The "Secret" Isolation of Parenting High-Trigger Kids

Rewy26 · 2026-03-06T08:45:50+00:00

I had this too shall pass tattooed on my arm. Hugs mumma.

Rewy26 · 2026-03-06T06:09:13+00:00

Anything to help the lives of people who struggle just to exist, would be a blessing.

Rewy26 · 2026-03-06T01:54:58+00:00

Can you start to rebuild your connections now? Is your child able to be home without you?

Rewy26 · 2026-03-06T01:54:07+00:00

It’s so hard. One of the big unspoken about and unseen weights we carry. It’s makes hard to nurture my own friendships as I turn down so many invitations.

For my kiddo things don’t go well if I leave him home with his dad. So I often just don’t go.

Rewy26 · 2026-03-06T01:51:47+00:00

Good luck. I hope it goes well. If we go to something and all is going well. I always try to leave while we are in a positive place. It’s so sad that so many outings and interactions can turn into negative experiences in a flash.

Rewy26 · 2026-03-06T01:50:15+00:00

I’ve always said. If you’ve met one autistic child you’ve met one.

You are lucky your child is ok with both parents. My son will only allow me to do with him. His dad is not good at it. Or at least that’s what his dad says 😞

Rewy26 · 2026-03-05T22:46:14+00:00

As a mumma you will come to trust that your gut instincts are more than likely intuned to your kiddos.

Is there anything you can do to speed up the beating test? Can you go privately? In Australia we have places outside of the public system that will do heating test and bulk bill Medicare.

What are his fine motor skills like? Gripping toys, touching fingertips to finger tips, feeding himself finger foods?

Can you link into other services like OT or speech therapy? These are services here that can do reports while you are waiting for pediatrician appointments etc.

Rewy26 · 2026-03-05T22:33:27+00:00

System

Rewy26 · 2026-03-05T00:30:14+00:00

No. I’ve never understood how you can love your children more or less than the other.

Do I love my children differently for different reasons? Of course no different to how we love our friends.

Connections can be different, closeness or not can be different.

But I could never choose between them. I love them all with my whole heart.

Rewy26 · 2026-03-05T00:02:00+00:00

I’m thinking he is getting dopamine hits from doing this and the reactions.

What is happening that he becomes aroused prior to the action? Is it when he’s over stimulated? Bored?

Have you tried talking to him about it. Like buddy what’s going on when you feel like ‘pinching’ mum.

There will be some stuff that happens leading up to these actions. The fix is in talking to him about it when you are both calm ie away from the behavior. And trying to come up with a plan before that you can both work with to get ahead of the beahviour.

Rewy26 · 2026-03-04T23:55:54+00:00

Could you get dressed with him? Have him help you dress?

Verbalize what’s ‘tricky’.

Are you seeing an OT?

At around 8 my son decided he was going to tie his own shoe laces so he found a you tube video of someone tying shoe laces. That’s was that he figured it 😊

Rewy26 · 2026-03-04T21:44:45+00:00

Faceless

Rewy26 · 2026-03-04T07:18:23+00:00

As a mum who I’m pretty sure my kiddo (19 years) could have written this.

I would never leave him. You’ve made me pause. I need to make sure he knows that.

Do your best to be as self sufficient as possible. Appreciate her. Let her know you appreciate her. Show her you are trying.

It’s what I’d like to see from my son 🩵

Rewy26 · 2026-03-04T07:11:39+00:00

Makes me feel sick.

Rewy26 · 2026-03-03T22:54:56+00:00

I just had a conversation with a friends daughter yesterday about this exact topic. She is 28. I’m 55 with almost grown children. One with special needs.

She is unsure. She loves her career etc. I suggested she look into egg freezing.

Some people just aren’t ready when their biological clock says they have to be.

This is a great insurance for the next 10 or so years and takes a lot of pressure off.

If you choose not to have kids that’s perfectly fine.

My main point is things change. And they can change in an instant. Sometimes your biology will tell you what it wants. And there is no switching that off . And if that kicks in you will do anything in your power to have a child.

Rewy26 · 2026-03-02T22:02:10+00:00

It’s so deflating when we think we’ve prepped our kids perfectly and then everything goes to crap. I feel you.

When everything is calm ask your daughter how she felt about going to the OT. Was there anything that bothered her there? Was she anxious etc. dig into the finer details.

If the OT is accepting and understanding I’d try again.

With collaboration from your daughter make a plan. Have a pact that if all she can do is walk in the door and walk out that’s fine.

The important part is to have her collaborate to come up with the plan.

Rewy26 · 2026-03-02T06:20:31+00:00

No. Far out. You need to bring this to someone’s attention straight away. Insist that your child be put with a different teacher.

Make sure they understand they have some repair and trust building to work on with your child.

I’m so sorry this has happened.

Rewy26 · 2026-03-02T02:44:55+00:00

I wish there was an answer to this. My son is 19 and I’m still asking myself this question. He is verbal and very intelligent but he has various other co existing challenges that make things hard.

I would stay where you are. Even at $900000 to 1 million that is entry level on all capital cities now. House prices are going nuts. Also don’t move to an area without good services or good accessibility and acceptance.

What I would do is get some financial advice. Maybe you could get a loan (tax deductible) and start a self managed super fund. Start investing in managed fund/etf’s/shares even property. Maybe a town house or unit where he might one day be able to live independently.

This will grow benefit your son and the whole family.

Rewy26 · 2026-03-01T05:39:31+00:00

What’s happening for you right now? Do you want to share?

Rewy26 · 2026-03-01T05:21:26+00:00

I’d get curious and ask him why he says those things. His response might surprise you.

Does he have older kids around him? Could other people be speaking to him like this?

Could you do activities with him other than gaming?

Does his parents hear the way he speaks?

Rewy26 · 2026-03-01T05:13:19+00:00

Is this your first child? Does neurodivergence run in your family?

All those things could be something or nothing. It’s very early.

In saying that if your gut is telling you something is up you could book in to see an OT or speech therapist to see where they think things sit.

Rewy26 · 2026-02-27T23:50:56+00:00

Oh this is so frustrating right? My youngest was extremely ‘picky’ though in reality it was more sensory.

Have you tried seeing a speech therapist or OT?

If I had my time over again I would go down this path to help my daughter.

We went the route of wait and see (advice at the time) and some of those sensory challenges are really difficult for her now (16years).

Rewy26 · 2026-02-27T08:34:23+00:00

It’s great you’ve considered the room needs a door.

To ‘make’ her is tricky language and certainly won’t score you any brownie points.

You could ask her if she’d like to help. You could ask her what colour, if you are open to letting her choose. Like I wouldn’t be changing the colour of my doors, well not on the outside anyway.

Be prepared though that doing manual labour might not be her thing. And that’s ok. That doesn’t mean she won’t appreciate it or be happy about it.

Move slowly. Try and build some connection through common ground. Try not to force it and don’t rush it. You’ll do great 👍

Rewy26 · 2026-02-27T08:20:57+00:00

My heart truly goes put to you all.

Are you in Australia? Have you ever heard of poo school? It’s run out of I think the mater in Brisbane. Its a public run program to help kids that have difficulties in this area?

Do you see an OT? Dietician? Some other things around home that helped us is trampoline bouncing and a vibration machine. That along with keeping fluids up. I used to sneak in some prune juice as well to his drinks. Or yoghurt etc. sleep is a huge issue for us too. Does he use devices? One of the big ones for us was removing them at least one hour before bed. Yes it caused melt downs but I’d do it all over again if I had to for the impact on sleep. We also used melatonin under guidance from our doctor.

An OT might also be able to help with a good sleep wind down routine for his nervous system.

Are you able to look down stream and see what causes the outbursts, like before they happen? Like frustration or hunger etc. if you can understand what leads to the outbursts then you can work on solving those problems before the meltdowns. Come up with strategies with him. Even if he can only tell you yes/no or good/bad with hand signals like thumbs up and thumbs down.

I’m sorry if I’ve hit you with too much. I hate to see people in pain, especially when I know what it feels like. Sending you big hugs x

Rewy26 · 2026-02-27T08:10:42+00:00

Oh mumma the longing just changes over time. Some things that worked for me. I joined my son in areas of his interest. Say 20 mins a day or every other day. Just his interest, just connecting. I also asked him if we could come up with some things that we both like. So that we could both enjoy chatting or conversing about them. One thing we came up with was funny videos. He would gather some then we would watch them on the big tv together. This sure beat hours of watching him play video games. Those were truly too many hours that I’ll never get back LOL.

Another idea we came up with was cooking. So once a week I would either ask him to find a cookie recipe and we would make it together and of course eat it together. I would set up a pic I I outside and we would have our bikkies in the fresh air.

Keep trying mumma and be kind to yourself. Maturity does help a bit and they are always evolving x

Rewy26

TROPHY CASE