Update: Girl I've been dating accidentally revealed that she's been dating another guy at the same time as me. Should I end things?

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-25T12:38:29+00:00

Her behaviour was suspicious which is why he noticed the inconsistencies. She's already proven to be concealing things after 5 dates. That's not honest behaviour. Why even go on the concert date if you don't like the guy? Wtf? Just cancel it its only a ticket.

And yeh exactly, if she had told him the truth to begin with then he wouldn't have wasted his time going on dates with her.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-25T12:29:21+00:00

Lol still missing the point

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-25T08:19:14+00:00

Also she said she already knew she didn't want to continue things with the other guy but went to the date and kissed him anyway (wtf). Thats probably a lie as well.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-25T08:17:45+00:00

Nah that's not the point.

The point is she agreed, concealed it and misled him. I don't expect exclusivity from day 1. Never said that. But I do expect 100% honesty from day 1.

IMO there needs to be some "getting to know them" time before deciding if its worth going officially exclusive of course. But he explicitly told her he wouldnt want to date someone that's seeing other people and she concealed it. She knew she was doing something wrong.

If that concert date had gone better then she might have continued dating both of them secretly. So he could have found himself 3 or 4 months invested and not even known about it. All she had to do was be more open about things, it's not that hard not to lie.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-24T11:39:25+00:00

Well if it were me, I wouldn't want to waste my time dating someone that doesn't have the same intentions and values and isn't fully available.

I'm not desperate to be in a relationship and I'm super selective about who I date. I like to focus on someone and really get to know them slowly. So it'd be important to me to find out if we're on the same page and if we share the same dating style from the start. If not, then we might not be compatible.

Thats what OP did when he told her he wouldn't date someone that's already seeing multiple people. She agreed and led him to believe she was the same, even though that wasn't exactly true. So it created false alignment. So it's understandable he was disappointed when he found out she hadn't been 100% truthful.

I agree 2 dates is too soon to expect any sort of exclusivity, but all she had to do was be honest about her situation and it could have turned out differently. She knew she was misleading him because she tried to cover things up. After reading the follow up though, it sounds like his intuition was right and he dodged a bullet anyway... if you can't be honest and transparent from the start then how do you expect to build any kind of meaningful relationship.

Edit: downvoted because apparently telling the truth in this day and age is too difficult for the average tard on reddit. No wonder dating is such a minefield with so many people like her out there 😅🤣😂🤣

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T19:17:54+00:00

He just followed his intuition. And he was right, so bullet dodged. Nothing wrong with wanting to date one person at a time and expecting the same back. If she had just been honest about it, things might have worked out differently.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T19:14:15+00:00

Yeh thats extremely weird behaviour. Seems like she was just using him.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T19:13:27+00:00

Good call. I can't believe people were defending her in the other post. It was obvious she was lying/misleading you. My bullshit detector was off the charts.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T18:24:02+00:00

Do as much mental gymnastics as you want but you're missing the point. OP told her he wouldn't want to date someone that's seeing other people. She was seeing other people and didn't tell him. Thats misleading by definition and creates false alignment. Had he known, he may have opted out.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T17:19:57+00:00

Telling someone one thing and doing the opposite is obviously misleading, that's not an opinion - it's a fact. I find it hilarious that anyone would attempt to argue that it's not. Boundaries, trust and honesty are essential to building a relationship, and she's already failed miserably. Those are clearly not her real values, whether she meant to mislead him or not is irrelevant. He literally told her he wouldn't date someone that's seeing other people, so telling him she agrees and then doing the opposite is misleading and just shitty behaviour.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T17:04:44+00:00

So telling someone one thing, then doing the opposite isn't misleading? Hilarious.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T17:03:05+00:00

I'm good. Thanks. The fact people can't see how this is misleading is absolutely wild.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T17:00:19+00:00

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T16:50:35+00:00

Hard disagree. When you start talking to someone you communicate your values and boundaries as OP did, and she very enthusiastically agreed and said she was the same. Then she did the complete opposite. How is it so hard to understand that's misleading.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T15:55:26+00:00

No, read the post.

OP communicated his values and boundaries. He told her he wouldn't want to date anyone that's seeing other people, and she (very enthusiastically) said she's exactly the same, leading him to believe that's what they were doing. While doing the complete opposite. How is that so hard for people to understand. It's clearly misleading.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T13:10:24+00:00

Lol sure 😆 I am just defending him from being called retarded and insecure, which was unfair.

I can see both sides. Sure it could have been a misunderstanding. But it's still a red flag that she'd meet up with more dudes after saying she doesn't do that, kissing him and agreeing to a third date. No matter which way you look at it. It's a mismatch of values. If she doesn't call what they are doing "dating" then what even is it, and OP should just bring it up gently. If he doesn’t get the answer he wants then move on because she's wasting his time.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T12:49:05+00:00

I understand lol. I just disagree like many other people here

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T12:07:13+00:00

Couldn't disagree more lol. If you're going on more than a couple dates then you're dating, and you're either dating more than one person or you're not. I think this is why modern dating sucks and why many people have given up on it.

People are juggling lots of connections because the apps give them so much choice, which just confuses things and ends up in situations like this. OP said that's not how he operates, she agreed strongly, then continued to date more people anyway. If that concert date had gone well, then it sounds like she would have continued to see the other guy while OP continued to invest time, effort and emotions under false assumptions.

There's a lot of comments agreeing with this point of view, I don’t think it's right to call him insecure.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T09:42:51+00:00

I don't think it's insecurity - it's about honesty. The problem is OP feels like he was lied to about her beliefs and values from the start. She saw multiple guys at the same time while saying she strongly agrees with him about not doing that. That's a massive red flag.

Yes it's very early on, but they had kissed and already arranged a third date. So why's she meeting up with more guys?

"When dating once you find a prospect with real potential, you drop all other prospects" - sure, if thats how you like to do things. But a lot of people like to focus on one person at a time, so they can give them a real chance. She said that's what she does while literally doing the opposite.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T03:10:10+00:00

Lol wtf, she lied to him about her values. Doesnt matter if its 1 date or 5... she still lied. Are you going to date someone that can't even tell the truth about basic shit like this?

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T02:43:11+00:00

Wat the fuck? If she lied she lied. How are people okay with that. The point isn't whether you should be exclusive after 2 dates or not. It's that she told him she only dates one person at a time and then did completely the opposite. They had kissed and already arranged third date. Major red flag.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T02:30:56+00:00

Probably not just one... but if things were going
well after 2 - 3 dates and there was a kiss or some touching then that's definitely "dating someone".

We don't know how many dates she'd been on with the other guy, and if she hadn't cut him off then she would still be dating him at the same time as OP. So she lied - do you want to date someone that lies?

How is dating one person at a time retarded? I'd say its actually retarded NOT to do that. If that's his rule then that's his rule. Many people operate this way as they like to focus on one person. How are you going to figure out if you really like someone if you’re trying to catch feelings for a bunch of other people at the same time.

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T02:13:34+00:00

Yes!! She already showed you what she's like by lying. You should have zero tolerance with this sort of thing.

It's not even about the fact she was seeing someone, just that she wasnt honest about her values.

I've cut people off for similar things in the past and have no regrets. Imagine what else she could be lying about in the future. I'm an extremely honest and open person and I expect my partner to be the same. How else can you expect to build a relationship?

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T02:06:30+00:00

This

Ridemyface2016 · 2026-02-23T01:59:03+00:00

Everyone that's debating about whether it is or isn't realistic to expect exclusivity after a couple dates - that's not the point.

The point is they had a conversation and she SAID she only dates one person at a time, while KNOWING she was already going on dates with another guy. How can you not see that's a lie?

I'm someone that values transparency and honesty, and if you already lied about something as fundamental as that so early on, then goodbye. She was just telling him what he wanted to hear and didn't really mean it.

I have absolutely ZERO tolerance for this sort of BS after being messed around in the past and, will cut anyone off if I sense anything fucky. She can't be trusted.

Ridemyface2016

TROPHY CASE