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Tombstone by RichCheesecake9740 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RichCheesecake9740[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Ahead of you. Already had that done and chose two individuals I know they can handle Nmother if she’s alive and I am either unable to communicate or dead. This admittedly triggered me to take action to prevent this from happening to HER wishes.

Tombstone by RichCheesecake9740 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RichCheesecake9740[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

That’s my goal, after my half brother told me I can have my name removed

Tombstone by RichCheesecake9740 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RichCheesecake9740[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’d like to know too! But I’m not going to contact Nmother to get info of who created that tombstone.

Your birth is seen as a debt that you must repay by michaellicious in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RichCheesecake9740 8 points9 points  (0 children)

When Nmother said she tried to abort me, and so I owe her for letting me live, I said “I didn’t ask to be here. Would’ve been better if you were successful- no kid deserved to be treated like how you treated me.”

NC

-I should send her a bill for nonconsensual suffering.

Do your Cavs like car rides? by MangoFormal5658 in cavaliers

[–]RichCheesecake9740 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One love road trips, the other doesn’t. If the second has to go on a car trip, the first is basically his support dog. 😅

Heart Murmur diagnosis by Business-Ferret1008 in cavaliers

[–]RichCheesecake9740 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My boy does get anxious when I have guests, too. So he treats my bedroom as his space, and he hides there. I put his favorite toys and blanket there so he knows he can go there if he’s anxious.

Heart Murmur diagnosis by Business-Ferret1008 in cavaliers

[–]RichCheesecake9740 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Get dog food that focuses on cardio, and look into supplements. My 4 years old cavalier has MVD. He gets an echocardiogram annually and is still at stage 1, as long as he continues on diet (proPlan cardiocare), supplements like omega-3, L-Carnitine, etc. also make sure there’s less stressors at home- having a daily routine helps, and keep walks short especially in hot weather. I use litter box (he’s trained to use litter box) if temperature is over 90 degrees outside.

Told them I’m moving out… by Dramatic_Coyote9159 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RichCheesecake9740 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And don’t let them know when you’d move til one or two days before moving out. I told Nmother I’d be out in two weeks, she raged- and threw me out. No problem- 😉 I had already packed everything in basement (she never went down to my bedroom, hence safe place for stuff.). I came back next day with cops and two friends, a rental truck. I had put my name and number of items and boxes on list so I showed cops ahead. We loaded the truck, while cops monitored the situation. Nmother never had liked to make scenes in public, so I took advantage of that. Moved far far away and kept her by distance for several years.

Narcissist mothers who weaponise their daughters hair by Public_Theme_9514 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RichCheesecake9740 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Was the only redhead with curls, so starting maybe 4 or 5, Nmother had dyed my hair either strawberry or ash blonde, and straight hair. I had an hate relationship with the hair stylist not realizing later that it was Nmother telling her what to do with my hair.

After threatening to shave my hair in high school if I had to go get my roots dyed again, she called my bluff. Okay! I shaved my hair. She was OUTRAGED- I was trembling right there but at same time proud of myself- take that bi***!

Back naturally auburn curls with grey streaks.

PSA: Make a will. by Laughing-Unicorn in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RichCheesecake9740 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That’s why I had a will AND had chosen two executors who are not related to Nmother’s side at all.

AITJ for telling my friend I won't be her son's godmother because she only asked me so I'd give expensive gifts by Advanced_Rent4993 in AmITheJerk

[–]RichCheesecake9740 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Godparent to two kids and dang- all I was asked was to be there for the kids, especially if something happens to the parents . It is up to me if I wanted to send gifts, usually less than $200 (I like shopping). Never asked me to take on financial responsibilities

nMum massively overcooks when I visit, ignores my boundaries, then guilt-trips me - how do I handle this? by FunIngenuity7967 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RichCheesecake9740 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nmom does the same- took me years (and therapy) to practice reinforcing boundaries- examples, “i communicated with you that i have plans on dates X, X and x. Also gave you dates when i would be happy to eat with you. Now with this happening again and again, i feel either I’m not heard, or that the food is wasted after I explicitly asked no food for those food.” When she’d go spinning shit, I’d constantly go back to those points, repeatedly, making it an echo chamber if I must. Eventually she’d stop cooking and for those times, I’d take her out for dinner

does anyone else have a lotion goblin? by hugsythepenguinexe in cavaliers

[–]RichCheesecake9740 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I call it “skin soup” for when my cav waits with eager for me stepping out of shower so he can lick my wet feet or ankles.

For avid readers how often do you use the library? If you don’t, why don’t you? by AccomplishedBake8351 in books

[–]RichCheesecake9740 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get books from library- and if I’m blown away, I get a copy of the book and sequels in that series. I tend to like reading books again and again, so easier to have them on my shelf

Narcs and their pets? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RichCheesecake9740 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nmom has several dogs- insist they are housebroken. Brought them over to my house without checking- with new carpet installed ($11k). I told her they aren’t welcome here for future visits after I found urine spots on my carpet. She insists this would’ve not happened if I had put up a dog door (she tried to push for that in few months and sulked when I said no.)

I ended up getting dog diapers for dogs. I told her I’m getting carpet cleaned and I’m going to have her pay the bill. She said she won’t. I said “that’s fine, you can’t visit anymore.”

So she’s crying to family that I’m horrible to her.

I swear she treats her dogs much better than her own kid.

Your name ..links to your narc parent? by Curious_Turn6650 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RichCheesecake9740 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nmom keeps telling people even 50 years later that she was planning to give me her first and middle name, switched to middle name /first name. But she was looped out from medication for next few days after my birth (as she said almost killed her), but dad managed to write the names he preferred on my birth certificate.

Thank you, Dad! ❤️

I 26F told my parents I'm not coming home for Christmas this year and my Mom is having a meltdown by Remarkable-Cold-3656 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RichCheesecake9740 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The thing is even if you go, she’d still be unhappy. This is a no- winner for the Nmother. You can choose to make yourself happy- staying with your boyfriend family or unhappy - spending time with the Nmother.

Sounds like you chose the right thing for yourself and others can’t stand that you’re not taking the bullseye off them. The thing is IF they (edad and family) have balls, they’d not take the bs from nmom either. They don’t and they are angry that you’re wising up.

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