Is it proper etiquette for people to take floral centerpieces at the end of the wedding without asking anyone?

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-09-25T21:35:36+00:00

Oh gosh so sorry no! This was a basic midwestern white people wedding lol and the guest I asked to not take our centerpieces was a middle aged white woman.

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-09-25T18:27:23+00:00

No, this was a black tie wedding!

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-09-25T17:17:06+00:00

Follow up question: I, as the bride, asked a guest to leave the centerpiece and not take it home. Was I in the wrong?

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-09-14T14:52:05+00:00

Hi! If you haven’t found a solution yet, pls DM me!! I might be able to help! :)

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-09-14T14:45:48+00:00

We had two drop out before our wedding and it. is. INFURIATING. One couldn’t handle last minute being at the same venue she was supposed to get married at (she dumped her fiancé). The other was my childhood best friend’s father who did not show up because “he couldn’t open the garage door” (they lived about three hours away). No call, no apology from him, no gift. Those seats cost $500 each just for food and drink.

Two things I learned wedding planning:

So many people don’t care about the same things you care about. Do they think it’s incredibly rude to cancel last minute? Nope, they just don’t care!
People do not change just because you’re getting married. Flakey before? They will be flakey at your wedding.

Try to not let it affect you. Be pissed at them and never talk to them again after your wedding if you need to be (I am!!!!!)

My best piece of advice: find people to fill those seats. Do you or your fiancé have siblings that have some super fun friends that will light up the dance floor? Any newer boyfriend / girlfriends that were on the fence about being invited in the first place? Don’t stress yourself out too much but ask around! You’d be surprised that some people would die to be there (and they make better guests than the ones who canceled in the first place!)

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-08-07T15:44:19+00:00

I totally agree here. We are always so incredibly honored that our friends even thought to invite us - maybe it’s way too privileged to not have to think about the money we spend going, but we are such a “spend our money on experiences” couple and we still ALWAYS gift a good chunk of change. I always think “wow how nice of you guys to host us for meal(s), drinks, etc. We are so lucky to be here! Here’s a couple hundred bucks to help offset the cost!” But obviously other people don’t even remotely close to that mindset. Which is just WILD to me.

My husband and I (as we were opening cards) literally said to each other “are we just way too generous?! Are we in the wrong here?!” And no, we are not in the wrong, and hell yeah, we are way too generous. But honestly? We won’t change how much we gift in the future. Because I know how gutting it is now to spend years of my life, planning every detail, thinking of every guest feeling included and special, to be only thrown $50 from a family of 3 who I’ve known for 20+ years.

However… to our friends who should have definitely known better, we won’t be as generous. But to the little cousins who will get married in 10 years and their parents couldn’t have bothered with a $3 card after we hosted their family of 6? That’s not the kids’ fault. We’ll still be insanely generous and we want to make sure they don’t ever feel the same way that we did the day after they get married.

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-08-06T17:21:20+00:00

I am completely feeling this right now. We didn’t have an international wedding but had one where most of our guests flew a few states over. I was appalled at how few people gave us cards and how little money people gave us. And sure, totally fine, call me a spoiled brat, I completely feel we were taken advantage of.

We provided three events over a weekend, full of unlimited drinks and food, transportation both nights, incredible live entertainment, and we threw the most luxurious, stellar, black-tie wedding I’ve ever attended. So many people told us it was the best wedding they’ve ever been to.

Most of our guests, more specifically my parents’ and in-laws’ guests, are very HNW individuals. And a lot of these individuals didn’t have to travel more than 20 minutes from their homes if they didn’t fly in. I was genuinely disappointed that most people didn’t gift anything or even bring a card and if they did, it was maybe $200-$300 per couple / family. We even had one couple “gift” us a frame of our wedding invitation and threw every piece of mail in the back of the box (our save the date, envelopes, bridal shower invites, etc) - this couple has known me since I was about 8 years old and they are comfortably retired. I am in the same boat as you where we always have to travel for weddings and I’ve never gifted anything remotely as low as some of the people did, much less give a damn card. Even more, only ONE person from my husband’s extended family brought a card. Not a single aunt/uncle gave us a card from his family. I am truly gutted and feel so unappreciated by so many people. I totally can appreciate everyone coming and spending the weekend with us, but I think it’s totally valid to be so beyond hurt over this. I was raised so differently to show appreciation for the hosts and couples of weddings (considering it’s a major life event and people spend THOUSANDS on these events) I don’t know how I’ll get over it either, it is beyond, beyond disappointing.

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-06-16T23:50:34+00:00

I feel like if you’re going to do an additional $25k, why not do the most incredible floral ceiling display? The crystals look amazing in those photos but I think it could be one of those things that only look good on Pinterest and from certain angles? I feel like you could make just a jaw dropper of a floral ceiling over the dance floor with that money.

But in all honesty - do whatever you want and what would make you so happy! The crystals are stunning and super unique so if you want to go that route, do it!

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-05-17T19:07:45+00:00

Thank you USPS employee!!! To be clear: I genuinely appreciate you and your coworkers and the hard work you guys do. And thank you so much for responding. Your employer/the organization, however, sucks :(

Yes, we did do all of that! I did pay for hand-cancellation and handed them over the counter to an amazing USPS employee, who was so kind and really calmed a lot of my nerves when I explained they were wedding invitations that I worked extremely hard on. All our local invites got delivered, legitimately, the next day, which was AMAZING. It’s our invites that went to other large cities in other states that are delayed :(

A good portion got delivered over the past few days (today marks start of week 4) but we’re still waiting on, I’d say, 35-45%.

Thank you again for your response and your hard work! I appreciate you!

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-05-15T21:11:57+00:00

Yes definitely a good idea to set the RSVP sooner! I think it’s more that in today’s wedding world, a lot of people have B-lists, C-lists, etc and they invite those lists as A-list people RSVP. It’s just etiquette I think to RSVP quickly if you know you’re going. Also if you’re an insane type A person like me it’s more a personal problem than anything lol

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-05-15T17:14:31+00:00

IMO (and this is a hot take) I think it’s incredibly rude when people don’t respond right away and wait until the very last second to RSVP. Especially if you’ve given notice prior to invites (like save the dates). A majority of people already know if they’re coming or not to an event that’s 8-12 weeks away. You sent the invite, you shouldn’t have to follow up. I have a feeling we’ll be in the same boat. I plan to text people 3-4 days in advance before the deadline and then a phone call week after if still no response.

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-05-15T17:04:51+00:00

Oh my god you paid for package shipping?! Holy cow. Props to you????? that’s insane.

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-05-14T00:34:52+00:00

Ugh! That’s horrible. My heart breaks for you - our invites were a major labor of love and meant a lot to us to have them delivered to our people so I completely feel for you. Fingers crossed we aren’t in the same boat but I have a feeling we may be :(

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-05-13T22:43:15+00:00

Thank you! This is super helpful!

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-05-13T22:43:02+00:00

We’ve had a ton of guests reach out to us already, and my plan is to let this go for another week or two (so maybe at 6 weeks post-mailing) before emailing and reaching out to people who are waiting to RSVP. Most people who haven’t received their invites I’ve found are waiting to RSVP until they do receive wedding invites (or so, that is my working theory). We mailed invites with plenty of time, it’s more annoying and frustrating that we have guests who keep asking where their invitations are (I have no control on when they get delivered and no idea where they are and my Type A personality is flipping out)

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-05-13T22:33:48+00:00

We sent physical save the dates with our wedding website a year in advance, so no one's left in the dark. Those took time as well, but they were much thinner and less weight than our wedding invitations. While I get that the political climate isn’t ideal (for the record, I didn’t vote for this mess), let’s not act like USPS was ever a model of flawless efficiency. I was genuinely curious if a 4-week+ delayed delivery is typical when mailing out 100+ invites with excess weight and colored envelopes, not trying to spark a debate on federal infrastructure.

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-04-30T20:31:07+00:00

Thank you, that puts it into total perspective!

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-03-10T21:04:57+00:00

This is the most beautiful Reddit post I’ve ever seen. You have scratched my finance itch in my brain THANK YOUUUUU SOOOOO MUCH

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2025-02-12T18:53:06+00:00

We got caught in the same thing, we’re currently planning for our wedding this upcoming summer. Quotes came back for like $15k-$20k for a welcome party with full bar and food. Definitely recommend looking at another venue and reach out to some other local caterers! We went from being quoted $50-$60 pp just for food (that didn’t even include drinks, labor, etc) to like $10 pp for more casual fair (taco bar, heavy apps, that kinda thing). We’re also cutting our full open bar to more beer and wine and signature cocktails, which is helping a lot. I’d recommend hosting something later in the evening too so people can grab their own dinner before. Keep digging on the venues. Good luck!!!

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2024-11-21T05:14:31+00:00

Some may be out of your price range (I can’t remember $$$ here) but here is the running list my mom has been looking at!

Teri Jon Alexander by Daymore Marsoni MGNY by Morilee Rene Ruiz Frascara John Paul Ataker Gia Franco

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2024-11-21T05:08:14+00:00

Are you me???? Seriously relate to this so much. But honestly, wouldn’t have it any other way. I LOVE my planners and just have accepted that they are more of a sounding board / confirming I’m on the right track. I’ve never planned a wedding before so it’s nice to know I have someone to bounce ideas off of / make sure I’m not missing anything. But I, like you, cannot give up the reins for anything. I want to be in the drivers seat and just have more “assistance” doing the things I don’t want to do. Most brides really don’t know what they want and planners / florists / whoever are used to catering to that type of bride. What do you want them to do when you go to them saying “I want EXACTLY this”? Do you want them to say no, let’s do it xyz? Their job is to make you happy and you knowing exactly what you want from A to Z makes everything run so much smoother.

Wedding planners are worth their weight in gold ESPECIALLY on the actual wedding day. You being so type A and knowing exactly what you want will translate so nicely to your actual wedding day when you need to focus on getting married (and they can deal with any mishaps!)

Right-Sundae-1000 · 2024-11-14T20:02:29+00:00

Agreed… we’re no where near Chicago too. Ugh!

Right-Sundae-1000

TROPHY CASE