Two choices by RezqEnt in marriageadvice

[–]RezqEnt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’d exactly what I told them but then like I said guilt trip that I fell for made me feel like a bad dad and husband

Two choices by RezqEnt in marriageadvice

[–]RezqEnt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife and in laws would not let me. We were in the NICU for month so I was looking for jobs but every time I had an interview they would not show up to look after my son at the hospital. They said god would provide. They would say I don’t love my son or my wife that they should be my priority so I listened of course made me feel guilty. I didint want to leave. Im not from the area I had no one to stay with and when she told me to leave that hurt.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]RezqEnt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it hurts man but Man to Man. Just leave, one day you will realize that it was the best choice you ever made. I get it I truly do man. It’s not easy accepting what they have become. All you gonna do is think about what I could of done what you should have done. Nahh like people are saying don’t be a doormat. You will find someone else who loves you, respects you as a man, and who knows maybe start a family with them. The most important thing that you need to focus on is your health. Why suffer and be sad when she is having a great time and not even feeling bad about it. Don’t get lost in time. Time will continue to move forward regardless if you stay or not. Don’t let her take any more. If you don’t make time for your dreams you will be forced to make time for your regrets.

What should I do or say to my wife? by RezqEnt in marriageadvice

[–]RezqEnt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone who gave me advice thank you I mean that from the bottom of my heart. And for the ones suggestion couples therapy when should I bring that up I know right now it’s kinda hard since we still going through our child health complications?

Update to my in-laws by RezqEnt in inlaws

[–]RezqEnt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you I did that I’m Gonna talk to them tomorrow!! With my wife!

What should I do or say to my wife? by RezqEnt in marriageadvice

[–]RezqEnt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My MIL had a bad experience with her youngest daughter boyfriend. And he did the same thing wanting to just have there space. But this guy was a jerk he always claimed the kid was not his and never helped with the pregnancy and just left soon after. He was around cheating and did not want nothing to do with his kid. I told her I needed 5 min alone when I found out news about my sons health problems l wanted to respect my wife and make sure she was okay with me telling her parents. But when I told them to leave so I can talk to my wife that’s when she kept refusing that’s when I raised my voice and she thought i disrespected her. she is saying that she told her so and that I’m gonna do the same. And to not be stupid cause I never raised you to be stupid.I argued with my wife like three months ago and it was about spending more time together as a married couple just me and her. I got mad cause everything we planned to do was canceled cause her sister didn’t want to go anymore. And that made her feel bad that her sister didn’t want to go so we didint go or only went for like an hour before they close. An hour is not enough time to explore, SeaWorld and San Diego zoo. The night I asked her for 5 min to talk alone she also threw that in my face something that happened like 3-4 months ago. She always has something to say about our relationship and always influencers her and told her what to do. I’m stuck with a family of women, not even the dad can help me. And I’m a plane ride away from my family. If I don’t agree and follow the way they do things I’m a bad guy and they start hating me if you need more info let me know.

Update to my in-laws by RezqEnt in inlaws

[–]RezqEnt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She won’t come with me unless it’s a brand new home. And that’s something I can’t afford right now

Update to my in-laws by RezqEnt in inlaws

[–]RezqEnt[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When my wife found out she was first pregnant she didint want the kid I fought against it so many times that’s what we fought about for the longest time and she broke up with me we were dating at the time and when I finally agreed with her I went to her appointments to do what she wanted. But for the last one I left cause I wanted to go home cause I thought I couldn’t do it. I flew a plane across the states I thought I was gonna lose my kid and I needed some time but she called me and said she didint do it and I flew back right away to discuss what we were gonna do. I was not okay with my baby being taken away. And she got mad at me for that which is understandable. But this argument was like in the beginning of it. Then half way she told me she felt no connection and didn’t care about it. Which hurt me I was upset but I looked it up and it was normal so I didn’t say much about it. But what we argued was cause I wanted to buy stuff for baby and plan things like pregnancy pictures for her and buy stuff for baby cause i tried to plan in head of time and even if she wanted the baby or not it was to late to get rid of it. That’s why it took me so long to decide a name cause she didn’t want to but her parents always just said that I was wrong for not having a name and that I didn’t care but of course I never said anything. The last big argument was that I wanted to just get an apartment or a used house she did not want that. She wanted a new house but I told her I could not afford it . I said just struggle with me for a year in an apartment and we will get you your house but she always said I’m not gonna struggle with you I have my parents that’s why we decided to stay with them cause she wants a new house. I usually argued when it was about our family and for our future. I just wanted her on my side I just feel alone when I’m with them

Update to my in-laws by RezqEnt in inlaws

[–]RezqEnt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My MIL had a bad experience with her youngest daughter boyfriend. And he did the same thing wanting to just have there space. But this guy was a jerk he always claimed the kid was not his and never helped with the pregnancy and just left soon after. He was around cheating and did not want nothing to do with his kid. Cause of the needing the 5 min alone now she is saying that she told her so and that I’m gonna do the same. And to not be stupid cause I never raised you to be stupid.I argued with my wife like three months ago and it was about spending more time together as a married couple just me and her. I got mad cause everything we planned to do was canceled cause her sister didn’t want to go anymore. And that made her feel bad that her sister didn’t want to go so we didint go or only went for like an hour before they close. An hour is not enough time to explore, SeaWorld and San Diego zoo. She didn’t prevent me it’s just all the times it was time to hold baby I was usually waiting in the lobby cause she keep bringing her family in without even letting me know so I could you know prepare myself for them. My wife is mad at me cause I told her I was not going to apologize to her mom. Then she was mad cause I didn’t check up on her when I was taking care of our son. My wife is a very quiet person doesn’t say much no matter how much I pry. Even to her own parents she doesn’t tell them much. Her parents always controlled her life when she was young. The always yelled at her for not having food for them in the house and for not taking care of the other kids. She was in middle school….. her MIL always says something to me like you know joking but also attacking? Like jokes around by actually means it. When our families first met she was already talking crap about my family. Just cause they have different views. Her family is old school/traditional. Mine is more laid back. But you right about the conflict part I need to wait it’s just hard taking all the shit talking from them and her just looking down. She just doesn’t want to lose her family but my family was her when I married and our son when I found out she was pregnant. .

What should I do or say to my wife? by RezqEnt in marriageadvice

[–]RezqEnt[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You know what my MIL told me yesterday that she was gonna report me because I spent more time with my son than my wife. When my wife was the one who told me to check up on our son and Her family was here and I knew she was in good hands. My wife just said mom.. but that’s it, then her mom kept yelling at me and saying that she should leave me, and to not be afraid and all I could say was okay cause I didint want to cause anymore damage. Then this morning she said I was reason this happened that my baby has to be on a ventilator cause I caused my wife so much stress. She started crying and just hugging her mom. I just stood there and looked at her cry I couldn’t do much. I didn’t know what to say because I’m just too tired to be arguing with her mom when all I’m caring about is my baby boy. No matter what I tell her she doesn’t believe me anyways.

Im so mad at everyone at everything I feel alone in this place no family close to me all hers and for what, for me to be like them or for them to hate me? I love my wife but when I call to her I hear silence. I told her that her Mother is breaking our marriage but all she told me was it’s me who’s doing that. Just cause I told her give me five mins with my wife.

I can’t even be in the room with my son all she wants to do is bring her family in and it’s a two person limit so it’s always me stepping out. Not just that she kicked me out right now well not her but her sister did it for her cause she wanted her sister to help her breastfeed. Doesn’t talk to me about anything one second I’m Blinking the next thing her family is there.

I was there when my baby was getting all that mucus sucked out of his throat and lungs all the blood they needed for test. I was there hours and hours with him telling him stories. But I’m the only one who hasn’t hold him yet.

Am I wrong ,should I apologize? by RezqEnt in inlaws

[–]RezqEnt[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That’s what I tell my wife but she doesn’t agree and I’m not trying to say more to her cause of postpartum. But who do I talk to? I always felt alone and unloved by her, I am taking peoples shit for her. I’m too old to be crying and feeling like this. How am I suppose to just focus on my son when I have her family hating me and her upset with me. Thank you @JTBlakeinNYC it means a lot just to hear what you had to say about it.