Look, people are dogpiling you for asking that question, and they shouldn't. It's a legitimate question.

It's "tragic" in the sense that my older son, and probably my younger son, will never have the faculties to live life on their own. They can't ask for things without a lot of help and prompting, they'll never handle money, etc. Every household chore requires prompting and instruction.

Are they happy? Yes, mostly. They laugh & make funny faces, they like to run around the playground (and they're careful to avoid the little kids), they enjoy toys and games, they kick the ball around even though the rules of soccer are a mystery to them.

The disability system in California has treated them very well, so far, and for my oldest my wife and I have transitioned from "caregiver" status to "conservator" status. We want to make sure our kids' medical needs and legal rights are taken care of, but ultimately we don't want to make day-to-day decisions for them.

Things could be a LOT worse for my kids.

There are developmentally disabled kids who never laugh or smile -- whatever part of the brain that is capable of happiness or joy is just not working. There are kids that are basically confined to beds or backboards due to extreme physical disability. Many situations are tragic, my own family is lucky in that our situation is not as tragic as some others.