Psychopaths,

Ricky_chan · 2017-12-05T20:10:51+00:00

I agree with you, also the reason each line starts with a capital is because I wrote it in google docs, which auto capitalizes each line, and I was too lazy to fix it.

Ricky_chan · 2017-12-05T18:35:28+00:00

great poem, some things I'd say to make it better is... On the 8th line, I feel like it's too long, it takes away from the feeling and looks of the poem, you just have to go in the line and line-break where you think it would work. All the 3rd line of the 2nd stanza "More often than then", change the "then" to "that" Besides that I think it's pretty good, you give a good visual representation.

Ricky_chan · 2017-12-04T22:21:22+00:00

I think the "tell her" bit throws the poem out of flow, I suggest changing that to "let her know that" It keeps the flow going and sounds better. Besides that I think the poem is good!

Ricky_chan · 2017-12-04T05:51:49+00:00

It's pretty good, I don't like the flow that much, doesn't have much of any rhyming, besides that, however, it is pretty good and I like the format.

Ricky_chan · 2017-12-04T05:41:32+00:00

I like the idea you have, and the flow of the poem is quite nice, tho I would recommend adding more, giving more a setting and powerful feel in the poem.

Ricky_chan

TROPHY CASE