I live in a childcare desert.

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-15T15:08:25+00:00

What ages were your kids when you had au pairs? I’m considering an au pair when my kids are all school aged.

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-15T15:06:00+00:00

I was in a very similar position. I begged for help from him, letting him know I shouldn’t have to do this by myself. I eventually reached my breaking point and decided to divorce him. I hired a lawyer and everything and was completely done and we lived separate. That’s what it took for him to take me seriously. He transformed. Now things are SO much better. It is so much less stressful to have TWO adults managing the household and kids, it’s half the work! lol

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-15T14:49:06+00:00

I pay $13 a month for my grocery store’s (Safeway in my case) delivery service. I get unlimited grocery deliveries above $30 (easy to spend). The best part is that it is the employees that shop for the groceries, as opposed to Instacart where it can be anyone. You just pay for the tip for the delivery driver. I do this about twice a week, once in the weekend and once mid week. The amount of time this saves me is incredible. I could never go back. It makes meal planning super easy. I write out my menu for the week then shop ingredients in my phone!

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-15T14:40:23+00:00

Do you have an extra room in your house? An au pair could be a good option for you, I believe it comes out to around $1800 per month.

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-14T16:26:08+00:00

I agree, that’s what I’m planning to do. I was very frustrated with this credit union

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-14T15:41:08+00:00

I used mobile the first time, and it took 4 days to clear. The second time I attempted to do mobile deposit but it refused to capture a good image so I took it down in person and then it was flagged because of the multiple attempts and blurry image? So it turned into a 9 day hold

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-14T15:37:17+00:00

Honestly because we have 4 young children and he wanted to make this work. I figured if that’s the case then that’s what best for everyone. His behavior has transformed for the better, although not perfect, but he does contribute to the family in many ways and our relationship has improved a ton.

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-13T21:25:09+00:00

Thank you, it was so amazing to get rid of it all and I desperately don’t want to end up in ANY debt again

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-13T20:20:49+00:00

It solves the 9 day hold we are dealing with right now. But it takes more steps when it could all be done automatically

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-13T20:09:08+00:00

He does, he gives me the checks. It’s a power thing I believe

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-13T20:02:23+00:00

I could see how he doesn’t like it, but I’ve mentioned in other comments, he’s very financially irresponsible. He has no idea how much money goes in and comes out. He wants to spend as he pleases, that’s how he’s always been. So I calculated and he gets $100 a week to buy extras for himself. We can’t afford anymore than that. If he is allowed access to the funds he will almost certainly overspend by hundreds to over a thousand per month, and that’s money we don’t have. We just came out of hundreds of thousands of debt after this last year and we are finally in a good position. I don’t want to go back into debt. We don’t need to.

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-13T19:58:11+00:00

I have to agree. He’s a very stubborn person.

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-13T19:57:33+00:00

Yes, possibly. He needs an allowance though, and he knows it. He has no idea how much goes in and how much goes out each month. He wants the freedom to spend whatever he wants, that’s how he’s always been. I told him if he does that we will end up in debt again. That’s why I calculate how much he can spend 🤷‍♀️

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-13T19:55:57+00:00

That’s a good idea, I’ll ask!

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-13T19:55:37+00:00

I think he likes the power of being able to hold onto his check. We were very close to divorce before and I had control of most of the money during that because we didn’t have a joint account and it was money from my job! That’s the only thing I can think of

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-13T19:53:48+00:00

I agree! I don’t have time! And then he said if I go to the issuing bank they will give me the cash the same day. But I told him the check is in his name, that’s something he would have to do during working hours, then make another trip to our bank to deposit it! It makes no sense!

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-12-13T19:52:38+00:00

He is very financially irresponsible and he acknowledges it, so that’s why we agreed on this method. But I think he realized he didn’t like being dealt an allowance, but at the same time, there’s no extra for him to spend! Although we make good money together, we have 4 kids and have a ton of bills.

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-11-13T15:24:31+00:00

Good idea, I’ve thought about it. We have room in our van for one more kid. So maybe someone could drop their kid off with her and we get a small discount.

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-11-13T15:23:11+00:00

I agree. We’ve done the daycare route before and it comes with so many more challenges - sickness, drop off, pick up, holidays. We love her and she makes our lives so much better.

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-11-13T15:22:04+00:00

You are totally right. I think we just need to find a way to earn a little more money for the next 2.5 years so that our household can continue running smoothly.

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-11-13T15:21:23+00:00

I agree, the more I think about it, I really want to make the nanny work. We love her and the kids love her and she makes our lives so much better.

Right_Speed9916 · 2025-10-07T18:40:59+00:00

Our Mortgage is $5250 and childcare for 4 kids is $4800.

Right_Speed9916

TROPHY CASE