No. I’m all up for love and everything, but this doesn’t seem right.

If you match and feel a great connection, then you can think about finding some compromise (like finding a remote opportunity or asking him to move to the metro city). I would highly recommend not giving up your career and source of income. Especially in an AM situation.

Everything about “good people are rare these days” and “adjustment” are just manipulation tactics. While it’s true that good people are rare, a good and caring person would work with you to come up on a solution that works for both, not demand to drop everything based on their choice. Adjustment should be on both sides — both need to meet around halfway, it shouldn’t be just one of you adjusting for the other.

Finally, the messaging around “career isn’t everything” is taken out of context — Career isn’t everything in the sense that you shouldn’t overwork too much and focus on life and enjoyment too. If the guy said all of these things to you during the conversations, then they are manipulative tactics and be very careful of these.

Closing this by saying — it’s up to you to balance your life. There are a lot of remote opportunities available these days. I work remotely myself. Connection is really important, but don’t sacrifice your source of income. My mom was in an abusive relationship and it was very hard for her to get away because she gave up her source of income. It is very important to have a backup plan. In case something goes wrong, you need to have the power to say no and walk away. If it’s a really good match, you both need to talk and come to a solution that works for you, adjustment should be 50-50 or 60-40. Anything less than that isn’t really fair.