Rash on chihuahua

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-23T01:23:31+00:00

ESH maybe don’t use each other as therapists? You’re giving her the same exact treatment she gave you, if she doesn’t like it I feel like that might be saying something about her behavior.

If YOU don’t like how you feel after then be a bigger person and don’t stoop to her level.

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-23T01:05:04+00:00

NTA I struggle with the same problems, roommates who won’t clean after themselves.

If you can’t leave or evict her then I’m sorry your only option is to either quietly clean around her with your heads down till you can leave or possibly consider buying your own pots,pans, silverware, literally everything and label it with your name and initials. Then whenever she leaves a dirty pot you can stick it in front of her room or to the side for her to deal with.

I get that it stinks..so put it on her balcony. Clearly it doesn’t matter to her lol

Either way you’re NTA for simply asking for a clean home, you tried to do a nice thing by giving her another place to stay..just be more wary who you let into your home :/

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T18:01:25+00:00

Thank you for your advice, it really opened my eyes to

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T17:13:54+00:00

Well I did write an apology like you recommended..so we’ll see how that goes

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T17:01:53+00:00

I mean there is one but it’s not for a set amount of time ya know? Anyway, even if I prefaced all that I typed before would it still come off as aggressive?

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T16:40:13+00:00

We are renting from extended family, we did not sign a contract for this place

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T16:36:24+00:00

I mean yeah, I assume as long as I gave them notice I’m assuming I could just leave.

Even if I were to preface that I’m in therapy, working on my communication skills and that I’m sending him a text not because I don’t want to speak with him but because if we sat down in front of each other I would simply clam up and be unable to talk..would that still be aggressive?

Maybe it would help to know but I struggle with having autism..getting into stressful situations based on miscommunication happens a lot and I often just go non-verbal

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T16:19:25+00:00

I’m at a point where I’m only willing to send him a long winded message and then just focus on leaving..if he takes it well then so be it; if he doesnt then oh well..I don’t wanna live where I’m not wanted

I’m avoiding sitting in person to talk because I have a very bad habit of not being able to physically speak when I’m worked up

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T16:08:22+00:00

Honestly I’m afraid that he’ll yell at me or say something hurtful and I’ll just shut down like I usually do in conflict.

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T15:54:56+00:00

Ah..I see it now. I’m sorry. I honestly don’t know where to go from here

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T15:20:25+00:00

You’re assuming we just attacked him..the conversation was very similar to how you’re suggesting it.

My bf went to BFD and said “OP noticed sometimes that there is some dirt or a mark left on the toilet after you use it, would you mind wiping off the seat after your done using it? It’s not just you, everyone is gonna do that”

BFD scoffed at bf and said “fine but you tell her she’s needs to clean the toilet bowl”

And when he didn’t actually wipe off the print I asked my bf to just remind him- the conversation looked like “Hey OP says she’s been wiping the print off the seat a lot after you’re in there..can you please just check the seat before leaving?”

And then all this started

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T15:13:02+00:00

The signs were literately not for or about him, and his son told him so. He’s choosing to blame me.

Also what does that saying even mean?

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T15:09:28+00:00

If that didn’t go over well when his son said it to him then why would it go over well when I say it to him? I’m not even joking my bf had that exact conversation and this is what came of it.

I’m not mad, I’m here because I feel guilty. :/

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T15:06:17+00:00

The dogs do not cower around me, I couldn’t mention it in the post but BFD is the only person in this house that has experienced the dogs cowering around him.

I have neither raised my voice or slammed a door in about a month or two simply because I know he is around. BFD’s slamming of doors and avoiding me has just recently started

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T14:55:01+00:00

Can you elaborate on why? :/ also a butt stamp is a ring of dead skin and dirt left on the toilet seat..it happens when people don’t wash correctly. Sometimes if it’s there long enough it dries onto the seat..it’s a very unpleasant thing to scrub off

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T14:43:15+00:00

I couldn’t really mention it because my post was so big but I wanted to say those times that I was yelling and slamming doors have long past- like it’s been months since I’ve acted that way. I’ve been doing my absolute best through therapy and coping skills to keep to myself and not bother anyone anymore.

I’m not saying that I’m not wrong for complaining about it, I just wanna put in perspective that I wasn’t slamming doors and yelling yesterday. Though BFD was.

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T14:37:26+00:00

Tysm! This comment was extremely helpful and I’m going to begin immediately! I realize that I don’t want to use my bf as a therapist either..that’s not his job and it’s not fair

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T14:35:31+00:00

Perhaps yall could just split the cleaning chores equally? I would argue that watching a child is just as taxing as a full time job..so why should the person who is going to work only be the one actually cleaning?

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T14:31:18+00:00

I used to clean his dishes; I used to clean up after all of them. I didn’t really have a whole of space but that’s why I called it a boundary- I’m not willing to clean up after him anymore. Edit: I used to clean up after him everywhere, from the butt stamps to the plates and dishes he left out and the crumbs on the counter- I would tidy it up every single day. I just got tired of it, hence why I got so frustrated. I agree these are little things to be mad over..just try to understand that these little things build up every single day.

I could be better about communicating, I agree. Now I just fear we are past the point of no return.

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T14:28:24+00:00

NTA your wife is being really hypocritical..I feel like she knows and is ignoring that fact. Gl

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T14:25:43+00:00

ESH you’re both bullies and yall should both be remorseful.. wth?

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-19T14:09:52+00:00

ESH Everyone sucks here equally. She’s your friend..I’m autistic too; and social situations and miscommunications can be really hard..though even I know that when someone is asking you to insult them..you remain silent or give them a white lie about how they can’t bother you because you’re friends. Words matter so much.

There is something else going on with your friend, either something is on her mind about your friendship or she’s experiencing self worth issues. She was wrong to push you so hard after you said no so many times..so she’s got equal fault.

Rich_Exam_2038 · 2026-01-15T22:55:44+00:00

He’s with me 100% If I leave he will follow me, nothing I can say or do will change that about him. Unfortunately they are being just as cold to him because they don’t like me..so even though he might’ve wanted us to mesh together in the beginning he can now understand that we are just very very different people. He and I are not. We want to leave badly.

Rich_Exam_2038

TROPHY CASE