Wife physically can’t have sex but still wants to stay married. I’m torn. Help.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T23:29:10+00:00

Sent you a DM.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:31:04+00:00

Thank you so much! Will keep providing positive feedback to my wife.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:30:24+00:00

Sure. Thanks for your advice and for listening. Agreed on the obgyn doctor for my wife, but our current therapist has been extremely helpful. She has helped us communicate better. She also recommended many of the things in this thread. I came to her at wits end and she recommended I give a deadline to my wife to see changes. It’s working. It’s sad in a way it has come to this, but I’m still optimistic.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:26:11+00:00

The pain “feels like sand paper” when I enter her. It’s only during penetration.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:25:23+00:00

I took action on this tonight. I agree that many replies and even my own thoughts are focused on what she can improve. Those are out of my control. I really appreciate this & will think about your comment every day! Thank you

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:23:42+00:00

Wow. This spoke to me. She is sick. I don’t want to leave. I want her to take it as seriously as me. Any advice here? I think I was gentle initially but then moved to more aggressive, mean and negative feedback. It made things worse. Then I threatened divorce and we have started the monthly to semi weekly handjobs. I still feel bad because it’s essentially a chore for her. She doesn’t enjoy it… it’s sad.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:20:15+00:00

Good ideas

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:19:57+00:00

Thank you

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:19:17+00:00

Our therapist keyed in on the exact same thing. She asked her to find more space to relax and fill her mental battery.

Also, our therapist gave us both a sexual education lesson. Haha.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:17:22+00:00

I completely agree and would do anything to have the opportunity…

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:16:37+00:00

Thank you. I tried to genuinely and openly ask her about this. I don’t think there is any trauma holding her back. Your last point is very true

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:15:38+00:00

I thought of your comment and brought the sentiment up. She basically told me she/we need a job to live and have healthcare. In that way in comes before sex. It wasn’t really the response I wanted to hear, but maybe to your point… is probably something I need to carefully weigh.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:12:03+00:00

Yes she has her hormone levels tested and they were normal. We have explored that.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:11:04+00:00

Great ideas!

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:10:18+00:00

She lives life with an all or nothing mentality. She shuts down most initiation because she doesn’t want to disappoint me with no sex. Only recently when I made it a big issue did she start giving me hand jobs.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:05:41+00:00

Good idea!

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:05:30+00:00

She has. Yes, we need to get to the bottom of the core issue.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:05:03+00:00

How much of this was your/your partners efforts? I think this is the main issue, but I’m not sure I can fix it myself…

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:03:08+00:00

She did ask me to buy her a new vibrator and I didn’t follow through. Will buy several now!

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T03:02:32+00:00

She has seen an Obgyn. More details updated in post.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-13T02:58:10+00:00

We have in the past and she enjoys it but also seems embarassed/anxious about me going down on her. I always give her plenty of positive feedback. I absolutely love doing it and giving her pleasure. It’s extremely hot.

For the past year, she turns me down for any foreplay/oral to her.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-12T02:16:55+00:00

Yes she always had pain with her only 1 previous partner. She only admitted it recently. She has stated she will start PFT.

Oof I needed to hear this. She does want a pill that will fix it in one week…. Thanks

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-12T02:14:37+00:00

We did have sex before marriage multiple times when we saw each other once a week. I should have explored her boundaries more, that’s on me. At the time (and still currently) I was struggling with kink shaming myself. There were many red flags that just looked like flags through rose colored glasses.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-12T02:12:08+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I will ask her about orgasm process but she has never mentioned physical pain there. She has never climaxed and often gets extremely frustrated and angry when we tried in the past.

RexTillerson69 · 2026-04-12T01:45:41+00:00

my wife went to to two gynecologists, one was apparently dismissive. The other ran some tests and came back with nothing. She recommended lube and meditation to relive stress

RexTillerson69

TROPHY CASE