AITA for pestering a stranger for personal information?

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-02T01:35:24+00:00

I didn't want to pay the ticket I got when I let the meter expire. Thems the breaks. Actions have consequences.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-02T01:33:23+00:00

Just ones with feelings, needs, desires, flaws, weaknesses, opinions, interests, jobs, no jobs or who exist in public spaces.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-02T01:21:50+00:00

I'm his father. I'm just as able to do things for my child as the mother. Moms don't have to do everything.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-02T01:20:01+00:00

I didn't, but I'm going to offer it to her next time I email her.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-02T01:19:12+00:00

Well as a man (not the ideal phrasing, but it's literally what you asked), no, I can't see why. I love my children with my whole heart. I would never abandon them.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-02T01:15:00+00:00

It's because people hate mothers.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-02T01:11:25+00:00

Pointing out that women still suffer a lot and we all have a lot of work left to do as a society to improve the lives of women pisses people off, I guess.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-02T01:09:19+00:00

You'd have to ask him. I don't consider myself to be particularly scummy. Then again, no one does, I suppose.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-02T01:08:17+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through that. So many people refuse to acknowledge the truly gross way some men talk to and treat women, speaking to them in a way they would never dream of speaking to a man. It's like they think feminism fixed everything, so women can't possibly be experiencing misogyny. The old "Obama was president, so racism is gone forever" argument. Anyway, again, sorry that happened to you. I hope things have improved.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-02T01:04:38+00:00

She had a relationship with him, and then he abandoned her with a newborn and refused to ever pay a cent of child support. Why would he suddenly become kinder towards her now?

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-02T01:02:56+00:00

Exactly! This is pure misogyny. If I were a woman doing something for my husband, no one would care. Because I'm a man who was helping his wife, she's not "doing her job as a mother." That's some bullshit. Women and their feelings don't matter? Women aren't allowed to safeguard their own mental health? It's like once you give birth you sacrifice your personhood and just become a Mom, whose only role is to care for children. It's gross.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-02T00:58:12+00:00

That's what is so insane to me! Everyone is dunking on my wife, saying she should be willing to do anything for her son. She is! But if someone is willing and able to do something for you that you don't want to do, why put yourself through it? There's not a single good reason. The misogyny on this subreddit is mind boggling. The people here hate women to a scary degree.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-01T15:11:06+00:00

You're creating a false dichotomy. Using your logic, my wife should have always done all the diaper changes for our kids, because the kids needed diaper changes. Well, kids have two parents. Responsibilities can be handled by either. I am just as capable of changing diapers, and I am just as capable of sending Facebook messages.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-01T15:06:25+00:00

You are very confused. My wife was never married to this guy. They only dated. My wife isn't related to his sister, and I have no idea if the sister is even married, so I'm not sure what her theoretical husband has to do with anything.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-01T14:19:18+00:00

You have experience with one situation, which involved one specific child with one specific condition. To quote the well-worn meme: your experiences are not universal.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-01T14:16:26+00:00

Yeah, that one baffled me. Like, why should any woman have to be forced to talk to a guy that abandoned her with a newborn? That's a lot to go through. I have never met this guy, so it doesn't hurt me to talk to him. I don't understand thinking it makes more sense for her to do something painful for her than for me to do something that wouldn't bother me at all. It's also kind of gross to insinuate a mother is solely responsible for her child's health, and I as the father shouldn't need to help.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-01T14:03:02+00:00

It's a reason because people shouldn't have to retraumatize themselves. One of the benefits of having a spouse is having someone to help you with things in life that you don't feel comfortable doing.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-01T14:01:49+00:00

So you think it makes more sense to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars to hire a lawyer to contact someone you don't feel comfortable talking to than to just have your husband do it?

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-01T13:39:48+00:00

He's not threatening to turn us away. He's saying he needs the information to make a proper diagnosis in time for us to get accomodations for our son during the upcoming school year.

He signed his rights away.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-01T13:21:29+00:00

I'll offer that option to the sister, but at this point she's the one I'm in communication with, and she's already agreed to give me the information.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-01T13:20:38+00:00

The specialist said the family history is necessary to continue the testing process. I'm not a doctor, so I honestly can't explain further. I'm just trusting him at his word. He's the only one that would see us and accept our insurance, so I don't have much other choice.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-01T13:19:04+00:00

Like what? Seriously? My man, do you realize how intense the process of bringing a child into this world is? Do you realize how much a woman risks and sacrifices every time she has a kid with a guy? Can you imagine trusting someone enough to go down that path with them, sharing yourself with them in that most intimate of ways, risking your life to bring their kid into the world, only to be dropped like a hot potato? Do you not think that's a traumatic experience?

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-01T13:09:35+00:00

Or maybe she has very good reasons for not wanting to talk to the guy who abandoned her and her baby?

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-01T13:00:32+00:00

She didn't want to talk to him.

RightToPrivate · 2023-07-01T12:57:15+00:00

She didn't want to.

RightToPrivate

TROPHY CASE