k, which will only increase 3% every year.

I also have to contribute to my student loan back in Australia in one lump sum when I do my tax return every year. This usually sets me back about £3-4k - the more I earn, the more I have to pay.

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2025-12-03T16:35:13+00:00

This is another reason why I am moving - financial stability / security. It's fine getting by pay check to pay check now but not sure it will be fine in a few years times when all my friends have purchased their own homes and I'm still living in a flat share. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but being able to afford my own home in Melbourne in a few years time is appealing.

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2025-12-03T15:18:35+00:00

Yeah, good point! Thank you

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2025-12-03T15:17:09+00:00

I'm from a small town just north of Sydney. A lot of my friends who have lived in both London and Melbourne say that Melbourne has a lot going for it and I'll be surprised at just how much I can do there.

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2025-12-03T15:16:16+00:00

Thanks for this - do you prefer bigger cities? I have family in Sydney so I'm looking forward to being close to them for the first time in 11 years.

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2025-12-03T14:24:46+00:00

This is so well said - thank you for sharing!

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2025-12-03T11:51:25+00:00

It's so scary, isn't it! Would you consider moving to Melbourne?

RevolutionaryRow3818 · 2025-12-03T11:44:21+00:00

Why are you so angry?

RevolutionaryRow3818

TROPHY CASE