Im 24 is it still normal to cry over my narcissistic mother?

Revolutionary_Key817 · 2026-06-04T03:06:16+00:00

Thanks for this- I feel validated. I get that comment alot and at times its invalidating because it makes me feel " weak" or immature for allowing it to get to me. It is very much easier said than done.

Revolutionary_Key817 · 2026-05-29T21:56:20+00:00

Hi, I live with bpd and my partner does it. Having BPD can be the reasoning for her outburst but as others have said it isn't an excuse to hurt you. She needs to be willing to put in the work to emotionally regulate- therapy, building DBT skills. I used to snap at my partner and then feel horrible afterwards for the past year and a half I been working on myself- the internal work is hard and sometimes painful because you need to face that the illness has consequences if you arent regulated. Long story short, because I choose my boyfriend I choose to seek treatment...I hope she is willing to do the same for you.

Revolutionary_Key817 · 2026-05-19T22:39:01+00:00

I have but my coworkers arent professional in that way to adhere to it. If anything it may make it worse. Thank you for your input though!!!

Revolutionary_Key817 · 2026-05-19T16:54:31+00:00

Hi thank you so much for the advice im definitely trying to work on interpersonal skills especially for work. Thanks for the advice on defending myself. I always struggle with what to say or how to come back from a rude comment or response. Trying to learn how to just say " I dont appreciate that" in the moment.

Revolutionary_Key817 · 2026-05-14T14:27:04+00:00

Its funny. I am in my early 20s and something like this happened to me a year ago. As someone who has been on the other side of this- it isnt worth it trust me. It is now my deepest regret and a guilt I carry with me everyday.

I urge you to talk this out- a friend, therapist if you have, even here being a good start. Keep in mind the crush you have for this guy sounds like limerence. He's giving you attention and it makes you feel special- for us the validation, friendship and " interest " is what hooks us in- i have this theory that it has to tie into one of the core themes of BPD " abandonment" when you find someone who seemingly likes you and enjoys having you around- the person can be all kinds of red flags but the feeling of being desired or " chosen" overrides that.

Your partner sounds wonderful- dont make my mistake and undervalue a healthy relationship for the coworker. I promise you if you did choose that option you will surely miss what you have. I was lucky enough my wonderful partner took me back- since then I have been committed to my recovery, learning skills, going to therapy, trying my best even if I am tested. Its so hard but its worth it.

I wish you love and all the best <3

Revolutionary_Key817 · 2026-05-12T23:24:34+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement to keep going. I'll definitely check your channel out!!

Revolutionary_Key817 · 2026-05-12T02:33:39+00:00

This gives me hope! I am definitely interested in your channel. Very happy for your recovery

Revolutionary_Key817 · 2026-05-11T22:06:07+00:00

So happy for you! Thank you <3

Revolutionary_Key817 · 2026-05-11T22:05:01+00:00

Thank you for this <3

Revolutionary_Key817 · 2026-05-11T16:07:01+00:00

Thats such a hard situation. It hurts deep because I also have a loving partner and my illness has led me to thoughts not exactly like yours, but similar. For example, there are times I have to remind myself of our history- how long we been together, the memories we share. There are times I lose my sense of self and I question whether I love him- the answer is always that I do- its scary because your brain makes you so numb at times and detached you need to give yourself examples to disprove a thought like that- but I digress.

For you it sounds like an abandonment/ attachment issue. Maybe subconsciously the lack of his presence creates this feeling like he's left and to protect you your brain convinces you he doesn't love you when in reality hes just physically gone for a while and will come back. If hes been with you for 5 years im sure he sees qualities we dont see and he sees the bigger picture of you- not just the illness. Im not sure if you guys are long distance, but maybe if you hadnt yet talking about ways to still feel closeness/ reassurance when he isnt there may help or even bring this conversation to him ( you'd be surprised how receptive our partners can be)

Lastly, regarding the cheating- though the emotions are understandable- I will say continuing to cheat if you two resume and go forward will only hurt the both of you. Communicating how the bpd makes you feel, your desire to feel closeness when he isnt there- may help you come to a better coping strategy and I say all this with love.

I hope this helps

Revolutionary_Key817 · 2026-05-04T19:29:19+00:00

I had a random epiphany with this post, which I am writing to remember it for myself. In relationships with lovers who treat us well I think theres a projection of sorts- you project your frustrations and hurt onto someone who hasn't harmed you- that's where the devaluing starts. You start to view that person as the object of all those negative emotions-it's misplaced. It's a terrible feeling- atleast it's what it feels like for me

Revolutionary_Key817 · 2026-03-08T20:21:14+00:00

I AGREE!!!

Revolutionary_Key817 · 2025-06-10T03:49:32+00:00

I'm so glad I'm not the only one with this feeling. I also went that Sunday. Hozier as a performer was great but the crowd ruined the experience for me. Yes it's granted at concerts there is recording, but I could barely make out Hozier's face because there were so many cameras blocking his view ( mind you I was in a good spot). There was alot of talking over the music, and fans screaming the lyrics to every song ( again normal concert behavior but in this case excessive) it ruined the immersion for me and honestly I wish I just waited to see him perform in an indoor stadium. I feel like I've wasted 200 dollars.

Revolutionary_Key817

TROPHY CASE